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16 children - Page 80

post #1581 of 1903
Quote:
Originally Posted by numom499
Are mamas who put their kdis in daycare actually "parenting"? The duggars at least are in the same building all day long....
I notice you left out the dads.

Also, if your child is in school, who exactly is "parenting" them during school hours?
post #1582 of 1903
The main concern I have with the Duggar's style of parenting is pushing so much responsibility off on the older children while continuing to have children that they continue to push off on the older chilren, etc. etc. etc.

Daycare does not factor as an issue.

Debra Baker
post #1583 of 1903
Quote:
Originally Posted by cmd
I notice you left out the dads.

Also, if your child is in school, who exactly is "parenting" them during school hours?
That is my point exactly....

btw, i homeschool. but i am just pointing out that parents get help caring for their children all the time...
post #1584 of 1903
[QUOTE=cmd]I notice you left out the dads.

QUOTE]

because people here are harping on michelle duggar having someone else do her "gardening". just like daycare.
post #1585 of 1903
Quote:
Originally Posted by numom499
That is my point exactly....

btw, i homeschool. but i am just pointing out that parents get help caring for their children all the time...
"getting occasional help" and "providing regular care" are two different things. Anyone I get to care for my kid on a longterm basis is either an adult family member or a paid, adult care provider.

Not a fourteen-year old. While perhaps paying a fourteen-year-old is an acceptable choice for the occasional night out (and I'd question the wisdom of that for any kid below the age of two) it is NOT an acceptable alternative for full-time, ongoing care.

And certainly expecting a fourteen-year-old to parent my kid without any compensation at all strikes me as being a bit of an abuse of the kid's free labor. Call me crazy.
post #1586 of 1903
Quote:
Originally Posted by numom499

because people here are harping on michelle duggar having someone else do her "gardening". just like daycare.
I think your're missing the point. It's not the fact that the parents have help looking after their kids. It's the fact that they are relying too much on their *own kids* to do all the work.
Goodness knows most of us don't regard hiring help as some sort of failure. I think that child-labour is generally frowned upon though.
post #1587 of 1903
and i think you're missing the point. Everyone is acting like Michelle does no parenting of her older than 6 month olds.. That is what is so sannoying. Yes, the older kids help out. But Michelee is still there primary caregiver. People literally are acting like she does not do anything all day.
post #1588 of 1903
If the older kids were, "helping out," no one would be mentioning the parenting style. Those older kids are doing the vast majority of parenting one or two of their younger siblings, and the *mother* is, "helping out" upon occasion.

For the younger sibling, it is the "buddy," not one of the parents who bathes them and feeds them, and makes sure their teeth are brushed and night prayers are said. If Michelle does anything it is the exception. If the "Buddy" wants to go out (and I seriously doubt they get to go out,) *they* find a babysitter, perhaps they ask Michelle if she can babysit the little buddy, but, again, I seriously doubt they can even get an occasional break to go out on the town the way a real actual *parent* gets a night out with the girls, or boys, or date night with spouse.

This is problematic in my mind.

A far stretch from helping out.

DB
post #1589 of 1903
Quote:
Originally Posted by numom499
and i think you're missing the point. Everyone is acting like Michelle does no parenting of her older than 6 month olds.. That is what is so sannoying. Yes, the older kids help out. But Michelee is still there primary caregiver. People literally are acting like she does not do anything all day.
How can she be the primary caregiver and still maintain those bangs?
post #1590 of 1903
Quote:
Originally Posted by chersolly
How can she be the primary caregiver and still maintain those bangs?

so not the point. but kinda funny
post #1591 of 1903
Quote:
Originally Posted by chersolly
How can she be the primary caregiver and still maintain those bangs?
Hee.

Hey, where are the email responses to our burning questions, in any case? I thought someone was emailing them? Perhaps you should say you are a reporter and there's potentially big money in this for them, then they'd respond.
post #1592 of 1903
Quote:
Originally Posted by DebraBaker
For the younger sibling, it is the "buddy," not one of the parents who bathes them and feeds them, and makes sure their teeth are brushed and night prayers are said. If Michelle does anything it is the exception. If the "Buddy" wants to go out (and I seriously doubt they get to go out,) *they* find a babysitter, perhaps they ask Michelle if she can babysit the little buddy, but, again, I seriously doubt they can even get an occasional break to go out on the town the way a real actual *parent* gets a night out with the girls, or boys, or date night with spouse.

This is problematic in my mind.

A far stretch from helping out.

DB
Of course it may help these older children decide to wait to have children of their own since they'll know what they would be getting into... Hopefully they wouldn't decide to have children and give them to others to raise though.

I helped out a lot with my younger siblings (they are 5, 9.5, and 11.5 years younger than I am) so I knew what I was getting into when I had dd at a youngish age. My parents were still the parents though. I did do a lot of the cleaning, but I now know how to keep a cleaner house than my mom did.

I guess what I'm getting around to is that there's a fine line between enough and too much helping out with the house and younger siblings. The only people who know which side of the line the Duggars are on are the Duggars and people who know them IRL.

Then again, I haven't even seen the show But we all know how "realistic" reality TV is

love and peace.
post #1593 of 1903
goodbye thread, goodbye.
post #1594 of 1903
Duggar upates:

http://www.xanga.com/J3of14

Scroll down to Mar 12 (altho prev story is interesting: children taken by CPS for spoon "chastening"). Another Gothard family welcomes the world famous Duggars into their home during Duggar road trip.

and the dude ranch:

http://www.geronimoranch.com/additional/duggar.html

Can't quite make out if the J'girls are allowed to wear pants on horseback!
post #1595 of 1903
Do those people do anything without a camera crew?

Jim-bob=Media Whore.

And what's up with the Creighton family? Are they Gotharditic Pearlesque child beaters or are they innocent?

DB
post #1596 of 1903
from your link Debra



We found that despite their celebrity status, the Duggars are very friendly, transparent and gracious
post #1597 of 1903
numom, why did you say goodbye to the thread and then come back? Not that I'm not happy to see you!

BTW, I provided the links, not Debra.
post #1598 of 1903
I inadvertantly plagerized DaryLLL's gardening analogy, now I'm getting credit for her link.

numom, the saying bye-bye thing is sophomoric.

db
post #1599 of 1903
oops sorry, darryl

I was sayign goodbye because I thought the thread was dying

The funny thing about this entire thread, is that I bet we (meaning you , me angelbee, debra, etc) agree on so much more that we disagree. So I hope you weren't being facetious (sp?) when you said "not that I'm happy to see you". Because, truly, I am glad to be here, discussing all the issues I discuss here on MDC with mamas like "us". I wouldn't even broach this subject on babycenter for instance.

And darylll, I am always especially gald to see your posts
post #1600 of 1903
[QUOTE=DebraBakernumom, the saying bye-bye thing is sophomoric.

db[/QUOTE]

I know what sophomoric means, but I don't really get this sentence....
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