Protecting new baby from 2.5 yr old DS

[alison77]

New baby in the house and 2.5 yr old DS is excited. Unfortunately this means that he is trying to pull everything off of the baby, trying to pull on his hands, touch his face including putting his fingers in baby's eyes, and even jumping on baby. I am at my wit's end with this situation - I have tried to explain a million times how fragile baby is and how gentle we need to be with him, and still my DS is throwing himself on the baby. We have always used GD techniques, and with this situation I am not keeping calm. I feel terrible that I am yelling at DS to stop and that I am having to literally push him away to protect the baby. I feel worse when I think about how he is acting this way not out of resentment but because he's so excited and loves the baby. Any suggestions on how to deal with this situation in a better way??

[lauradoc]

When ds was born, our dd was 2.5 yrs old. I opted to hover over the baby and tolerate a certain amount of her *pawing* the baby because she too was SOOOOO excited about the baby, and I didn't want to discourage that. If I couldn't hover over the baby (to intercept the enthusiastic eyeball poking and carrying by the neck stuff) I toted ds around in a pouch until he was old enoough to yell for help if distressed. Unfortunately, he does not cooperate too well here, he fails to yell when I think she's a little rough but laughs and squeals in delight when she comes for him. My bottom line is that unless baby is at risk of being dropped from a height or having neck squeezed, some vigorous (supervised) affection from the sib is probably ok. JMO, : P

[calicokatt]

Even a 2.5 yr old can learn to change diapers, sponge the baby in the bath, put on little socks and hats, and otherwise help care for baby. I found with mine (and I have 4, so I have been there done that! ) that a little involvement and responsibility goes a long way. And don't forget that if you constantly stop him, and scold, he will soon resent the new sibling, rather than enjoying him. Good Luck!

Kathy

[georgia]

Ah, the mama lion instinct! Know it all too well

What best helped me was to keep the littlest one in the sling, up and away from danger, as much as humanly possible. Otherwise, she was just a target! When my youngest was a newborn, the former baby wasn't yet two, so it was quite a challenge keeping the exhuberance in check.

I tried to guide my toddler and older preschooler to areas of the baby that were sturdier, like kissing toes, giving baby their fingers to squeeze, putting them on sock patrol to look out for when baby might have lost a sock...ITA involvement goes a long way And try and be playful and silly as much as possible....I know it's tough in that newborn adjustment phase....

Something that also helped me enormously to regain some perspective was to niche out time alone w/my toddler so we could reconnect.

Best wishes and congratulations!

[bellona]

ITA that your 2.5 yo needs lots of hands on with the baby. Fortunately this is something you can direct with a little practice. He can help at bath time, with diaper changes, putting lotion on the baby, putting socks on the baby, bringing a blanket when the baby is cold and helping tuck it in, he can burp the baby....

There really is so much he can do that would be acceptable, and if he gets enough of this in he's apt to calm down a little. I wouldn't leave the baby down where he can get to him/her unless you are right there. I worked on teaching my older kids that the blanket the baby was on was off limits. I did still supervise, just in case, you know, but it helped alot. When baby was down on the floor they would lay right off the blanket and rub his back but wouldn't get on the blanket.

[Boobiemama]

I'm dealing with this now. Jack likes to say "eye" and poke his finger in Ruby's eye. lol
i do let him touch her, rock her in her carseat, as long as he isnt too rough. otherwise, i just keep a close eye out!!