My baby does not need to go on a diet....

[Taedareth]

I think it's sad that just because fatness is not in vogue for adults nowadays, people have been implying that it's not okay for my baby to be chubby. It's not everyone, but a few people have made comments. From what I understand, babies are supposed to put on plenty of flesh during this time (they burn it off once they get more mobile) and a breastfed baby does not need to have his access to the breast limited. Right?

People have been saying what a "chunk" and "chubbo" he is (they probably meant nothing by it, maybe I'm just being hypersensitive - he's 3 months old and probably weighs about 18 lbs.) But then we visited my parents recently and DS wanted to nurse like 4 times in 4 hours (only for 5-10 minutes per session though) and fourth time my dad frowned and said that he nurses an awful lot. And then my father in law was over here recently and I nursed DS a couple times (again, only for 5-10 minutes each time). When DS started getting fussy after two hours of not eating, he said, "Now boy, you can't be hungry so just knock it off." What's up? Are people just so used to formula-fed babies being full for several hours at a time that they aren't aware that breastmilk (being easily digestible) goes through their system faster? And plus, DS likes to snack rather than tank up. I don't think people understand that.

What are your experiences, mamas?

[darkpear]

18 pounds is pretty darn big for a 3 month old! I doubt that the frequency of his nursing has much to do with his size, regardless. Moira is putting on weight faster than Amalie did, and she nurses less often.

Breastfed babies get as big as they are supposed to get Don't let people get to you. Somebody has to be on the extreme ends of those growth charts, after all.

[IncaMama]

pft. at the risk of offending some of you lovely ladies, i just have to say FUCK THEM! i have dealt with this kind of CRAP for all of Rowan's life. Rowan was always and still is a big kid. at 2yo he was already pushing 40lbs. and 40". since then, he hasn't gained much weight but has gotten taller...so now he's about 43" and probably 41lbs. i have heard so much crap about him "never missing a meal". whatever. he had feeding issues and he DID miss almost EVERY meal because he gagged and threw everything up. never judge a book by its cover, that's for sure. my breastmilk alone was responsible for his tremendous size. and you know what?? brava to me!!!

ANYWAY - now my daughter is a chunk. i mean CHUNKA. LOL what made me anxious when my son was born (all the fat rolls) has made me absolutely giddy with pride this time around. babies are supposed to chunk up. it's their one and only job. they have ONE JOB and that is to get bigger and fatter. your son is a PRO!!! good for him!! he's roley poley perfection!!!

when rowan was getting all of the flak, i let it get to me bigtime. and i felt the need to make excuses. but thankfully, i have gotten WAY past that in time for me to not damage my son. i REFUSE to allow that kind of attitude in my life anymore, or in his. i do not make excuses for him anymore. when someone says "he never misses a meal, does he?" i don't feel the need to justfiy things and say "Well, actually, he does have a problem with food...etc" unless i feel like they need to be educated about something specifically. if it's a friend of mine i will go the extra mile and explain his issues. if it's a stranger i will just say something like "he is gorgeous, isn't he? stunning, really. i only wish that adults were able to feel so free and happy with their bodies as he does with his. it's beautiful to see in him."

i have owned my children's chunkiness. and i LOVE it. they are exquisite beauties who are so happy and joyful and scrumptious. my attitude about their weight will affect them FAR more in later years than their weight itself. so i have made the decision to NEVER let it be an issue in my own mind or in theirs.

i realize that i've probably gone overboard with my post, but i know what you might be in for if your child stays on the chunkier side. my advice is to let that go COMPLETELY. i'm not saying that YOU have an issue with your baby's weight, but i know how defensive you must feel when others say it. and the best thing i can suggest is to just let it rollll right off. combat their ignorance with the unabating pride you feel for your little boy. let them see you ADORING his rolls. LOVING his chunka chunk. he's doing EXACTLY what he's supposed to be doing. he's eating the PERFECT amount becuase HE does not have food issues. your family members do. babies are born with absolutely NO hangups. he has no idea it's not acceptable to eat 4 times in 4 hours. he knows he's hungry, so he eats. when he's not hungry, he doesn't eat. it's perfect and beautiful and we should be learning from HIM! can you imagine if we were able to regulate our eating based ONLY on hunger?? we'd all be our own body's ideal weight. LOL!!

and the next time your FIL reaches for a donut or a handful of chips or an extra serving at dinner, i'd look aghast and exclaim "oh, dad, SURELY you don't need ANOTHER serving! did you SEE the amount you ate the FIRST time around??" see how much he likes it.

*HUG*

[Spark]

nak
people will always be up in your parenting whether its eating, discipline, education, manners, etc. It never ends. Only your attitude and reactions to it can change.

breastfed baby fat is radically different than formula fat. it reacts differently.

[birthjunkie27]

A friend of my family had a son that was 27lbs at 3 mos. NO JOKE. He was GIANT. And he was formula fed. A FULL 8 oz bottle every 2 hours. And he started rice cereal at 2 weeks old, because his Dr. thought he was starving. : He's now a tall and skinny 9 yr old.

As for the "he's eating too often" comments. Screw them!!!! Samara also eats every hour sometimes...and sometimes multiple times an hour. That's what breastfed babies do. They don't guzzle a full 8 oz and then wait 4 hours till the next meal....they snack. And most people are just not used to this. And they also are not aware of the differences in bm and formula. Like, how bm digests SO much quicker than formula. And they are also not aware that babies do not nurse solely because they're hungry. They nurse for a variety of reasons.

[iris0110]

It's funny because Kearnan was so small. HE was tiny and everyone was always on me about how small he was. I got flack constantly at the Dr's office for his size. And I was worried because he had high volume reflux, and I was afraid we really had a problem. They kept telling me I didn't have enough milk (sooooo not a problem, I fed him and still managed to pump enough to feed another child. When he was a year old I had to throw a bunch that I had frozen away because I had so much and he never took bottles) and that he needed formula. But I knew that was wrong, that he was having enough wet and dirty diapers and he must be doing ok. He was only 16lbs at 1yr. Well at 1 yr we switched insurance and took him to the pedi I had seen as a child. You know what, Dr. H took one look at him and said "he's built like you. You were such a tiny child. He'll get big when he's ready." No more worries, and he encouraged me to continue nursing until Kearnan was ready to wean. Now at 4.5 he is still a tiny thing, but it doesn't bother me any more.

Now Tharen is totally oposite. He was 8lbs 9 ozs at birth, and he has been packing it on ever since. And those same people who told me that Kearnan was too small are saying that Tharen is too big. Now he must need formula because he is sooo big and my milk can't possibly be enough for him. Well, my milk got him to this size, and it will be plenty. You just can't make people happy. If your baby is small you are doing something wrong, if your baby is big you are doing something wrong. I would love to know what size of baby would make them happy. :

[hottmama]

Julian was "underweight" as a baby (now in the 95th percentile as a BFed 3 yr. old) and I am soooo glad Luka's a chunk. Everyone acted like I was starving Julian, pressured me into starting solids at 5 mos., and just generally acted like BFing was not enough for him.
Every time someone talks about how chubby Luka is, I am so proud and happy. I have never taken it as an insult. Also, he nurses less frequently than Julian did, but I still get the "He can't be hungry, he just ate!" stuff, and I think it's ridiculous. I eat constantly and wear a size 2- we just have fast metabolisms in my family. When I go out to dinner, I grab a snack as soon as I walk into the house.

[Taedareth]

Whew, thanks mamas. I love all your stories. I found this fabulous WHO Growth Chart for Breastfed Babies. For boys, 20 lbs is the high end and for girls, 17 lbs is the high end for 3 months old. So there, DS is perfectly normal

I think the other reason the comments about DS's weight bother me is that my DH has hypothyroidism and has struggled with being about 80 lbs overweight for most of his adult life. Most people have no idea that thyroid function is behind it (and since we have no health insurance for him he can't get medication to help with it.) People probably just assume DH can't put down the fork. So the "Like father, like son!" comments are really hurtful, even if nobody means to be unkind. *sigh*

[witchbaby]

k was a chubby girl, too, though not as much as your babe! she was 16 pounds at 4 months, and, by 3 months, was an absolute butterball. we have a photo of her and she looks so round everywhere-- her rolls had rolls!
m is chubby, but not as much as his sister was. he's just about 2.5 months now and weighs around 13.5 pounds. his size is totally length, it's really amazing. he was big when he was born (9lb, 21.5 in); i have no idea what his length is now, but he's already in 3-6 month clothes and i think he'll outgrow the length in them in a month. poor thing will be swimming in 6-9 month clothes because of how long he is!
my fil was the worst with the "better go on a diet" jokes with k. the worst part is: he's a ped! i would assume he'd never say this sort of thing to a patient, but it made me SO ANGRY every time he did it.

[kris10s]

It's normal to get those stoopit comments. : Maybe someday people will get it...

[IncaMama]

taedareth - my dh has struggled with weight all of his life too...and we got the "like father like son" comments too...it's enfuriating and painful and rude as hell and i'm sorry they're doing it to you. the next time i really think you should say something. seriously. you don't have to be all directly confrontational..but say something like "it's such a shame that babies, who are born with no complexes about their size, learn to have them from society...i wish he cold stay as blissfully unaware of other people's hangups as he is right now." passive aggressive? HELL yeah.

[Spark]

nak great link:
http://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns...t-toomuch.html

[angela&avery]

my babies nursed and were both huge. Ds was 18 lbs at 4 mo.... and Dd was 19 lbs at 4 mo....22 lb at 6mo... so not quite as big, but still chunkers .

eta: they are no longer chunky. My dd leveled out a year old and barely grew for a year and was small. Now at 2 yrs she has gone from 24mo size (in the fall) to size 3 and 4's!!! They change, have growth spurts.

Both of my kids slimmed down once they started moving and paticularly so once they stopped nursing. I had a 2 year in my class that was still nursing, and she still had that baby chub..... you could tell when she started to wean bc she started to slim down...

[aisraeltax]

ds3 is the smallest of all my babies. my first 2 were huge! at 15, though, my ds1 is 6'2 and 180 (i think thats his weight). he was the MVP last year and captain of his basketball team...not overweight at all. Ds2 is very slim, although i did worry about him a lot for several years b/c of his father's bad eating habits.

i vote not to worry about babies' weight. when to worry? not sure...but not now.

[Panthira]

Oops!

[Panthira]

Well... I'm worried because my baby isn't fat at all, but extremely skinny and doesn't have those delicious fat rolls you all are talking about. I wonder if because of my gall bladder problems he isn't getting enough nutrients. He's also just barely fitting into 3-6 month outfits and can fit into a lot of newborn clothes still. I think he might be the smallest baby in the DDC at 10lbs, 3ozs, and now he's sick with an awful cold. I wish he had chub!

[IncaMama]

i hope all my talk about chunka chunk love hasn't made you feel insecure about your little man, panthira. "normal" is SUCH a wide range...10lbs 3oz doesn't sound tiny for 2.5mo at all! what were your other kids' sizes like? i know it must be hard to be on the other end of the scale as well and i truly hope that my comments haven't contributed to you feeling worried! but i feel equally passionate that you shouldn't let that kind of crap (other ppl's issues and these arbitrary "rules" of weight gain) get to you on that end either. there are *several* babies on another DID board i'm on that are around the same size as your son. i'm sure he's totally healthy...

[Panthira]

Nah, you didn't make me feel worse or anything. I've been feeling a little concerned about how small he is for awhile. Not highly concerned, but slightly worried. I was small as a baby, also in the 25th percentile, and so was my daughter (adjusted because she was a preemie). Owen, my 2 yr old, was there briefly but has been about 50%, or average, his whole short life. It's not really the chunkiness. He's kind of... how do I put it? He seems fragile to me. None of my other children seemed so fragile. Owen was a strong little bugger and wanted to stand from day one. Kayla, even though she was born early, she could kick the hell out of you when you changed her diaper. My first born 14 yr old son is strong and tough as nails even though he can't even sit up on his own.
Greyson is delicate. I think that's what worries me more. Maybe if he had some chub on him I wouldn't feel like any little thing could break him.

[DesireeH]

Jevin was huge too as a baby (Daph is pretty darn chunky too, but not as big as Jevin was.......yet). He hit the weight limit on his carseat (the bucket kind) as 3 months. He was 18-20 pounds during his 3rd month. I think he hit 30 pounds by a year.....well now he is 3.5 years old and he is SKINNY......35 lbs. I couldnt pay the kid to eat a full meal now. Everyone always told me if they are obese babies they will be obese kids. Whatever....there is no such thing as an exclusively bf "obese" baby. You get obese from cookies, pizza, mac n cheese......NOT BREASTMILK! My kids eat/ate (bm) every hour too.

[solstar]

My babies were both pretty chunky early on then they slimmed down as they got mobile and were FTT! Now one is average at 5 (but short) and the other is SKINNY at 8!

You just can't make anyone happy.