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16 children

post #1 of 1903
Thread Starter 
I saw a special on TLC last night about a family with 16 children`aged 17 to newborn. I have no idea how on earth the parents are able to remain sane.:

Here is their family website.
http://www.duggarfamily.com/

It's going to be airing again on March 19 at 1:00p
post #2 of 1903
My god!!! One 5 year old and a 5 month old baby drives me insane sometimes LOL. But 16? I would be in a nut house after 1 day lol. When my dad was a kid, the neigbor lady had 22 all about a year apart.
post #3 of 1903


This is the family that has the older children parent the younger children.

They're of a punitive parenting mindset and nursing lasts about five months so another child might be conceived.

Not very AP/NFL or GD.

Debra Baker
post #4 of 1903
Thread Starter 
I know! This morning I couldn't get dd t take a nap for anything and she was soooo crabby. I was thinking to myself, what would I do wth 15 other children!?!? Oh and did I mention she homeschools?

ETA - From what I have seen, I wouldn't say that the older children are parents. They definately help out a lot with the younger ones, but they are not the ones disciplining, teaching, setting the guidelines, etc.

Debra - where did you find the info about stopping bfing so early? I hadn't heard that before about them.
post #5 of 1903
Quote:
Originally Posted by DebraBaker


This is the family that has the older children parent the younger children.

They're of a punitive parenting mindset and nursing lasts about five months so another child might be conceived.

Not very AP/NFL or GD.

Debra Baker

My husband is one of 12. It is not a bad thing for sibs to help with their younger sibs. That is not "raising" them. I have only 3 and my oldest helps me with getting things for the baby, or watching him for a few minutes while I put clothes in the washer or go to the restroom.

Just because they are not GD or AP, does not mean they are abusive or bad parents. Sure, the spankings are not a good thing, but the kids seemed pretty happy and well-behaved. And not afraid of their parents, either.

Where on the show does it say she only nurses for 5 mos? I must have missed that. At least she does nurse. Some people do not even try.
post #6 of 1903
The point is, she doesn't do these things, *She* doesn't do all the homeschooling.

She has her daughters doing most of the cooking, cleaning, and wash.

They bathe, feed, dress, tuck-in the younger children.

At the risk of being nasty, study the social insects, she is like a queen ant or bee.

DB
post #7 of 1903
These kids do much more than a healthy, normal helping out around the house.

They have one (Perhaps some of them two) younger children as "buddies" and they do all the parenting.

Not-healthy.

DB
post #8 of 1903
Quote:
Originally Posted by DebraBaker
The point is, she doesn't do these things, *She* doesn't do all the homeschooling.

She has her daughters doing most of the cooking, cleaning, and wash.

They bathe, feed, dress, tuck-in the younger children.

At the risk of being nasty, study the social insects, she is like a queen ant or bee.

DB

I do not think you are nasty. You have your opinion. I also can see your point about the Queen Bee thing. I have to admit that I find her a bit annoying myself.
post #9 of 1903
I have eight children, so I believe I'm particularly sensitive about the typical weaknesses in large families.

Making the older children do too much is one of those things I indentified in large families that I didn't want to do to mine.

Deliberately giving up nursing to allow another child to be conceived that you hand over to an older sibling is odd at best. I know people who have done stuff like this. Difference is, most stop at six or nine, not 16 +. This family is politically well-connected and they get a lot of, ahem, support from their Arkansasian community which, I suppose, gives them more ability to continue begatting and bearing children.

Debra Baker
post #10 of 1903
*
post #11 of 1903
That has been in practice for centuries. Children work on the farm, cook, clean, wash clothes, milk the cows, harvest.
This is what we have our children "pretend play" what's wrong with them actually doing it?

I agree...I thought I had a hard time with a 2.5 yo and twin babes. I could not even imagine 16.
post #12 of 1903
Quote:
Originally Posted by redwolf2
That has been in practice for centuries. Children work on the farm, cook, clean, wash clothes, milk the cows, harvest.
This is what we have our children "pretend play" what's wrong with them actually doing it?
Lots of things have been in practice for century--spanking, burning children with coals so they stay away from the fireplace, denying education to girls. I don't think that past practice should in any way be an indicator for present usefulness.

I, as a mother, do these things for my children because I am their mother. If I were doing these things for children to whom I was not directly related, I would certainly expect to be paid. I am all for older children helping out with younger children and household chores, but I think it is more than obvious that this is not what's happening in this family. The older children are being forced to mother the younger children.
post #13 of 1903
Though I do think it was eerily *perfect*. She read 5 or 6 girls a story at bedtime and they just crawled in bed and went to sleep???? yeah right!

What do they do for a living? They had like 6 washers and 6dryers and an entire grocery store sized pantry.
post #14 of 1903
[QUOTE=annettemarie]Lots of things have been in practice for century--spanking, burning children with coals so they stay away from the fireplace, denying education to girls.

I would hardly compare the two. Kids nowadays don't have to do anything, especially in America. Doing house or farm chores can keep them better connected to the roots of human existence and the earth. Tending to the garden and the animals and washing and cooking are wonderful things for kids to do and they usually enjoy it!

Or... I guess she could sit them in front of the TV all day. :

Though I do think the older children raising the younger ones is a bit odd. But I'm sure she does do some raising of her children they do live in the same house. Older children having SOME responsibility with the younger is not that bad of a thing.
post #15 of 1903
Quote:
Originally Posted by redwolf2
Quote:
Originally Posted by annettemarie
Lots of things have been in practice for century--spanking, burning children with coals so they stay away from the fireplace, denying education to girls.
I would hardly compare the two. Kids nowadays don't have to do anything, especially in America.
That's a generalization. My children are certainly expected to participate in the daily routine around our house.

Quote:
Doing house or farm chores can keep them better connected to the roots of human existence and the earth. Tending to the garden and the animals and washing and cooking are wonderful things for kids to do and they usually enjoy it!
I don't think anyone has denied this. The problem is that her older children are raising the younger children. Have you read anything about her or her methods? I have, and they sound unpleasantly oppresive, to say the least.

Quote:
Though I do think the older children raising the younger ones is a bit odd. But I'm sure she does do some raising of her children they do live in the same house. Older children having SOME responsibility with the younger is not that bad of a thing.
Again, no one is denying that older siblings can help care for younger siblings. This is above and beyond that.
post #16 of 1903
I haven't read everyones response yet, but my dh was one of 14. I think its fine if you take the time and treat each kid with respect, my dh's parents were not supportive of their kids at all. The older kids took care of the enitre family, the mom was NEVER home, always at church and as the kids got jobs they supported the family as the dad could never keep a job. This isn't to say it can't be done properly, I know a few 8-10kid families that keep their priorities striaght. Gotta go, I could go on for pages...
post #17 of 1903
I don't think they are as bad as they are made out to be, but I don't think they are as good as they try to seem.

My butt hurts on this fence!!
post #18 of 1903
Quote:
Originally Posted by Irishmommy
I don't think they are as bad as they are made out to be, but I don't think they are as good as they try to seem.

My butt hurts on this fence!!
post #19 of 1903
I watched it. I dont know how you can be that organized with that amount of people. And they didnt say how long she nurses the kids(that I heard) but how could she concieve that many in that time frame if she was nursing longer? Yes, I know some people exclusively nurse and get pregnant early on, but for it to happen that many times?
post #20 of 1903
Quote:
Originally Posted by redwolf2
......

Or... I guess she could sit them in front of the TV all day. :

...
An interesting web site they have. They say they don't watch TV, just the occasional religious video. It would be nice if they posted pics of their new 7000 sq foot home (under construction in 2004).
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