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16 children - Page 81

post #1601 of 1903
[QUOTE=DebraBakernumom, the saying bye-bye thing is sophomoric.


I know what sophomoric means, but I don't really get this sentence....
(do you mean, the thread wasn't really dying? - or do you mean I am immature to say goodbye to inanimate objects?)
post #1602 of 1903
thanks for the last links
I was a bit worried about the Creighton Family, I don't think that large families or homeschooling should be under that much suspicion---

this list has a life of it's own and I am not keeping up- this is the first I have read in maybe a week- and it is too long - unless I read everyday
so I will say good bye to the thread-
thanks for the conversation- lost of food for thought
post #1603 of 1903
I did not know they were Gothard peolple--kind of yikes! My husband was raised undr those teachings and he seroiusly rebelled and even left his parents church to attend another. His mom always says he saved the family because of that...he got them out of their Gothard-thinking ways. (I hope noone here follows them--I don't want to offend--I have serious issues with them because I have heard stories from my dh and best friend and they were abused under that system when they were raised in the same church and church school together)

The whole "buddy" thing. I don't think it's okay if the older one is always on call for the younger one. My mother would make me overly responsible for my younger siblings and I still think that was not fair to someone my age at the time.

They seem like loving people on camera, so I just hope that is what is happening behind the scenes too.
post #1604 of 1903
post #1605 of 1903
also, I just looked at the links....the family they visited is at least not matching their outfits...Maybe Mrs. D does that so they can see where their children are but still...I personally think it is important to let your children express their indviuality in a few ways...especially in a family that large.

I am glad they take their children traveling...It's good to see how othr people live IMO....Dh and I want to homeschool so we can do that when we want (dh is self-employed too!)

Just a practical question---how many kids can one have before the uterus gives out---our pastor's wife had 8 and then stopped because of health reasons..my mom had 5 and stopped because she was having hemmoraging issues.
post #1606 of 1903
I'm sure it varies, NCM.

I feel so bad for your dh and I am sure the Duggar kids are going through the same kind of abuse.
post #1607 of 1903
Originally Posted by numom499
goodbye thread, goodbye.
I thought I'd killed it!

I know a lady expecting her 13th and all but the first 3 were at home w/ a midwife (she's the reason I was comfortable w/ the idea of homebirth before I ever did any research).

love and peace.
post #1608 of 1903
I don't want you to think I am against large families, per se.

I know a lady who had 14 children. Her oldest is about my age, and her youngest was born in the late 1980's.

She was/is AP. Her youngest was born with Down Syndrom (she was in her late 40's) and she spent a lot of time living in the hospital when the baby had some congenital difficulites. She breastfed and coslept.

I know the daughter who has a large family, they are plain folk.

If they spank, it is very little because they are very gentle parents.

Debra Baker
post #1609 of 1903
wow....I came here tonight looking for threads on what I was watching on TLC and here they are...had to search for this though...just wanted to see if anybody else was discussing all the Duggar TV...BOY, are you!!

I just got here...after watching '14 children' awhile back and now '16 children' and the new house episodes just tonight...my thoughts have been this

--How sad is it that those girls talk about the new house's kitchen and laundry and how great of a benefit it will be to their lives? I mean, having your kids help out and learn to cook and everything is wonderful...but...um, a more 'normal' sort of comment might have been about decorating their bedroom or something. (read, expected from a teenager...I note in the house episode, they DID get to do some cool decorating...)

--ONE girl has 'laundry jurisdiction.' I'm sorry, but that seems entirely UNFAIR...if I had to delegate, it would rotate somehow, and YES the BOYS would have to do it too. SOMEDAY they are going to HAVE TO know how to wash their clothes. (I did see the MOM getting up in the night to change the laundry in the rental house with the one washer and dryer...good for her. what about all day though?)
Same with the kitchen, you always see the 2-3 oldest GIRLS in the kitchen. Where are the boys? There are at least 2 who are old enough to cook a meal (one's a twin of the girl, and the oldest) and at least 2-3 others that are old enough to help do some things. I understand having too many people in a kitchen can be a problem, BUT...I would have the boys involved too, and probably up to 4 of my kids, 1-2 younger and 1-2 older, depending on what was going on, sometimes anyway, so that they can learn. Heck my EIGHTEEN MONTH OLD was shaking spices into the flour for the fried chicken tonight!! but then, *I* was supervising my 18 month old, not a 14 year old, so I think that makes a difference...with the kids supervising, I'd say probably nobody under 8.

--The buddy system. I can totally understand it for some things, like maybe outings, there's NO WAY two adults could keep track of that many little kids!! I can even see having a system at mealtimes where each older kid helps one younger sibling serve themselves, cut up meat, etc. because there's NO WAY Mom would ever get to eat if they had to wait for her. But ALL THE TIME? I'm sorry, but my favorite time of day with my son is sleepy-time, seriously, God forbid I ever have so many children I can't tuck each one in at night!! (Literally, and the longer I'm a parent, the more I see how birth control pills affect me, the more I understand wanting to avoid artificial contraception methods. BUT...that's why we have this ability to use charts and breastfeed...I personally plan on using both of those methods to the best of my ability thanks. I understand some people might be fertile pretty fast even with full time nursing. I know even with just pumping and not as often as your typical baby probably eats, I didn't get AF back till I stopped when he was 6 months. I used the Pill for awhile after that, which I have since quit and am currently experiencing the reasons why I'll never go back on it.)

I DO think it's great to give your kids some responsibility. I think kids who grow up having some responsibility for younger siblings will have a better understanding of what responsibiility will go into being a parent. But NO WAY do I think *children* should be given the full adult responsibilities of parenting a child that they have not birthed or total charge of things like cooking and cleaning.

My mom was one of 6. They grew up very 'Little House' no running water, no electricity. Yeah, my mom had chores, one was dishes, another was gathering eggs, I'm sure she had to help with cleaning and laundry, but she worked alongside my grandmother on those things. THAT I agree with. Handing over total responsibility for daily meals, laundry, etc. to your child...no.

I think a lot of what the Duggars do is good, like seeing the entire family, girls too, working on the house, power tools and all. That's got to be an awesome feeling, living in a house YOU built. Giving them responsibility, yeah. It's just that I think they cross a line in the responsibility department.

*I* grew up ONE child....with brothers 20 years older than me. My parents had nobody else to worry about. I did things kind of as I felt like it when it came to laundry, cooking, I did have to clean my own room, but other than that, nothing. I will be doing things differently with my kids, as I want them to realize the work that goes into say, dinner. Laundry. I didn't appreciate anything my mom did till I was an adult, and I also didn't have really a clue about how to cook, do my own laundry, etc. I want them to not be clueless, but there's a difference between that and requiring that my kids cook lunch every day if they want to eat...if they WANT to, great. But it won't be REQUIRED. And if I had say, a 10 year old and a baby, I might ask my older one to watch the baby so I could say, shower. But watch the 3 year old all day? Comfort him when he cries? Brush his teeth? Bathe him? no. Not even if they were 17 or 18 and still in my house would I ask that of them daily. Why? THEY didn't choose to have the child, I did! period.

ok so I just admitted I obviously don't have a clue about the inner workings of a family with even TWO children, but I have to say...if you've got so many you're too busy to parent them all, you've got to delegate caregiving, what does that say?

Not to mention...when I asked my then-provider OBGYN about what would be good child spacing, she recommended not trying till Z was a year old as that would give *ME* a chance to recover--not just physically, but stores of vitamins that were likely depleted, etc. And that then the children would be about 2 years apart. That's someone talking from knowing what effect the birth process has on a woman...not a question I've asked my midwife yet, but I can't imagine her answer would differ much. I can't imagine what having 16 children, including 2 twin pregnancies, in the last 18 years (oldest is 17) has done to HER. The children don't look like it's had any effect on them, but from what I have learned, typically, the baby will take what it needs from the mom first, leaving the mom to suffer the effects if she's low on nutrients, etc.
and I don't know, I'm not at all educated on the 'quiverfull' concept, I'm not even Christian....BUT...if you wean in order to be able to conceive sooner, isn't that also a way to manipulate things in the baby-making department? Just a thought. Seems to go against the concept IMO...Just a thought/
post #1610 of 1903
OK I went back and read some random parts, NOT all 41 pages thanks...

Did anyone see they had 'future goals' or 'career aspirations' or something like that listed on the Raising 16 show for each kid? I think it's the oldest girl who wants to be a midwife. I thought that, along with the fact that the oldest 2 girls (the one who wants to be a MW and one other) were at the birth of their sister. She also had I think she said 3 homebirths? (don't ask me why she'd go back to a hospital!) Jinger mentioned being sad about the house getting torn down because she was born in a room downstairs. Now *that's* kinda cool....not that Jinger's sad, all the other stuff!!
hmmmm...must be allowed to think it if they're allowed to say it on national TV...

but I do think they have way too much responsibility for their ages and wonder how they'd ever get TIME to go get an education if they didn't leave home!!

and another thing I've wondered reading this thread...what's a gothardite?? I mean, I get the general gist of it I think, but who is this guy? I've heard of the Ezzos and Pearls but this is the first I've heard of anyone named Gothard...
post #1611 of 1903
melanie, they are in Arkansas, and state liscenced MWs aren't allowed to attend those. So that's probably why, if they did have a few HBs, they stopped b/c mom was "risked out", as we like to say.... But I think she talked about using the hospital MWs. Her last was attended by a doc. It was another VBAC!

I just saw the "Raising 16 Children" episode tonight--is that new? It was all during the construction of the new house, but w/ all the emphasis on the family and not the construction. And then they said "the family is going on a much-needed vacation and WE are invited too!" So that'll be the next show--The Dugger Family Vacation! And I'm sure TLC is footing the bill so that they can film it. If it's anything but a family road trip to the Grand Canyon or DC, then you'll know for sure they didn't pay for it!!

So was this a new episode or did it originally air before the "house" episode? I'm confused....
post #1612 of 1903
I thought we killed this thread.

post #1613 of 1903
Originally Posted by EmmaJean

I just saw the "Raising 16 Children" episode tonight--is that new?
"Raising 16 Kids" and "Moving In" were both originally broadcast about a month ago. I noticed they were on again yesterday.

The vacation show will be on in June. I think I read the 11th.

There were links posted above to blogs of people who met them on the road or saw them at Disneyland in March. They went to a dude ranch as well. There is a hint OfJimBob is already pg again. Of course.
post #1614 of 1903
I caught bits of both shows last night. I don't get Discovery Health. It was on Discovery. First time I know it was aired in my area.
post #1615 of 1903
Originally Posted by DaryLLL
There is a hint OfJimBob is already pg again. Of course.
What a shocker!! I knew she'd get preg. w/i minutes of sleeping in their new room! JB made the comment "Wow, w/ this new room, we'll have to start working on another baby!" And she smiled and laughed, and they were totally serious! So funny!!!

And wow, Disneyland and a dude ranch sound like fun. Can't imagine keeping track of all those kids though. They probably had to bring extra family members. That's what my bro and SIL did when they came to DC w/ their 6. Me and my dh, and my mom and dad were there to help, although they did do a couple days by themselves. 5 days, ALL DAY, "doing" DC. They have SOOOO much energy! I was pooped out on day 2!!

Hey, you've got the inside scoop, D!
post #1616 of 1903
She's like a Tribble on the original Star Trek series.

post #1617 of 1903
:rofl Db!!!
post #1618 of 1903
The thread is still going.
post #1619 of 1903
I don't think they are as bad as they are made out to be, but I don't think they are as good as they try to seem.

My butt hurts on this fence!!

That's funny!

However, this is closer to how I feel, although I am totally okay with to each their own and all that, that way of life is definitely not for me.
She's like a Tribble on the original Star Trek series.

post #1620 of 1903
Originally Posted by DebraBaker
She's like a Tribble on the original Star Trek series.

I have www.televisionwithoutpity.com to thank.
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