Extract the teeth? Input please!

[SolsticeMama]

My 2 1/2 year old son went under general anesthesia at age 16 months because his top 4 teeth were already badly decayed. (Yes, we brush and floss every night) Two of the caps have since broken, and last week we were able to get x-rays of his teeth at the pediatric dentist's office. (he did so well being brave and sitting still!!) The x-rays reveal some dark spots on those capped teeth that probably indicate decay. The dentist's recommendation is to extract all four teeth, using nitrous oxide and general anesthesia in the office. We are concerned about him not having top teeth for the next several years and about how his speech and eating will be affected. (We also do not trust this particular dentist because of his manner, but have been seeking other opinions.) Has anyone had this experience? We would appreciate any input, professional or otherwise. We are losing sleep trying to figure out what to do........

[Marsupialmom]

I would get a second opinion.

Also, did this dentist suggest spacers? When we thought we were going to loose one of my son's teeth that was discussed with us. (Thankfully once the dentist got in there things were not as bad as he thought.)

They can also do false teeth, it is a little more expensive but it is possible.

As for eating, he will eat better if he doesn't have pain in his mouth. He can learn to eat around the no teeth.

Speech can develop normally or you might have to do some early therapy. Many times the schools will do this. Locally the school district starts them at 3.

[Chele]

we are in the same boat...my son had decay on his four top teeth way early, shortly after they errupted from the gum. We tried once to fix them and the fillings lasted all of a few weeks. He was 18 months at this point, I went to a dentist who wanted to pull all 4 teeth out, but I was not comfortable with the dentist and didn't think pulling the teeth was appropriate at that time. Now a year later my son has an abcsess and on thursday the tooth has to come out, along with some others I have a feeling. I don't regret not pulling them out a year ago, now he is older, bigger, and I feel more comfortable with the idea of sedation. I think that the fact that decay is progressing under the caps is an indication that those teeth are just weak, pure and simple it has nothing to do with hygiene or nursing etc.... Anytime they fall apart that quickly that young something is just wrong with the enamel formation. I wouldn't worry about eating or speech, my son has not used his four front teeth to eat with for some time now, he does fine. And really the teeth have worn away so much that not having them there won't be much different than it is now and his speech is fine, they will adjust and then adjust again when the permanents emerge. This is so tough, I have also lost more sleep than I care to think about worrying about my sons teeth. Now that we have an abscess to deal with I am having even more trouble calming my frantic mind. I guess we must all keep perspective and they are after all just baby teeth, and I hope that I will have the strength to handle any insults to my parenting with grace knowing in my heart that I am not to blame. Easier said then done. Good luck.

[SolsticeMama]

Update

We drove 2 1/2 hours for a second opinion, which we got a referral from a referral from a referral after emailing some "biological" dentists that we found online. (Whew!)
Our new pediatric dentist didn't even ask about breastfeeding (therefore didn't have anything bad to say about it!) and most importantly STRONGLY disagreed with even considering extracting the teeth at this stage. (speech, eating, spacers for permanents, the procedure itself...) Since our ds is not in pain at this time, we chose to "wait and see" (while continuing with nutrition, supplements, and topical fluoride). He gave us other options, including some repair in his office or lastly repair under GA.
I learned that: we definitely needed a second opinion to find someone who was a better fit for us and our son, AND that since our son isn't in any apparent pain right now, we do not need to do anything (although we do realize that we need to watch for abcess, breakage, pain). Thank you for your input, especially Chele!

[midnightangel]

This might be a little late but I have a 2 yr old who lost her 4 top teeth in an accident when she was 18 months. I have been told by every dentist she has seen and the plastic surgeon that they cannot do spacers for top front teeth, or fake teeth. Her speech is normal and she can eat just fine. With my 6 yr od however she had to have 2 teeth removed from decay, we were told by my regular dentist and the ped dentist that they had to be removed because the decay could affect her permanent teeth. Just something to consider.

[motherbug]

I don't know if I can offer any help to you - but reading this thread makes me feel better!! I'll tell you why - my daughter Olivia just turned 6 years old. She nursed until she was 5 years and 2months old.....We also brush and floss, I am a fanatic almost about the teeth, but - she has so many cavities in between her molars over the years, you would think I NEVER brushed them!!! We eat very healthy, no soda, seldom candy, and she loves veggies, salad, fruit, etc. In fact, the First Dentist she had, accused me of over feeding her raisins and dates, which she said caused all the cavities to begin with: Anyway, against my own better judgement, I allowed the first dentist to do an incredible amount of Dental work on Liv starting when she was just two. They had to give her laughing gas, put her in a baby papoose(straight jacket) and she has 7 silver teeth at this point! Every day I feel guilty over this. She is unvaccinated, thank goodness! B/C she doesn't let anyone touch her with a ten foot pole!! She is very very very fearful of Doctors/Dentists (hmm, I wonder why) and whenever she is in any kind of pain, or gets a boo boo - she hides rather than coming to me for comfort for fear I might bring her to Doctor???? Isn't that terrible??? So, long story short - I switched Dentists. The new one accused me of poor diet! That made me so made, since I almost break the bank to buy expensive organic and healthy food!!! I am in a food co-op, and it just makes me crazy when I am accused of things like that! Anyway, she said one of her molars was so bad, it had to be extracted!! OUCH! She INSISTED, and then said she would put a spacer on at another time!! Dentist appointments are horrific! Liv cries the whole trip there (I don't lie, b/c I am afraid she won't believe me and get in the car with me ever!) The Dentist is always getting irritated with her b/c she screams and is terrified!! So, again, she told me last visit that some more of her teeth needed to come out. Well, I have now refused to get any further work done on her teeth! She is not complaining of any pain, and at 6 years old, her teeth will be coming out sooner or later!! I cannot bring myself to put her through any more torture!! If I had to do it all over, I don't think I would have allowed the first Dentist to do so many procedures. I would have gotten a second or third or fourth opinion. I would have advocated harder for Liv! I would have insisted to stay in the room, to not have a papoose on and I don't even know what else!! So, please please get all the facts! Advocate for your child, and know exactly what is going to happen!!! I wish I did, but - all I can do now is stick up for her from this point forward Good luck!!!