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Disrespecting kids.... RANT!

post #1 of 17
Thread Starter 
I am a SAHM. I have 4 kids. Whether people like it or not I have to take the kids out occationally. So today we needed to go to the store, normally I try and do this on the weekends or when DH gets home from work, but we needed stuff so I decided to do our regular shopping today, get it out of the way, so I wouldn't have to go out later this evening or tomorrow morning.
Ok so there is the back ground...
At the first store someone grabbed my oldest ds's head and gave him a shove to get out of the way! Now what the heck was that about? No excuse me? Would they have done that to an adult that was in their way???
Then we hit the co-op. DD is pushing the cart, we go to get dried seaweed and produce and that was it. In and out in like 15 minutes. DD sees a basket in the middle of an isle with a towel in it and some sponges. She picks it up and sets it aside. Then some woman says in a rude tone... "Fix that display the way it was" What way would that be??? Sitting in the middle of the isle? It was blocking the isle (It wasn't a big basket, like maybe some one hit it with their cart and it fell off a shelf) No thank you for picking that up. No saying something like "the towel goes under the sponges honey". Just crappy tone and attitude.
Just because they are kids doesn't mean they have no feelings, or that you can disrespect them. JERKS! : :

H
post #2 of 17
Quote:
At the first store someone grabbed my oldest ds's head and gave him a shove to get out of the way!
Whoa... I would have totally knocked the guy out. I hate rude people.
post #3 of 17
I had this old geezer LOL tell my 5 year old that his 5 month old brother was way cuter than him and he was not cute anymore. Oh I was mad, I asked DS to go pick out some cookies and I would be right there(we were in that isle and cookies were near the end of it) I turned around and said"excuse me geezer(I know rude but so was he)the next time you want to shoot a little kids selfesteam down, keep you Fuc&%$ comments to youself!!!!" Then walked away LOL
post #4 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by ilovemy2ds
I had this old geezer LOL tell my 5 year old that his 5 month old brother was way cuter than him and he was not cute anymore. Oh I was mad, I asked DS to go pick out some cookies and I would be right there(we were in that isle and cookies were near the end of it) I turned around and said"excuse me geezer(I know rude but so was he)the next time you want to shoot a little kids selfesteam down, keep you Fuc&%$ comments to youself!!!!" Then walked away LOL

Right on!!!!!! I love it! This is soo what I would have done. Some people have a lot of nerve! Really, kids are kids and there is a fine line between normal curiosity and being destructive. Kids are naturally curious and society should embarce that, not discourage it!
post #5 of 17
Wow. There's just no excuse for that. I have yet to experience that kind of rudeness toward my kids. Gee, something to look forward to. Times like that make it hard to like people.
post #6 of 17
It drives me batty. We were sitting outside Whole Foods having lunch and ds was alternately sitting with us eating his lunch, with his plate in front of him, and crawling on this ledge out of the way. A man walks over while ds was on the ledge and asks if he could use the chair. We told him that our son was using it. He looks over at him and says, "It doesn't look like he's using it to me." Dh and I kind of looked at him and said "He's using it." So the guy stands at the table next to us with his friend and proceeds to rant loud enough for us to hear about how stupid it is that he can't use the chair since the kid isn't using it anyway. I finally couldn't take it anymore and turned around and said "Hey, he might be a kid but he's a person, and he's using the damn chair." The guy got all snotty with me, and I had to hold dh back from throwing the chair at the guy. Jerk. Like he'd do that if it was an adult going back and forth to the chair.
post #7 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by ilovemy2ds
I turned around and said"excuse me geezer(I know rude but so was he)the next time you want to shoot a little kids selfesteam down, keep you Fuc&%$ comments to youself!!!!" Then walked away LOL
Good for you! I cheered out loud when I read that! :
post #8 of 17
Thread Starter 
I didn't see the guy who pushed my son out of the way, or I would have said something and the kids couldn't find him. (I was pretty P.O.'d) What gets me if my son was walking too slow... how about an "excuse me please" like we expect from kids. Would that jerk have shooved an old lady out of the way? NO! But a kid... why not, they don't count as people!:

H
post #9 of 17
You know, I hate when some parents think that their children are perfect and never do anything wrong and let their kids run wild and scream like banshees in a store or other public place.

However, this was obviously NOT the case with the OP.

Why can't people just be polite, no matter if it is a child or not? If someone shoved my child instead of saying "Excuse me", or "May I get through?" or something like that, I would probably go ballistic.

I get the same crap when I take out my son with Autism and he might talk a little loud or get kind of antsy. I have had people say he should be kept at home, etc. You know, how is he ever going to learn to deal with the world if he is only kept at home. Now, I do not let him just act up and not deal with him and if he is not able to be calmed down, should he have a meltdown, we leave. That is for his well-being, as well as for the consideration of other people. I can always go out later when DH is home to keep DS. However, kids have the right to be out in public too.
post #10 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by oceanbaby
It drives me batty. We were sitting outside Whole Foods having lunch and ds was alternately sitting with us eating his lunch, with his plate in front of him, and crawling on this ledge out of the way. A man walks over while ds was on the ledge and asks if he could use the chair. We told him that our son was using it. He looks over at him and says, "It doesn't look like he's using it to me." Dh and I kind of looked at him and said "He's using it." So the guy stands at the table next to us with his friend and proceeds to rant loud enough for us to hear about how stupid it is that he can't use the chair since the kid isn't using it anyway. I finally couldn't take it anymore and turned around and said "Hey, he might be a kid but he's a person, and he's using the damn chair." The guy got all snotty with me, and I had to hold dh back from throwing the chair at the guy. Jerk. Like he'd do that if it was an adult going back and forth to the chair.

Actually I have seen this happen. Really. Like at our town's weekly concerts. There are chairs for a quick bite to eat first, but some people (yep, adults) will go between their chair and up and talking to their friends. And when the person says they are still using their chair, people will DEFINTITELY say something like "well could you just finish up, alot of people would like to use the chairs!" (and they rant to their friends about how "some people can be so rude") So I am not sure this is a kid issue.
post #11 of 17
bump
post #12 of 17
Okay so I came here tonight because I wanted to post about how rude people have been, and especially at our co-op (are you in Sacramento too? I saw "boiling hot" ), lately. But your post was already here!

I have two children and I'm pregnant - one of us seems to always be in the way. And I'm sick of always moving my children first one here then the other and rushing them to get out of the way - because I know how it feels to be treated like a pain in the neck "all of the time" - and often I feel like people make a big show of being in a rush and inconvenienced by my children or are extra inflexible just because the people in their way are children. I feel as if my family is a target for people's impatience. For instance, when we're in a grocery aisle and my cart is parked with another person's so that the aisle is blocked - it seems as if people will often immediately react only to me, the woman with children, as if it's only my fault and I'm being horrible. Maybe this sounds weird but I feel like a lot of people are actually on the look out for opportunities to fuss about children. And they would normally let the same level of inconvenience slide if another adult were involved.

I think people are definitely impatient with each other in general - but I think the elderly and children get it worst of all. The way people just can't seem to spare literally a few seconds to deal with someone who isn't perfectly aware of others, or slower, or walking in an unpredictable path, or louder than some other people, or messier, or prone to innocent, but well-intentioned, errors in judgement (like the senario with the basket in the grocery aisle).

The persistent impatience just seems to send the message to children that they are an unbearable nusiance, and their very presence is unwanted. That would get me down - it does get me down and I'm not the direct target of people's impatience as often as my children are.

I think so many posts were positive about even strongly worded responses to people who are rude to children because speaking back is really important. It's important for our kids to hear it so they don't internalize people's attitudes towards them. And, I think we need to feel more "entitled" to be out in the world with our little people. Sometimes even here on the mothering board I see too much negative attitude about kids in public. About their noise and their energy in public. They have noise and energy because they are children - when they can act like adults they will *be* adults. I can't help thinking there's something wrong with a culture's priorities when children are not welcomed in public. And I wish mothers would stick up for each other more.

Okay so I'm mostly trying to give myself a pep-talk here But the impatience gets into me - and I start treating my kids that way when we're in public So I needed to work out my thinking on this - it's too easy for me to fall into thinking my kids are not under enough "control", etc etc, and I'm too sensitive to what others think.

~Eve
post #13 of 17
What's up with those people?!!!
just bcoz they're kids they can do whatever they want thinking that kids are afraid of them and cant do anything about it....

geeez! they should respect kids if they want to get respect from others.
post #14 of 17
Wow...just...wow. Totally inappropriate for the person at the first store to even think for a second it was OK to lay a hand on your child.
What is WRONG with people these days?
post #15 of 17
wow, i guess we are lucky. We dont typically get rudeness when my kids are busy, acting up or in others' way. I dont search for unhappy faces though. Also, I tend to get encouraging smiles and well meaning strangers who will say "hi" to my tantruming toddler in the cart which will in turn quiet her right up bc she's embarrassed.....lol.... like i said, I guess we are lucky.
post #16 of 17
I was just grocery shopping yesterday and it was pretty good. I agree that we always seem to be in the way and most people are very impatient. I had a couple of nice exchanges so that shows there are some people who get it. I had a nice lady move out of my way since my DS asked why we were not moving and I said we can't go the aisle was blocked by merchandise and the lady. She backed all the way out of the aisle for me and I said thanks and she said she remembered those days of shopping... I had another nice lady smile at their antics (getting in and out of the car shopping cart.) I said, "Seems chaotic but they entertain each other." She smiled. I did sense that they were in the way at times but heck that is life with kids and not one person laid a hand on my kids. I think I would have to tear off their arms for doing that. I really don't like taking them both but it was better than with just my 3 year old.

We almost got run over in the parking lot by a huge truck passing thru. There is a Lumber Yard right next to the grocery store. It is very dangerous and I hold both my kids tight in the lot. But still he roared past us going way too fast for a parking lot.

Doreen
post #17 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by momea
I feel as if my family is a target for people's impatience.
Eve - I TOTALLY know how you feel. I have three small children (one 8, one 3, one 7 mos) and I can almost FEEL people tightening up when we come into the store. Now, the two older ones are extraordinarily well behaved (if I say so myself) but yeah, they're going to speak and yeah, sometimes they might actually be looking at something in one of the aisles and yeah, maybe they might be five feet away from me. Sometimes the 3 year old will take things off shelves, but we call her the Little Martha Stuart because everything goes back exactly as she found it. But no, my kids are Satan because they touch things ONCE IN A WHILE.

I hate it, too, when people look over at me in that *knowing* way and say, "You've got your hands full, don'tcha?" as if I'm supposed to agree that my kids are a pain in the ass and I just can't wait for them to move out. Arrrrghghghhgh (although that's ANOTHER rant for another day).

Point being, I feel like a target a lot too, and most of the health food stores and such I go to are *very* small, so I always feel like I need to tether the kids *right next to me* or someone's going to get extra annoyed because they have to ask one my kids to move (altho they don't seem to have a problem with asking an adult to move...: )

*sappy music* Yoooooooooou are not aloooooone...
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