ok, here I go after reading the WHOLE freaking thing..
I know folks who do the quiverfull thing, and make the older ones raise the younger ones.
One family comes to mind in particular...they had a daughter, then four-ish yrs later another daughter, another daughter about 5 yrs later, then finally a son 5 yrs later, and a surprise girl 2 yrs aftere that.
By the time my friend, the oldest was early teens, she was so freaking burned out on caring for babies and cleaning house that she hated kids. Period.
she couldnt wait to move out, and literally left the day she turned 18.
The next day, her next youngest sister was moving into her old room, and they were moving the baby into her room . She was only 12. She was going to be responsible for that baby during the night from then on.
I do not see the rightness of the "buddy "system full time. In my own experience, forcing older kids to raise the younger ones creates Kids who hate kids.
I remember specific instances of this screaming 4 month old baby with colic being handed off to her oldest sister late at night, while mom and dad closed the door and got a good night's sleep. I took the baby and walked her for ages, until i guess the parents got embarrassed and came and took her.
Now, I DO believe that chores/responsibilty, help a child feel right in the home. makes them feel valuable, as part of a team.
I feel like children need to believe that they are invaluable to a familyunit. That without them things would not be as great. I want my kids to feel needed, wanted, loved, etc. Make sense?
Now...to the Duggars.....I already said I dont care for the buddy system imposed onthe older ones. Yes, asking one to grab someone to put shoes on, etc, is gonna happen. but dont make the big ones raise the lttle ones!
I dont see anything wrong with them choosing to have 16 kids...they are debt free, their kids look happy, they are obviously clean, fed, not abused, etc. I do wish that there was more evidence of mom and dad doing one on one time with the kids, rather than the group older siblings attention.
The food thing...well, I do know one qf familiy with 10 kids who manage to grow nearly all their food, and raise their own beef. also milk their own cows.
The mom works from daybreak until midnight, because she doesnt make the older ones raise the little ones, not much anyway.
And still......the effect of being the oldest of 10...her oldest daughter was so bitter by the time she was 15, she said she NEVER wanted kids. NEver wanted to marry. Left home, rebelled, found a guy, took birth control pills, is now nearly finished with her degree and is going into law. She has only recently begun tentative communication with her parents.
I will finish by saying I am qf....I can easily see myself with 4 or 5....but I cant make my brain stretch further than that.
my heart has been burdened lately with babies who need adoption..who knows if this is the direction the lord is pulling us in??
I guess that's it...i may remember something else later i wanted to say!