Noone wants to play with dd at recess (x-posted with childhood years Forum) - Page 2

[gaialice]

Thanks for your post Jalilah,
I had a meeting with the teachers this morning. I have to say it was much better than the meeting with the principal. They appeared to understand dd's personality very well and that they have been able to work with her very well and she has learnt a lot from the programme. They said that they had had a follow up meeting with the class this morning and dd reported that this week dd was more successful finding playmates.
They think that the recess - the way it is - is actually a great opportunity for the children to use their imagination (role play) because they really do not have a lot of toys there at all. Apparently the kids do play well and are not bored. They agreed that they will help dd if she is bored/excluded by giving her and other kids toys etc. They agreed to coach her on using better vocabulary/better ways to interact. They agreed they will follow up on with the topic with more class meetings in the future.
They felt that making dd skip a grade so that she would be with kids older than her would not benefit her because she is in fact a bit late with her social skills and older kids resent that even more than her actual age group (she is kind of advanced from a purely academic standpoint) They say that next year she may in fact enjoy her role as natural leader (it will be her second year in the class if she stays on the normal course and does not grade skip). They will continue to adapt her assignments so that she will not get bored, even next year.
Basically, the options for changing school for next year are at this point nil. The only way I have is forward and I will continue to press on, by inviting the kids over, by talking to the teachers, by coaching dd at home...
Wish me luck.

[RiverSky]

Originally Posted by Flor

ONE HOUR UNSTRUCTURED RECESS???? In some ways that is cool, but in other ways it seems like all thekids would be beating on each other by the end of the time! When I taught first grade, recess was 20 minutes! Don't they need to be in class??? Why not just shorten the school day and let them go home?

One of the reasons I homeschool is that recess and lunches were so incredibly short. Now that we homeschool, our children play with their homeschooled friends a couple of times a week outside amongst trees or on playgrounds, beaches, etc., for hours at a time. I'd say that after three hours, we start to see evidence (extreme sensitivity, crying, fighting) that the children are tired (we hydrate and nourish them with healthy snacks throughout) but I think that being about to play unstructured for an hour is definitely a skill to be nurtured. Of course there needs to be adequate supervision and guidance for any skirmishes that do present themselves, but those can be used as teaching tools, I would think.

[gaialice]

Thanks Riversky that's an interesting perspective. It must be awesome to homeschool and give your kids this fantastic opportunities to play outside freely the way you do. It is true that at 5 dd is very much into imaginative play, role play, and you do not need a lot of space and or toys for that. I see that now she is getting very good at playing with her little sister so I hope the two of them can play with one another at recess. I am sure if they come up with the fun-filled games they play at home, some kids are bound to join in.....

[RiverSky]

Originally Posted by gaialice

Thanks Riversky that's an interesting perspective. It must be awesome to homeschool and give your kids this fantastic opportunities to play outside freely the way you do.

There really is no way I can use words to describe how wonderful it is. I just look at my children sometimes and think of how lucky they are, how fortunate I am that we stumbled upon this way of life and chose to embrace it (because it's so cool and I didn't realize that before), and how amazed I am constantly and how much my children are blossoming and growing and learning and loving to learn with this way of life. Thank you, Gaialice.

Originally Posted by gaialice

It is true that at 5 dd is very much into imaginative play, role play, and you do not need a lot of space and or toys for that. I see that now she is getting very good at playing with her little sister so I hope the two of them can play with one another at recess. I am sure if they come up with the fun-filled games they play at home, some kids are bound to join in.....

I truly believe that the majority of children naturally play imaginatively, it's when they are given too many specific role playing toys (television show characters, for instance, when they have seen the shows the characters are from) that they begin to lose that talent. Of course, just because they have those toys or watch those shows doesn't mean that they have no imagination, I'm not saying that. [noted to avoid future flaming posts based on that statement]

Hopefully your children will be fortunate enough to have recess together. I know at the school we used for a while, recess was staggered. A new class came to recess every five minutes, for fifteen minutes. There were three playgrounds, separated by fences, and catering to different age ranges (primarily). I visited for lunch and recess frequently (every week definitely) and there were only other kindergarteners at recess with my kindergartener. Other schools might have totally different set-ups, though.

Isn't it wonderful when your children really start to love and enjoy playing kindly and cooperatively together for long periods of time? It's amazing! I'm glad you are enjoying it.