Need advice, please.

[momofcutie]

I posted this in Special Needs Parenting and Learning at Home and Beyond, but since different mamas run in different circles and I'm very confused about what to do, I want to cover all of my bases! Please forgive the double post.

My son has been struggling with a lot of anxiety about school since being mainstreamed this fall. He has a mild autism spectrum disorder, sensory issues, mild motor delays, and a visual processing delay (we think.) He did ok in his special class because there were only 5 or 6 kids in there. Well, he did ok until a more severely impaired kid (a spitting, cussing kid) and a new ineffectual aide joined the class. Then he started crying for me at quiet time. I thought he needed out of the special ed class. His behavior has improved so much. And he has outgrown the need for the ED class he was in, but it seems that he still can't handle a full-size class. The noise, the "chaos" that is school, according to him, is just too much. Since being mainstreamed, he's now very afraid of being embarrassed at school. He's afraid of asking for help, because he thinks someone might make fun of him. He's been crying about going to first grade because "you get grades in first grade." And a few times, he's done some minor self-injurious things (made carpet burns on his hands, bit himself) at school.

And now his developmental pediatrician and several members of the IEP team (the school counselor, special ed teacher, etc...) are mentioning medicine to help with the anxiety. It's sad to think that a 6 year old would need medication just to go to school. He does have some anxiety in new social situations, but it's manageable. Most of his anxiety seems to be about school. And there's another change: Since he doesn't need the special class anymore, he can go to our neighborhood school. It's the school with the autism program, so they should better know how to handle problems if they occur, but it's still a change from the familiar.

So I'm tempted to look into other alternatives. If he doesn't need a special ed class, but he can't handle the noise and size of a regular class, then all that's left is a private school that caters to these types of needs and homeschooling. I could keep him at his current school too-they're willing to work with me and at least that's one less change.

[boongirl]

I have a friend who's son has physical/medical issues and he, too, was having issues in school somewhat like your child. His mom was at a loss as to what to do until his ped recommended he see a social worker/counselor at the local children's hospital who specializes in helping kids with medical issues cope with being in school. There is quite a difference between the safety of home and the chaos of school. Is there a professional he can see like this in your area? Not the school counselor but someone who specializes in working with children who have medical issues. Ask your ped. This would be preferable to using meds, I would think.

[Altair]

I teach kids with ASDs in a graduated inclusion program.

I think the majority of kids with ASDs need to be in a school environment tailored to their needs-- but at the same time, one that stresses inclusion at the pace the child is ready for. If i were in your shoes, I would seriously search out my options and if I didn't find any options for high-functioning autism in the area... I would potentially form a task-force and start pushing through changes. the program I work in was originally created through parents identifying a need and pushing the community to meet the need.

I do not think a ASD child should be in either an ED classroom or a mainstream room if it is not VERY carefully balanced and with a lot of extra support. Either option is extremely overwhelming. A teacher with many other students and limited time is not going to be able to addess the needs of an ASD child, and it's just so obvious to me how quickly the flourish when they are in the right school environment.

what part of the country do you live in? I can start looking around for you.

[momofcutie]

We live in Oklahoma. The only specialized school that is remotely suitable is this one:

http://www.tandcschool.org/index.htm

This school is advertised as for kids with ADHD and learning disabilities, but our developmental pediatrician's daughter goes there and the doctor said some of her patients with ASDs go there and have had good experiences.

Isn't it frustrating that for so many high functioning kids on the spectrum, there's no place for them to go? ED classes aren't appropriate-you're right. My son was in one because back when he first qualified for special ed his diagnoses were ADHD and Oppositional Defiant Disorder. It was only after going to see developmental pediatricians and developmental psychologists (rather than traditional psychologists and psychiatrists) that we discovered it was actually an ASD. In our district, most high functioning kids with ASDs are mainstreamed. But in our situation, that means not getting a special education anymore (even though we have an IEP and he's on special ed consult). It means that the school thinks he's doing fine as long as he behaves in class and does well academically.

I think we're going to try our neighborhood school. It's the one with the autism program. He'll still be mainstreamed, but it will be at a school with other mainstreamed kids on the spectrum, so the teachers there have experience with that. And his special ed consult teacher is one of the autism teachers. So this should be a better fit. We'll see. If not, I'm ready to pull him from school and homeschool. I know that I can create an environment that he can handle, you know? I think my husband would prefer traditional schooling-so his vote would probably be for the private school. But he's agreed that if this new school doesn't work out, we can look into homeschooling.

Thanks mamas.

[ChristaN]

My older dd has some sensory integration issues, too, and has a hard time with all of the noise and chaos of a classroom at times as well. She is pretty good at compensating and isn't dealing with all of the other issues that your little guy is, so it is probably easier on her, though.

I am wondering if any of the schools would be willing and/or required to provide a special aide just for him. One of my friends has a grandson who sounds similar to your ds (high functioning ASD) and his mom somehow managed to finagle a full-time aide to be with him in his classroom. (I believe that mom is an atty, so she may have threatened them with legal action or something that made them sit up and listen !) His aide kind of floats around the classroom so that it isn't too obvious to the other kids that he is getting some special attention, but she also helps insulate him from the other kids when he is working on something and answers questions so that he doesn't have to keep asking the teacher.