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AP and twins - Page 2

post #21 of 23
I think baileybunch started one. My pics are in my siggy.
post #22 of 23
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by TripMom
IMHO - anyone parenting more than 1 kid has this issue. Clashing needs. Someone has to wait. Its a reality. Don't let anyone tell you that you aren't AP because your twin was crying while you finished his brothers bath? Parents of singleton siblings deal with it too.

Whoever said being AP meant you childrens needs were always met 100% of the time, on time? Its ludicrous - and its literally impossible if you have more than 1.

And as for crying - why is it all bad? Babies can't talk. Its how they communicate their emotions and feelings when they don't have words. My triplets cry every morning if I don't get breakfast fixed for them quick enough? DS cries when I put the baby locks on the kitchen cabinets so he won't pinch his fingers? I mean - its not all bad? Its normal. And even big kids with words use crying as a frequent method of expression (don't we all know it!). I would be way more worried if my kids just sat there docile to the world never showing any strong emotion . . . . .

Very good points. That puts things in a much better perspective, thanks.

Beautiful babes tripmom!
post #23 of 23
My dh has expressed this to me, and I get really irritated at him for it. Our ds has been much more high-needs than dd. Consequently, he ends up getting more sling time and boobie time. But, it doesn't make dd's needs any less important. I read a chapter in Karen Gromeda's "Mothering Multiples" that really helped me feel better. It said basically that twins are not equals. They are not one baby with two heads. They are siblings born at the same time. If they had been born seprately, they would still have to wait sometimes. They have different needs at different times (or sometimes the same time) and we meet them to the best of our ability. When Livie cries, I am there. I have actually learned to trust her much more than her brother in her ability to communicate her needs to me.

To me "AP" is a label that doesn't mean that we fill out the required "AP" shopping list. To me it means that I raise my kids as compassionately as I can, and part of that includes taking into accout my own needs and limitations. I push my babies in a stroller because my back is too sore to sling them together. I learned through my experiences tandem nursing my older dds, and accept that I am very sensitive to having babies physically attached to me 100% of time. So I supplement them with bottles which allows me a break when I most need it during the day. By prioritizing my own needs and selecting the ones that are most vital to my personal sanity, I feel that I am handling this whole twin thing much better than I had anticipated.
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