Doctors visit

[SJane01]

Today we had the doctors visit and DS brought up that he wanted circumcised.. Stacy recomended that he a frenuloplasty since my DH will not ever accept a circumcision. DH says he will accept a frenuloplasty and so will DS, now its up to me to decide.

Also she recomended that he start a low amount of hormone therapy when he turns 13 as his bloodwork shows only very small traces of growth hormones, but we all (DH, DS, and I) agreed on that one. She says that this may kick start his body and we would need nothing else other than one treatment period.

[mamachandi]

your ds is 12 and he wants to be circumsized??
I was a little confused by your post

[alegna]

I would not allow a minor to choose elective surgery. Period. There is no reason for it.

-Angela

[hummingbear]

You know, every time I have been cut or put back together it has never been as good as before. I wouldn't allow this surgery on a minor either. It must be difficult for you. I hope you can talk the sense of waiting into both your DH and DS.

[gabysmom617]

I think you need to have a conversation with your son and get to the root of why he wants to be circumcised so bad.

I have a sneaky suspicion he is getting teased from somebody, somewhere. If he is getting teased, or whatever that reason is that he wants to get cut, THAT is the problem that needs to be fixed not his foreskin.


I mean, c'mon, think about it.
When I was 15 I desperatly wanted smaller boobs. (Yes I was an early bloomer.) At that time, I would have gone for a breast reduction. (I was only about a "C" cup, not extra huge or nothing.) If you were my mother, would you have allowed that? Of course not! Instead, most moms would have taught me how to be how to be SECURE IN MY BODY.
He's TWELVE.
He is in no way mature enough to make a decision to be cut or otherwise have his body permanetly altered in such a way!

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Originally Posted by SJane01

Today we had the doctors visit and DS brought up that he wanted circumcised.. Stacy recomended that he a frenuloplasty since my DH will not ever accept a circumcision. DH says he will accept a frenuloplasty and so will DS, now its up to me to decide.

Also she recomended that he start a low amount of hormone therapy when he turns 13 as his bloodwork shows only very small traces of growth hormones, but we all (DH, DS, and I) agreed on that one. She says that this may kick start his body and we would need nothing else other than one treatment period.

What does a frenuloplasty involve? Like any surgery something can go wrong. He will have to be put under general anesthesia and any time that happens there is a risk of death. Risk of infection the total loss of his foreskin and maybe even his whole penis. I know the last is extreme but it CAN happen no matter how small the risk it just is not worth it. There is no way that I would allow either of my kids to have cosmetic surgery at that age unless it was something abnormal. And a foreskin is not abnormal no matter how it may look long, short whatever. Unless there is a abnormality and from your previous postes there is none. He has so much growing to do yet it just makes me sad that he for some reason has a problem with his body something just isnt right there. If you have it done now what happens when he reaches adulthood and the foreskin no longer works as it should? I understand wanting your son to be happy but my way of thinking to do this u need to talk to him and let him know that his body is perfect helping him have a high self asteem not by cutting parts off it.

If he were coming to you wanting a nose job would u allow it at his age? If the answer to that one is no then the answer to cutting on his foreskin should also be no. I may have to stop following this thread as it is so upsetting to me It just dosnt make any sense. Talk to your son make him see that his body is perfect the way God made it and nothing should be done until he is sexually active then if he wants it done reconsider. Please I am begging you. Dont let him do something he may regret the rest of his life. Let him be mentally and physically mature before this decision is made by him.

[Kathryn]

You wouldn't let him choose to have any other plastic surgery at this age (at least I hope not), so why would you let him do that? It's just cosmetic surgery.

[gabysmom617]

Another quick point:

You said his foreskin is long? And yet he is very "small for his age"? (I don't think 12 year old boys are supposed to be but so large, anyway. Most guys have not completed puberty till like 16 years or so.....)

That means HE HASN'T GROW INTO HIS FORESKIN YET!

If he has grown lots of foreskin tissue, that may possibly be his bodies preindicator....(let me see, how can I put this delicately?......) as to how much "room he needs to grow"!

Like God's way of giving him a shoe, that's way to big for him, and saying "Don't worry, one day it will fit."

[splash]

On the breast reduction thing... which I actually think fits this situation well.
I wanted a reduction all though middle and high school. By sixth grade I was wearing a DD. By high school my bras were all special ordered. I was VERY large breasted (but a skinny person in general) and was teased mercilessly. What's more there was PAIN involved. I begged my father to let me have a reduction and he would not. He told me I was not old enough to make this decision. I'm SO GLAD that he didn't allow it to be done.
So what happened? I had one when I was 21 years old. I had to pay more for it than if it had been done under my dad's insurance. I had to miss work and lose money there. I had to recover while being an adult, instead of having dad take care of me!
BUT, I went through a full throught process on it. I researched it. I knew the risks. I made a conscious decision to never give birth (because I cannot breast feed, and I would not have had a reduction if I wanted to have a child by birth) and I was ready to have the surgery. It was tough, it was expensive, it was painful, it was emotional. But I made that decision as an adult.
The decision was the same, either way. So one can say that it would have been better for me to have it done then. But as an adult it was my decision and mine alone, and it came to be from research and deep thinking, not from wanting to fit in and wanting a quick fix. I can never say that it wasn't my choice. And I KNOW now that it was the right choice. What if I had done it at 15 and then regretted it? Whose fault would it have been? Not mine, my father's. Because as a child it was his job to protect me. And he did that by telling me that I had to wait until I was an adult to have it done.
You OWE it to your son NOT to let him make this decision. Give him at least a few more years. Perhaps you could convince him to wait until he is 15 or so and readdress the situation?

[SJane01]

Wow I dont know what to say.

a Fernoloplasty or however its spelled they cut 3 small cuts in the Frenulum and when it heals its aproximatly 2x longer. It does not remove anything, but it does require him to be given a general as they do not want him to get an erection during the procedure or feel pain. The doctor showed me how his ferenlum is causing the problem that he is complaining about and told us the solutions to it. She said it has a 50/50 chance of 'comming out normal and if remedied now will fix the issue for good without circumcising him'

DS has agreed that this will solve his problems and that it will end his quest to get circumcised... DH has agreed to allow it also... now all we need to do is make the appointment.. I dont know.. The new doctor wanted to circumcise him AND remove the ferenulum.. I was a bit in shock when she said that but I tried my best to keep an open mind..

I dont think he is getting picked on, I know that circ rates in this area have been falling for some time, he has even said a lot of boys his age are not circumcised in school.

I just worry if I change my neutral stance on this entire thing that everyone will turn against me and I will then be the culprit. He's keeping his foreskin which is good, and he's having the doctors diagnosed problem fixed which is good. sighs.

[Kathryn]

I'm assuming it's hurting him to retract his foreskin? There are other things he can do then slice up his frenulum. Frank has a good message board about foreskin "issues". I can't remember the link, but I'm sure he'll post it for you.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Can you describe the problem he is having specifically i think i must have missed it somewere?
If like the pp asked it is tight foreskin the answer is simple stretching exercises with a steroid cream to releve the tightness NOT chopping up his foreskin.

[~Megan~]

I don't know your history so please explain. What problem is he having that he needs surgery? Perhaps some of the more educated amoung us can help find a non-surgical remedy.
When you ask a surgeon how to fix a problem they often recommend surgery before any other alternatives that might work just as well.

[SJane01]

Last summer his foreskin was very tight.. now its not.. So his foreskin is not the problem.

The little bridge of skin that connects the head of his penis to the underside of his penis is very short and it makes the skin 'bunch up' as he calls it behind the head when he pulls it back, plus when he pulls it back too far it hurts him. He has been working with streching and creams for the past 7 months, he says tha the is tired of having to have people examine him and have to rub stuff on his penis all the time, so he stopped using the cream in december, but it still hurts him to pull it all the way back ecause of the frenulum.

The doctor showed me how it bunches up on him when he retracts it today, and I can clearly see how this can cause him discomfort. If there is a way to make his Frenulum longer please tell us, With my husbands approval now, DS wants to make his appointment to have it done as soon as possible.

Also for those who do not know any history on the subject.

DS is 12, will be 13 in june. He is having problems also with puberty as the doctor has pointed out that his bone is age 9-10, and he has a very low growth hormone count even for a bone age of 9-10, so no.. puberty is not an issue for him yet.

[gabysmom617]

Just a little something for you to be prepared for:

If I am not mistaken, I think that the male frenelum is comparible in sensitivity to that of a female's clitoris.

So once that is sliced up, it will probably feel the same as if a woman had her clitoris sliced up.

However I could be wrong on that comparison.
Feel free to correct me.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

I am not home right now so I cant give u the link i have to pictures of adult men with retracted foreskins (someone please post it if u know the one i mean) i will do so when i get home if no one else does. In one of the pictures it looks exactly like what you are describing the frenulum is very tight and the penis head actually bends over this is considered normal. I can understand it hurting but if they snip the frenulum they will be cutting nerves and sensation will be lost forever. Frank can explain it better than me I am sure.

[SJane01]

Originally Posted by MRDCatLvr

I am not home right now so I cant give u the link i have to pictures of adult men with retracted foreskins (someone please post it if u know the one i mean) i will do so when i get home if no one else does. In one of the pictures it looks exactly like what you are describing the frenulum is very tight and the penis head actually bends over this is considered normal. I can understand it hurting but if they snip the frenulum they will be cutting nerves and sensation will be lost forever. Frank can explain it better than me I am sure.

The problem is that he has been complaining and begging us to have something done about this for almost a year, 8 months actually. He has seen 2 doctors, both have given similar advice.

[splash]

Jane... if your son is really and truly in pain, and you have sought out several opinions on the manner... then I guess I would say to let him do it. I don't know enough about it, but...
If he is in PAIN, then fixing the pain would be the best course of action. It sounds like you have tried less drastic measures. However each time you post you give more info, instead of laying it all out at once. You never before mentioned he was using creams, or that he was in pain. You just said he didn't like it.

[SJane01]

Originally Posted by splash

Jane... if your son is really and truly in pain, and you have sought out several opinions on the manner... then I guess I would say to let him do it. I don't know enough about it, but...
If he is in PAIN, then fixing the pain would be the best course of action. It sounds like you have tried less drastic measures. However each time you post you give more info, instead of laying it all out at once. You never before mentioned he was using creams, or that he was in pain. You just said he didn't like it.

I see your point -- i'm sorry. DS and DH have tried to fix his problems with steriodal creams and it seems to have fixed the tight foreskin issues and most retraction, its just the 'last little bit'. I could have DS read the threads i have postsed here and comment on it, but I would rather him not read my personal feelings on all of this.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

I understand he is not comfortable and it causes him pain. I understand that 2 dr now have told u this is the thing to do but you have to understand that here in the USA dr's are so ignorent of the intact forskin that they automaticly see cut as the answer they were never taught any other way.

Ok you got me to researching the issue and I have learned many things. I am not so against the procedure as before alto I do think that your son is still to young for it.

The frenulum could very well get more stretchy when full puberty hits. If it is hurting him then maybe it is for the best.

I did find that with a tight frenulum stretching rarly works

I would have a consult with the urologist and have him/her explain in detail what they were going to do and how many times they have done this proceedure.

Also make sure the you tell them they in no way have your permission to do a circumcision and if they do you will sue. Some dr just get cut happy when they get ahold of the genitals of a man.

Read this link: http://www.circumstitions.com/Frenbrev.html

The average age for surgical treatment is from 17 to 27 years old. (This was reported by a Urologist in Germany who operates approximately once a month on these cases). This is a very small operation and is usually done as an out-patient.

All the articles I have pulled up say that the proceedure is done when the boy is older like the quote above. Since growth during puberty can make a difference.


Here is some info on the frenulum: scroll down the page till u get to the picture of the view of the frenulum
here is 2 pictures of frenulums the one on top as u can see extends all the way to the end of the head of the penis: http://www.foreskin.org/frenulum.htm

The disadvantages of removing the frenulum are:-
1.) The frenulum is generally fairly sensitive and provides another place for stimulation, particularly during oral sex.

2.) The main vein (often wrongly called the frenular artery) in the frenulum will be cut and this often bleeds profusely until a stitch is placed to close it.