Too old for this forum, too young for preteens? - Page 2

[Cynthia Mosher]

Hi everyone.

Can someone
explain to me why threads about older children cannot be accommodateed in the existing Childhood Years forum? Maybe I'm missing something. There will be differences in discussion of younger children topics and older children topics. But I don't see why they can't all be hosted in The Childhood Years comfortably. The forum is not that heavily posted to that threads will get moved off the first page very quickly.

[PancakeGoddess]

One thing that can be annoying is posting about a problem with an 8-10 year old and getting a bunch of responses from parents of 4-5 yos. But I don't think a separate forum is necessary for this - I think it would help to include the age of the child in the subject, if you feel the age is relevant and want to remind posters to keep the age in mind.

Some of my issues with my 8 and 11 year olds just can't be addressed with the normal gentle discipline recommendations for 4-6 yos.

[amydidit]

I agree with PancakeGoddess except I do believe a seperate forum would be beneficial. There are mamas who have indicated they don't even go to the Childhood forums because of this problem and their advice may be beneficial to others having a problem. It appears to me that the majority of the posts there are regarding younger children and it gets very frustrating to try and wade through them to find situations that are simlar or related to what you're going through. I've stopped going there much because I find very little that is helpful.

[Cynthia Mosher]

I took a look at the most recent ten pages of threads. I found lots of threads titled to include the age group. Most of those were 3, 4, and 5 year old titles. I saw a couple of 6 yo and 7 yo titles. One 8 year old topic. And the replies I saw were all age appropriate. So perhaps PancakeGoddess makes a good point and it's worth a try.

Lets try to title threads for the age and post in a manner that directs the discussion appropriately for your needs. Post to say something like "My nine year old...........................I'd like to hear from other parents of nine year olds who might have some helpful advice to offer."

If someone posts with advice about how to handle it with a 5 year old then just ignore that. Try to not get frustrated about it. Sometimes people truly feel their advice will be of benefit to you in your situation with your nine year old so please respect that as part of the general air of discussion forum community input. Sometimes the advice is useful.

Let's give that a try. Preface your thread title and clarify in your post your age-specific advice need clearly. After doing that for awhile we can see how successful it is, or isn't, and decide from there. If you know of mamas who have indicated they do not go to the forum due to the over abundance of younger age topic threads, please point them to this post of mine and encourage them to help you all out in giving this new approach a try.

[frowningfrog]

I was going to respond saying basically the same things as the previous 2. I also no longer visit the forum.

I will try that idea and see how it goes.

[erika h]

Originally Posted by LunaMom

My DD is seven, and I find that most or many of the threads here are about kids between the ages of 3 and 6, and the "preteen" forum is mostly 10 and up.

Hi LunaMom! My dd will be 7 this May, so I'll keep and eye out for your posts. It is an interesting age, because at times she seems so mature, and in other situations she seems very much like a little child. I think as lost as you feel, so does my dd at times. She is becoming a little bit more adult, a little bit more responsible, but deep down she is not yet ready to let go of that early childhood spirit. Her emotional transition is very special, and at times I want to be there for her almost more than I am for her little brother. Her needs used to be primarily about things, needs and wants. Now there is a lot more parenting to her spirit, it seems.
Take care!

[Kristine233]

I have a *almost* 7 year old and I use the childhood years for that. In fact I think I'll use it until she's actually a teenager because I absolutely... really... tremendously... HATE the term preteen. They are a teen or a child. I dont want my DD growing up faster than she has to.

ETA: I get so defensive when I see that term because I instantly think of Abercrombie marketing thongs to *tweens* and *preteens*. Ewe!

[LunaMom]

I agree with Amydidit - it seems as though moms of older kids don't even go to the Childhood Years forum because they grew frustrated with the lack of support from parents with similar aged children, so now posting about your six-to-ten-year-old in there feels like calling into an empty room: "Hello? Helllooooo??? Anybody there??????"

Kristine, that is so funny - I associate the word "tween" with those Abercrombie things, too!!!!

[PancakeGoddess]

I don't like preteen/tween if it's just an excuse to market or push older kid stuff to younger kids. However, as the mom of an 11yo, this really is a *distinct* stage - they aren't playing with toys, they're able to discuss sophisticated topicst, etc, but still - they really are not teens. So, I think it's fine to put pre-teens in with teens for the purposes of this board. My 11yo is much more likely to be doing the things that are posted there than on childhood.