My 11-month-old isn't walking yet, but in every other aspect she's hit toddlerhood. Little setbacks make her scream, when they never used to. She's become a little scientist at the dinner table - what happens if I smash my bowl down on this food from a great height? how about if I sweep my hand across the tray really fast? And she tries to roll over and crawl away in mid-diaper change, with poop still smeared all over her bottom. It's quite a change in my previously very agreeable baby!
I know these behaviors are 100% developmentally appropriate, but it's still a struggle not to get mad. Especially when I'm especially tired, or when I've just been patient for the last 50 typical toddler behaviors.
The other day, at dinner, I watched her try to flick her sweet potato pieces like tiddlywinks, carefully pick them up one by one and deposit them in another compartment of the highchair tray, smush them with her fist, "paint" with her finger in the resulting mess... I was frustrated. I felt the phrase, "Oh, Alex!" on the tip of my tongue. I thought about trying to feed her with a spoon, or telling her that she must be done with dinner and getting her down.
And then, instead, it occurred to me to say what I thought she was thinking. I said, brightly, "There are so many different things you can do with your food!" And instantly, I felt much better.
And holy cow, it really works for me. My first response in any kind of irritating situation now is to try to say, out loud, what I think she's thinking. "You really want the power cord." "The computer just looks so interesting." "This story gets better and better every time we read it." (for the seventh time in ten minutes, you know how it is.) Then I go on and do whatever seems indicated - for example, move her away from the power cord and explain that it's not safe to babies, or grit my teeth and read Max's Breakfast for the eighth time.
But verbalizing her point of view first makes an amazing difference in my tolerance level and my temper. It really surprises me, how such a small trick helps me so much.
What mental readjustment tricks do you have up your sleeve?
I know these behaviors are 100% developmentally appropriate, but it's still a struggle not to get mad. Especially when I'm especially tired, or when I've just been patient for the last 50 typical toddler behaviors.
The other day, at dinner, I watched her try to flick her sweet potato pieces like tiddlywinks, carefully pick them up one by one and deposit them in another compartment of the highchair tray, smush them with her fist, "paint" with her finger in the resulting mess... I was frustrated. I felt the phrase, "Oh, Alex!" on the tip of my tongue. I thought about trying to feed her with a spoon, or telling her that she must be done with dinner and getting her down.
And then, instead, it occurred to me to say what I thought she was thinking. I said, brightly, "There are so many different things you can do with your food!" And instantly, I felt much better.
And holy cow, it really works for me. My first response in any kind of irritating situation now is to try to say, out loud, what I think she's thinking. "You really want the power cord." "The computer just looks so interesting." "This story gets better and better every time we read it." (for the seventh time in ten minutes, you know how it is.) Then I go on and do whatever seems indicated - for example, move her away from the power cord and explain that it's not safe to babies, or grit my teeth and read Max's Breakfast for the eighth time.
But verbalizing her point of view first makes an amazing difference in my tolerance level and my temper. It really surprises me, how such a small trick helps me so much.
What mental readjustment tricks do you have up your sleeve?
This is great!
