Looking for other professor mamas - Page 19

[Valian]

Originally Posted by flydale

on the meeting front: I did one in Chicago in Sept (not a science one but...). Ds was 6 months and dp just got to tool around with him and met me for nursing sessions. A lot more focused business and less professional play time, but some great family down town too... seem more balanced and less intense but I didn't get to see everyone I normally would... it was just... well different, but good.

so my question: I just got invited to an on campus interview across the country (where I *think* we would like to live... but that's another story). I'm thinking its best to try and pump like crazy and go out for as little time as possible without the little guy. And then I'd still have to ask the mostly-male department for time-out to pump during the day or I'd end up with more than sweat marks during my job talk. Or I guess I could try and bring dp and ds with me, but I feel like, even if the department was okay with it, it sill seems to cut down on the informal interview time which could be really important (things as little as the car ride from the airport, etc).I don't know what is best... things seem to move so quickly with the job search process in general... I barely would be able to think about if I want to move jobs anyway, but throw in the nursing logistic and :

Congrats on gaining an interview! IMO, though I haven't been in your position yet, Dh and I have been talking logistics for a year now for how we'll handle campus visits. We've settled on the whole family will come along. Partly to quell my nervousness about being away from a nursing babe, just one more thing I don't need to have around to throw me off. I may still need pumping times (maybe--depends on a Dc #2) but at least we'll have nightnursing and, more importantly for us, Dh and kids in tow can really check out the town/area since we'd be making a major comittment to move there.

If an offer ever arrived (fingers crossed) we want to be able to both talk knowledgeably about the area and whether it would work for our family, not be doing frantic internet searches or trying to schedule a quick trip out there.

[namaste_mom]

flydale - I probably wouldn't bring my family unless I had the money to do so. I haven't been in that situation where I was pumping and interviewing but in the situations I have been it...I just had to tell the organizer that I needed time to pump and state it matter of factly so that the organizer did not get embarrassed (or whatever). It is hard to make a choice about moving somewhere when your DH doesn't get to go but sometimes that is what has to be done. I don't think I helped but just wanted to respond.

Hope GSA is going well for those of you who are there.

D.

[KalamazooMom]

flydale-- I have pumped when interviewing. The times I did it I told them before I made the trip out, when we were e-mailing about dates and times and all. I just said I had a baby at home and was nursing and would need a break of 15 minutes twice in the day to express breastmilk for my baby. I thought that worked well because a) the time was built in to the schedule and b) they had time to react to this rather than brining it up when I got out there. All the times that I did it they were fine with it, and it didn't seem weird at all.

[flydale]

Thanks! I emailed them today and informed them of my situation (I found I had a bizarre inclination to be apologetic about it, which I fought, and did it matter of factly - thank you namaste-mom, you're right, that would have made it weird) and the chair of the search committee seemed very support and nonplussed.

Now just to get through it next Tues (for both me and dp) ... the first night away from my little guy okay, then again, my first shot in 8 months at a full nights sleep.

[rock_dr]

good luck flydale!!

[athansor]

Good luck with the interview!

I am sitting by the phone tonight waiting for a phone interview...it's for a school in the UAE, so with the big time difference, I'll be talking with people on the committee from 11:00 - 12:00 tonight.

I was pretty excited about the possiblility of the job, but now I'm not sure if I want to leave for a number of reasons, the main one being that I've got a new little one coming in May, and the situation here is pretty good for having a baby.

Thanks for all the thoughts and well wishes. The exam on Friday was pretty grueling, and I won't know if I passed or not for 12 weeks, but I'm going to assume that I did and try not to worry about it.

I'm getting nervous now, not a big fan of telephone interviews, plus am feeling rather ambivelent about the job, but I still want to interview well.

Anyway, off to go get a cup of some miso soup to help me relax a bit.

[XanaduMama]

What to wear to interview?

I just posted a separate thread about this, but thought I'd ask in here too. I'm waiting to hear about interviews in December (English lit) and am now stressing (among other things) about what the #$%@ to wear! I'll be 6.5 months pg, but the expectation is for traditional, conservative business suits. Anyone know where to find a maternity suit, or suggestions for other options? Anyone BTDT and have suggestions about interviewing while pg? I'm not too worried about whether they'll take me less seriously etc, but want to make sure it's not more of a distraction than is otherwise inevitable...

Thanks!

[kaybee]

Good luck to all of you with interviews coming up. Sarah - I had an academic interview at 7 mo pregnant last year, and it went well. It was funny watching them completely ignore the issue until I pointed out that, yes, I was pregnant. Then they bent over backwards to make sure I didn't have to walk up too many steps, etc. It was nice. (And I got the offer!).

I just got back from a conference which went great. I decided to sit through the employment service 30 min interviews to see if there were any schools I wanted to apply to... and the first school I interviewed with had a guy who actually asked me if I had a family. So I told him he couldn't ask me that. He asked why. I said it was illegal. Then his chair tried explaining to him that he couldn't ask that and another guy there said they just wanted to find someone who isn't likely to leave. Admittedly, I'm a little sensitive to this since I'm part of a 2-body problem, but it still caught me off guard. I'm not applying there (and not just because of this conversation).

But pumping went fine. GSA had reserved 2 dressing rooms that they set up for nursing/pumping moms. Next year, maybe they'll actually advertise them better!

[Geofizz]

I'm glad to hear GSA went well. I can't believe you had to deal with that family question! You'd think people would know about those things nowadays. I've had several variations of questions that were attempts to figure that stuff our about me. It's infuriating.

Maybe a letter to GSA might affect some change? "Thank you very much for providing the venue for the employment service. I had a very productive conference with some likely job leads. However, after one interview, I would like to point out..."

[kimsansf]

Im glad this thread was revived too! Im not a prof yet... still working on that dissertation in econ... but with a 3 month old, Im finding it hard to schedule and hard to focus. Id love to have DS in the campus based daycare, but holy cow- on a grad student income?!

For me, Im looking ahead and wondering how on earth I am going to finish 'on time' and then the tenure process after that is just so overwhelming. Im glad to see so many other mamas with some good advice!!

[flydale]

athansor - how'd it go??? I hate telephone interviews too! you can't tell who you are talking to and how they are responding (but hey at least you can bf during it )

[athansor]

Originally Posted by flydale

athansor - how'd it go??? I hate telephone interviews too! you can't tell who you are talking to and how they are responding (but hey at least you can bf during it )

The interview was really interesting. There was a huge time difference (it started at 11:00 pm my time and 8:00 am their time), so I kept picturing a room full of alert people getting ready to start their day...and me sitting around sipping some miso broth in sweats and a t-shirt

There were some odd delays and problems with the conversation, but we got through them, and I think it went very well in general. Some of the people from the school are planning on attending our big annual conference (where I'll be presenting a paper) in So. Cal next week, so I think I've got another interview scheduled there.

I think I'm starting to feel like nesting with this new little one, though, because I'm realizing that I have a good situation for the new baby at my current school, and travelling (especially across the world) doesn't sound as appealing as it did last spring when I applied.

[rock_dr]

athansor - wow sounds like a really interesting opportunity. Are you researching all about the UAE now? let us know what happens.

kimsansf - welcome. Are there any subsidies or cheaper options through the student union? at our campus, the students have much better childcare options than faculty. also, maybe network with other grad student moms to see about childcare sharing? I think I saw your post in bf about an upcoming trip, good luck with that and I hope you find more supportive responses!

xanadu: I googled maternity business suits and found some, but they look kind of pricey for something you wear basically once. Can you get away with nice pants and a sweater/jacket or something?

[namaste_mom]

Xanadumama - I interviewed at 7 and 8 months pregnant. I wore a nice pair of black maternity pants. A stretchy short sleeved stretchy top that I pulled down over my pants and then my regular business dress jacket over the top, left unbuttoned. I felt like I wanted to wear a suit but didn't want to buy a new one and I wanted to be more dressy than just dress pants and a tailored shirt. Hope that helps.

kaybee - it is hard to believe they didn't know how to answer the question. In my interviews I was very forthright with the fact that I did have a family and that a move to a new state was a big move for us. I wanted the faculty to know that once we made a choice that we would be committed to the university which is not exactly true but it worked. Also, I was pregnant at the time and well, it is really hard not to talk about it when you have a 7 or 8 month belly sticking out.

kimsansf - take it one day at a time; plan for your finish and stick to the plan. Same for tenure, it is easy to get overwhelmed but try not to worry about something you can't change or even influence right now.

athansor - nesting? how far along are you?

[kimmab]

I want to join the party!

I have a job interview too!

I've been lurking but wanted to express my excitement over this. I'm still writing my dissertation and wasn't exactly planning to go on the job market this year until The Perfect Job came up in the database. You know. And I have an interview next weekend! So everybody wish me luck.

It's at our field's big conference so no worries on networking. DH and DS (15 mos) are going to do San Diego while I hit the conference. I'm a little jealous actually.

Thanks kaybee for mentioning requesting pumping space while registering. I think I'll do that!

Also to namaste_mom, emphasizing the family aspects sounds like a good idea. If I get past this initial interview stage I'll try to emphasize it -- this U is in the best place in the world for my DH to find work.

[Geofizz]

Ok ladies, I need advice:

I submitted a paper to Nature-Geoscience, and it got turned away because I cited a paper in the sentence where I stated my primary conclusion. I learned my lesson, and turned the paper around to GRL (non-geology moms: that's the major "letters" journal for our field).

I got the reviews back today. One review is great -- it pretty much says that the paper is great with a few things to make clearer, with a few technical comments.

I evidently pissed off the other reviewer. The written review is two pages long, and comes with 15 citations. : There are three major points, and a bazillion nit-picky points. The reviewer is outright wrong on one point (says it's already well-known, but what's out there is incomplete and wrong), but the other two points are kinda a matter of how you view the Earth and internal processes. I think I could respond to these comments, but the paper is rejected, and it will have to go back in under a new submission number (and submission date) and go back through re-review.

(1) There's not an obvious next-journal-down to go to for this paper. I could really expand it to send it to EPSL, but that's a lot of work, and honestly, this paper doesn't need expanding.

(2) Is there a way in the resubmission process to say that reviewer 1 is not an appropriate reviewer for the next time around? It's an anonymous review, so I don't know who it is (though I can make an educated guess based on the lengthy citation list). I'm assured to have the same AE, since he seems to handle all of the papers in my field.

What would you do with this? I've actually gotten a ton done this year, but I'm feeling frantic that I don't so much as have an accepted paper for 2007.

Am I the only one that routinely pisses off reviewers? I seem to get this every second thing I submit for review.

[kerc]

I'm enjoying a little veteran's day no-classes day. YAY!

Geo: I think it is reasonable to request that this paper NOT be given to a reviewer.

Also the submission process is a little crazy, but in your letter that goes along with can you expressly comment on the previous reviews? Can you call the editor?

[namaste_mom]

Geofizz - I would write a very detailed letter to the editor if you choose to do a second submission stating exactly why the reviewer was wrong and why your paper should be re-considered for publication. Chances are the assistant editor probably is not very familiar with what your topic is and is relying (too much) on the judgement of this one person. Point out that the first reviewer wrote a fair review while the second reviewer apparently is angry for your lack of referencing him/her which is not a reason for rejection. I have found that very detailed responses to criticism listing details and points have worked with the editors that I have had to deal with. They basically need something to tell the reviewer when the paper comes out in print.
BTW - I don't have an acceptance for 2007 either. I published two in 2006 and submitted two in 2007 but neither will accepted this year. My department chair said that they expect such cyclicity.

[dctexan]

Wendy - Ugh. Sorry about the bad reviewer. I have had a couple like that (my worst review was a one paragraph, 4 sentence review that basically said, the question is trival, the results are inconclusive, and the authors are idiots...nice huh?). In general what I do is look at my letter from the editor and see if he/she is encouraging a rewrite & resubmit or if I should move along. Also how much does the editor refer to the problems/issues brought up by the "bad" reviewer? If you think the editor agrees with your bad reviewer, you should move on (even if you are having a hard time coming up with another journal for submission) because you will probably NOT be able to get around that reviewer. However, if most of the editors comments sound like your other reviewer, you probably don't have to worry too much. Good luck!

[rock_dr]

wendy - I'd contact the editor and see if he/she would send it out for a 3rd review before deciding whether it's rejected. I mean, based on 1 yes and 1 no it seems arbitrary to reject it outright. outline your responses to the butthead reviewer so the AE sees the rationale for getting a 3rd opinion.

I've had a few 'angry' reviewers on papers, but what's really funny (not really - only in retrospect) are some of the comments on grant proposals. Like the ones where it's pretty clear the reviewer didn't actually read the proposal.