fine. I admit it. I'm frustrated with holding All Day Long.

[judybean]

There are a few times (once in a blue moon) that Lucy will be happy simply laying and looking around. But the other times, when the blue moon is hiding? Well, she wants to be held. And only held certain ways (depending on her disposition at the time).

And honestly, I'm really getting frustrated with this -- nearly to the point of resentment. I think it all nearly hit the fan this morning.

All I wanted was a shower. I knew dh had to go in by noon and it was rapidly approaching 11 a.m. I had to get lunch ready for everybody, so I did that. By the time I finally had everybody else ready, Lucy began to get fussy. Dh really did have to eat before work (works in a youth rehab/corrections center) as he can't eat at work. So I said I'd just take Lucy in with me.

That's not what she wanted. Needless to say she let out The Most Earpiercing scream ever (which is bad enough in a 'normal' room, but in an echoing shower was beyond terrible). I already had shampoo in my hair (she was laying for a moment in the baby tub... water only goes up to an inch in there when the 'plug' is pulled). I was trying to get it out as fast as I could but all I could do was cry.

I think it's because I need at least a tiny amount of alone time every day. I haven't gotten that today.

Dh did come in and ask if I needed him to take Lucy after hearing the screaming, and thank goodness, he did.

But... I've felt drained ever since.

MIL has a swing at her house but Lucy doesn't seem to like it (we can take it if we want it, she said). She doesn't like the bouncy chair. She doesn't like to be carried in my arms while on her back. She only likes to face outward when carried in arms.

She will fall asleep if I take a walk and put her in the Mei Tai (while facing in, amazingly)... and she'll tolerate being carried semi-kangaroo style in the ring sling while grocery shopping or otherwise.

But she always wants to be held and/or eat.

I feel terrible for not liking this. Yes, I love that she loves me.... but it's hard.

/end whining session.

[IncaMama]

omg i feeeeeel youuuuuuuuu. ava's getting better...she'll sit in her bouncy for about 10 minutes now...and she'll lie on her changing table for about 10 minutes...and she'll lie in her gymini mat for about 5 minutes.

so 25 minutes total, which feels like heaven. not all in a row, of course. LOL the only thing that saves my arse is that she tends to take loooong naps. THANK GOD. and she likes to sleep in her moses basket. THANK GOD!

i'd be losing my friggin mind too if i didn't get any of those breaks. um...ok sometimes i lose it anyway even when i HAVE those breaks. LOL

i have no advice...other than finding someone else to take over for a while sometimes?

[spiralmg]

We had one of those days too. And I have no right to complain, because I did have a babysitter for DS today. BUT...DD did not let me put her down all day. All I wanted to do today was to take a nap while she was sleeping. And she didn't sleep. And didn't sleep. And didn't sleep. Then finally around 4:30 she went down and I nursed her and fell into a deep black hole of a sleep for half an hour, while propped oddly - the sleep was lovely but I woke up with a backache. And then I got up, went to the bathroom and thought, okay, I can have a few minutes here to gather myself - AND SHE WOKE UP! ARGHHH!!!. I wanted to implode.

[darkpear]

Aww I totally feel for you mamas My first was the high needs baby and that was rough, I can't imagine how it is with older kids around.

[aisraeltax]

as i read this, Ethan is in the sling b/c he wont lie down by himself and i just want some computer time.
i dont know the answer to our problem...they will grow out of it??? hmmm..
but can give you

[judybean]

nak

thank you, mamas. and for a moment here i'm going to count my blessings instead of complain....

i don't know what i'd do if family didn't live in town. this afternoon my sister called up and wondered if i wanted her to take the older two girls for a bit since she was off today. i about dropped the phone simply because i nearly thought it was a dream with her perfect timing!!!

so i had two hours of lucy and me time

[aisraeltax]

you have a right to complain. im convinced that mamas that complain to other mamas and feel listened to and not alone are much healthier than those that keep it inside and one day explode! kwim?

last night (i hate to admit it), i took a few more minutes in teh bathroom while Ethan screamed his lungs out in the bassinet (around 1:30am when i had to go get a wipe to change his diaper). i just couldnt go back in teh bedroom yet b/c it really was getting to me.

dh and i have not had "alone" time in a very long time. not that we need to be alone with a 2 mo. old, but he does kind of need to be asleep. i dont have a problem with him in teh room or even on teh bed at this age, but looking at me while dh and i "do it" is kind of beyond my comfort zone.

hang in there...things will get better. i remember reading after 3 months their schedule really does balance out...that was true of ds2 but not ds1, so im still waiting to see...

[anonymous4_20]

Originally Posted by aisraeltax

hang in there...things will get better. i remember reading after 3 months their schedule really does balance out...that was true of ds2 but not ds1, so im still waiting to see...

Okay, we officially hit 3 months on Thursday. Can I bump this thread on Friday to complain if he doesn't settle down?

Honestly, though, he's been getting a bit better. He was doing really well, but the growth spurt we had really messed him up. I can't really wear him at all due to shoulder issues, so it's been tough for me. Fortunately, he likes his bouncer and his gym, so I just carry those around and do my work while chatting with him. They're good for about 20-30 minutes each right now, which isn't too bad, I guess. Now if only he would nap without my breast in his mouth!

I just had a LLL meeting last night and there were 3 newborns there just sitting peacefully and not whining. I forgot that babies could do that!

What is it with this DDC? Did we all have high-needs babies, or are we just the only ones who stuck around, desperate for help?

[judybean]

Originally Posted by anonymous4_20

What is it with this DDC? Did we all have high-needs babies, or are we just the only ones who stuck around, desperate for help?

I'm thinking this might be the case!!!

[judybean]

oh... I have to add my saving grace. If all else fails and things are Just Not Going Well at home (with *any* of the girls), we pack up and go for a drive. Often we'll head up to the mountains (not far at all!), but it's mostly just for the drive because Lucy and Katherine are out like a light and Madeline will entertain herself in the back! ... at least I still have *that*...

....

ETA: last night I got to thinking... I wonder if things seem so much harder because I'm a SAHM now. I didn't quit my job until this past June, so in the early days I always had some work time (the girls went to MILs in-home daycare, or to my parents' house) ... which for me was away time. ... Now it's All Me All The Time. So I think that may be playing a role in it as well.

[wirewendy]

Vibrating Chair

Have you tried getting a vibrating chair? I have a vibrating Papasan chair that I got at Babies R Us. They also have it at Target. Ranjana can sit in it for quite a while.

today though I got so tired of holding her. The batteries ran out on the chair, so she wasn't happy sitting in it. She will only sleep if I hold her. I am going nuts! She finally just went down for a nap.

Do you have a sling? hugs hugs and more hugs.

[judybean]

yes, I have a sling and she does like it for a bit .... but I can't sew with it on (though I guess I could try the back carry in the mei tai?)...

and we do have a vibrating bouncy chair -- it just doesn't have batteries : .. maybe I should get some though!!

(except I think we're done venturing out of the house for today... we went to the fabric store earlier and Madeline decided to throw up everywhere ... yep... aren't kids *so* fun ?!? ... and yes.. that's said with sarcasm... don't get me wrong.. I my kids! .. .. well... *most* of the time )

[mkoontz]

Oh my god, I'm so there with you. The last two days Aveena's been a dream, but before that my father was visiting and she was grumpy the WHOLE TIME. I hit the wall one night and just cried and cried. Dh was wonderful and just let me get it out.

Aveena's the same about not liking anything but being carried facing out - really get's your arms doesn't it.

Anyway hang in there - it must get better cause you had more than one right????

[witchbaby]

i'm having a weird experience myself. my first was a high needs baby. she had three settings: sleeping, eating and screaming. during the day, she would only sleep in my arms. around 4-5 months, my mother could get her to sleep in a bouncy chair. however, she didn't sleep for more than 30 minutes at a time until she was about 14 or 15 months old.
m is not as high needs as k was. he's a pretty easygoing guy. his fussing and screaming is really much less than k's ever was. but he does NOT like to be put down. besides nursing and insisting on sleeping in my arms, k did not want anything to do with me. she hated the sling until she could ride in the hip carry. she preferred the floor to my arms if she was awake. m will be content on a blanket on the floor or in his bouncy seat for a little while, then demands i hold him. he hates the cradle hold, but i luckily got a moby this week and he ADORES the lotus hold, so he can look out while being carried and my arms are spared.
so, i have a not high needs high needs baby. haha!

[judybean]

Originally Posted by mkoontz

Anyway hang in there - it must get better cause you had more than one right????

oh. my. goodness.

for whatever reason, this totally had me laughing out loud -- and still laughing!!!!

thank you !! this is just what i needed!!!!

[perditafoster]

I think all of us mamas are the best mamas and our babies are simply accustomed to the best...so why wouldn't they want to be held all the time? it's THE MOST FRUSTRATING THING IN THE WORLD (said loudly and wtih emphasis), but I guess we can take it as a compliment. Our babies love us best of all and they're all smart enough to tell us, in no uncertain terms, that they want us to hold them RIGHT NOW! As I type this, DH is holding dd #2 with one arm and loading the dishes with the other DD #1, who was super duper dee duper high needs, is bouncing around on the deck singing a song and blessedly, not needing to be held by anyone right now. I held her all the time when she was an infant, too, and she's just fine at the age of three--a beautiful genius who doesn't sleep through the night all the time but most of the time . So it does get better, as I'm sure all of us BTDT moms know, but sometimes I get so frickin' frustrated that I never ever ever want to hold another baby again! And then, dh will help out or a friend or I'll get some sleep and my whole attitude will change and I'll recommit to having two more kids...I must be crazy. If I was posting this at 2 AM, I'd have something quite different to say