Originally Posted by Ann-Marita
I'm glad you are leaving that group! I would have been livid! Using a torchure technique on someone else's child?! Wow.
This may be semantics, but I wanted to post something about this...
SocialIZATION is the process of teaching children the family's (and culture's) values regarding social interaction. This is best done by the parents. Other three year olds can NOT teach your child anything about social skills. Parents who are right there saying "Be gentle" or "No throwing sand in your friends' eyes" or "Tell your friend goodbye" are the ones teaching the skills.
SocialIZING is spending time with friends. This is what many people mean when they ask about "socialization" for homeschoolers. And it sounds like this is what your DH is concerned about - your kids spending time playing with friends. And I sincerely hope that you can find a circle of friends to spend time with who share more values in common with your family. But I also want to point out that, at this time, your children are not asking for this. You said that they don't ask to go to group activities. They may not have a need (as yet) for lots of socializing. Or maybe even never - some kids, some people (like you) just don't need as much of that as others. And some never do like group stuff, and prefer to meet just one or a few friends for a playdate (maybe at a park), instead of the group days.
I'd say listen to your children (more than your husband), and follow their lead.
You're right, I was using them interchangably and I shouln't.
This is one of the main problems I have in trying to live noncoercively--I *know* they get bored if they do nothing but stay home with me day in and day out. When I suggest going somewhere, even just to the grocery store or something, they get exited. Before this incident, they were very exited about going to hs group. It isn't fair to them to keep them inside just because I don't want to be around people. But they don't ask to go out. They hardly ask for anything. I'm hoping it will get better as they get older. I'm trying to follow their lead as much as I can, but I think I also have to follow what they're *not* saying, you know?
Also, I can't really ignore my husband--he mostly leaves children-related decisions to me, but he does feel strongly about this (he's out socializing with them now, actually). I just get frustrated with how little support there is for our lifestyle.