Originally Posted by Citykid
I thought this thread was scaring me last week, so I didn't look for a while, but now I look again and you all are talking about gifts for the midwife & doula?! Really, do you think $1000 is not enough of a gift for a professional I'm hiring? I mean it's different if she's a friend of yours, but if she's just someone you're hiring to attend your birth isn't her fee enough?
My m/w is an old friend of mine and absolutely precious -- we went to high school together 20 years ago -- and my doula is a dear friend, so I have no issues with giving each a gift in appreciation and acknowledgement of their support and how much they've meant to me and DH on this journey.
But honestly, I think I would do something regardless of my personal relationship with them outside of being pg, because of their incredibly supportive roles in this pregnancy and (presumably) the birth of my child. It's not like I just met these people this week. If that were the case, then a card after the fact would suffice, absolutely.
And in our case, it's the insurance company that's paying the m/w, not us directly, and they aren't big gifts -- just little thank yous. Sort of like what you'd send your child's favorite teacher for Christmas or at the end of the school year.
Maybe it's a Southern thing? I'd feel guilty if I didn't do something
for the m/w and doula. I sent the pediatrician a Thank You card after our interview with her (because she was so receptive and we really like her), and I'm also bringing fudge or cookies with us to the birth center for the nurses....if I have the energy to bake in early labor that is. But heck, we give the postal carrier a box of chocolates every Christmas, so the notion of a thank you gift for a midwife is not uncommon here. But it might just be a Southern thing. *grins*
Regardless, I think Thank You cards if you were pleased with the m/w and doula services after the birth is absolutely fine.
It's what you feel is appropriate. If you're spending $1000 on their services then you certainly don't have to spend more money on a gift -- but I do think a card is a nice touch if you are pleased with their services.
But the bottom line is there are plenty of things to do and to stress over between now and when the baby comes. If the notion of shopping for a thank you gift is causing you stress, then don't worry about it. Pick up a pack of thank you cards, address some ahead of time and call it a day so you don't have to go out to the store looking for a card with a newborn later.