Ruth I'm so sorry you're going through all of this. Another thought, you can probably find out about pregnancy a little sooner through a blood test. Do you have a midwife or doc that can write up a lab slip for you? You could then find out a few days sooner, that might ease the stress a little.
Also, if you love this guy, Ben, but he sucks in bed, I think you should tell him! Gently though, and not all at once. If you're in the midst of forepaly or whatever and he is doing something that you don't like or too roughly or whatever, you could give him some guidance, like, "You know what I really like...?" or "I like what you're doing, but could you just do it a little more gently?" I have had boyfriends that needed some teaching in the way to please me. I think all women are different, and it isn't so clear cut sometimes as pleasing a guy. So speak up for yourself!
And please, if you need us, post or pm or email or anything you need before you try to hurt yourself. I'm pretty sure I'm speaking for most of us here that say we would gladly offer you some support in any way we can. I'm glad you're going to spend time with your friend.