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It's going to be a beautiful spring! Please join! (Depression support) - Page 8

post #141 of 217
I'm doing OK. I'm on Long Island and the weather's been unpredictable- cold and rainy the last few days but before that it was really hot, and anyway I breathe (and sleep) better in the air conditioning because of my seasonal allergies.

I just started a new way of eating yesterday- my copy of Eat Fat Lose Fat finally arrived and I'm mostly following the plan in the book- no processed grains, lots of saturated fats, any grains or beans I eat are soaked before cooking. What I'm not doing is having all the coconut oil before meals as recomended- it made me sick to my stomach, but I am cooking with coconut oil and using coconut milk in breakfast smoothies. So far I'm feeling more energetic and more satisfied (so less snacking between meals) so we'll see what happens in the long term. I'm hoping I'll finally lose those extra 50 lbs I've been toting around!
post #142 of 217
Hey all! How is every one doing?


I've been OK, except for a few meltdowns. I have decided to supplement the meds with therapy and have an appointment for Wednesday. I'm very nervous. I've been to therapy so many times through my life and have always felt that I never really accomplished much. Right now, I am just feeling like the meds aren't enough. I'm afraid of rehashing everything again and having it all churn up again.
post #143 of 217
Therapy is such a crapshoot - I got really really lucky (not entirely luck - I had someone who knew practically every therapist in Indiana and Ohio get to know me then give me a really solid recommendation. of course, that was just luck, too! ) with my very first therapist, so I always think more positively of therapy than someone who's been burned. I did get so much out of my 3+ years of therapy that I do recommend sticking it out until you find someone good!

And yea, there were weeks when that was the least fun hour of the whole week, and weeks where I went "what is this supposed to be doing for me, again?", but they were more than balanced out by the weeks where I spent the next 6 days just trying to digest and learn as much as I could from that one hour, and it literally changed my life.

Do I sound like I'm bragging? Ugh, sorry. I think I'm just reminiscing - when I moved to Oregon (yay!) I moved away from my therapist (boo!) and I'm still missing him.

Me, I'm doing a bit better. I'm freaking out about an ASL assignment tonight, but not unreasonably so, so I think it's all OK. I'm trying to figure out a way to get some massage or acupuncture or something - I really need at least one regular self-care activity to help me stay balanced.

How was everyone's Mother's Day? (she asks wistfully - I was supposed to be pregnant by now, dangit. the best laid plans, and all that...)
post #144 of 217
You might want to look into CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) - it's a little more pragmatic and done in conjunction with biofeedback training, is very very useful and helpful.
post #145 of 217
Thread Starter 
Our mother's day was pretty good - laid back. I got to sleep until noon, then we hung out and watched home videos of my daughter as a baby because she wanted to see them, then we headed over to my grandmother's house for dinner, since it is also her birthday on Tuesday. Then I got to dump the kids on DH (who took them home and put them to bed) and hung out at my parents house with my brother and watch the survivor finale and grey's anatomy. Very nice.

I've decided I have to start turning around my eating and exercise habits. I ran into a post about sparkpeople.com and decided to give it a try. I'm taking it easy, decided I would do a 5/2 diet - monday through friday I will do my best to be 'good', do a little exercise each day, etc and on the weekends I won't sweat it. Considering how terrible I was eating before and how I wasn't exercising at all, this should be a big improvement.
post #146 of 217
Ugh- I'm not doing well right now.

I saw my therapist this morning and made an appt for next week. All I feel like doing right now is climbing into bed and staying there for about a week.
post #147 of 217
Aw, Ruth. I could spout all kind of glib one liners like "this too shall pass" and some of them even manage to not piss me off when I'm feeling like crap, but really the best thing I can offer you is to be here and listen. You will survive, and whatever you're able to do right now, is, right now, good enough.

My therapist did CBT, although not labelled as such (that is, he didn't say "I am a cognitive behavior therapist, and now we will practice cognitive behavioral therapy!"), and I agree, it definitely is great - much more useful in my opinion than Freudian psychoanalysis!

Sounds like an awesome day, mightymoo. Part of our backyard is shared by a family with at least a couple kids (and a huge trampoline!), and yesterday they had a TON of kids over, having a huge party, and I kept thinking "OK, I know one doesn't become a mother without the children, but boy, that better be a barbeque with all the dads and kids outside and the moms lounging on the couch being pampered inside!"
post #148 of 217


I can't say enough positive stuff about sparkpeople.com It's wonderful!
post #149 of 217
Hi.. My first post on this thread..

I just went to the dr. today and she is changing my meds. Hopefully this one will work a little better.. I'm supposed to start it tomorrow.

My DS(4 yr. old) walked up to me in the kitchen y'day and said "mommy, don't be sad".. I told him I wasn't sad.. I guess he's been noticing that I have been sad lately. Stuff w/dh and where we are living is really getting to me. We have a beautiful home and everything, but it's an hour from people I know and an hour and 40 min. from dh's job, which means we don't do anything together. DS and I are going to FL next month(only 22 more days!) w/my parents. We'll be seeing my sister, BIL and their 3 kids and doing family pictures. I figure I'll try to super-impose a pic. of my dh in there and make it look like he's actually part of my family.... Excuse my while I...
post #150 of 217
Aw, Janice! What a horrible situation!! Is there anything you can do?? 3+ hours of commute a day is NOT COOL! (As you well know.) Geez!

Keep us updated, hon. We're here for you.
post #151 of 217
Thanks.. We're currently getting our house ready to sell, but seeing as there are 3-4 other houses on our small street alone that are also for sale(plus the the other dozen or so in our subdivision), I'm not exactly hopeful that it'll sell soon. But as soon as it sells we're moving closer to dh's work again. we lived there from 2001-03 and then bought a house here b/c the houses there were way to expensive. We didn't realize how aweful it would be here though. Boring, nearest Target is 50 min. away. Nothing for kids to do. Thankfully I did find an awesome day/care preschool that my DS goes to in the mornings. We got very lucky w/the preschool.

Yeah, the commute is killing poor dh. He sits all day at work too, so he's too sore to sit by the time he gets home. He actually bought a laptop so he can lay on the bed and work ont he computer. Poor guy.. And with gas being $3.49 here, UGH... It's slightly cheaper a half hour down the road..

sorry, didn't mean to complain so much....
post #152 of 217
Thread Starter 
Ruthla

mommy2cias - We are in a similar situation - DH takes 90 minutes to get to work and home in the evening, so he isn't home until late. We moved across country to be closer to my family and unfortunately we just can't afford (and don't want to compromise on size / yard) to live closer to DH's work, but at least I live in the same town as my parents. The plan for us is to have DH look for a closer job in a year or two.

Just because your house is one of a bunch on the market doesn't mean that it can't sell first - if you want it to sell quickly, price it right and get it looking as good as possible. As my parents always say (both realtors) pristine always sells fast, no matter the market.

I am down a bit today. While I was up changing DS's diaper, DD figured out how to open the protective flap on my minidv cassettes and pulled the tape out of two of them. I don't even know what's was on them (they aren't labelled) but I know they are from the last year. I'm just devestated thinking she destroyed video of DS as a newborn. I was just hysterical when I found her - I have a terrible long term memory, so pictures and videos are very important to me. DD felt terrible I could tell.
post #153 of 217
Just checking in to see how everyone is doing. The weather here has gone from sunny to grey and rainy, which doesn't really help.

I did go to the therapist yesterday. Seems like it will be good. She referred me for a medication eval with a psychiatrist.

I feel like I'm taking all these steps in the right direction, between starting a job and seeking out addition mental health support and already planning things for the summer.

I hope everyone else is seeing things in a positive light, too.
post #154 of 217
I'm feeling OK today. It's kind of scary how my moods can swing so quickly.
post #155 of 217
Ruthla, relish the direction of this swing!


vamp127, you seem to be doing a lot to strenghthen yourself. Get lots of sun and exercise, sleep and water.

mightymoo and mommy2ciaswe have the same problem with commute. DH works in Boston, we live in western MA. Don't know what I'm complaining about, as he;'s not commuting right now.
post #156 of 217
It didn't last long red. I was doing great until the kids came home from school and started bickering with each other.
post #157 of 217
Ruth, do you have any signs of bipolar, or are you pretty much "just" depressive?

Me, I'm bipolar, so I can't think in terms of "up=good, down=bad", but rather "stable=good, unstable or anxious=bad". Up is just as dangerous as down for me, and it's more the tempermental mood changes/swings that are warning signs for me.

Anyway, my dad, who has end-stage liver disease and is on a transplant list almost got a liver last night, but it fell through last minute, so, once again (DP was out of town the night before), my sleep was majorly disturbed, which is one of my major triggers.

On the other hand, I'm really feeling the love and support from a lot of people, including this thread, so I think I'm doing OK.

s for everyone!
post #158 of 217
When I talked to the therapist the other day, she told me that almost no one is solely depressed. Almost all people with depression also suffer from anxiety. It's kind of strange, because I was actually accepting the "anxious" parts of life as my "normal." Now I guess I was wrong.

I wonder what normal feels like . . .


I know about that commut thing, too, mamas. DH has a sales territory that is huge. There are days that he drives a total of 12 hours (both ways) just to make one sales call. Then when he comes home, he's got a couple of hours of computer work to do.

This job I started seems to be going well. I'm in the training phase and I haven't gotten any feedback yet, though.

:
post #159 of 217
Interesting that several of us have dh's that work long hours. When my dh is in town, he works regular hours and sometimes can even meet me and ds for coffee during the day. But, he travels 2 weeks (work weeks, not weekends) of every month, so I'm single mom nearly half the time. Honestly, we've gotten to a place where it's easier when he's gone. It takes us a few days to transition when he gets back. OTOH, since I had shoulder surgery a month ago, he's been home all but one week and it's been great!!!

Well, I'm doing well and I'm kind of nervous about it. Only you ladies can understand that. I'm bipolar, too, but only type II, so my mania's aren't horribly damaging to anyone but me. I've taken on a huge amount of responsibility and so far my head is above water!!! I had to do some major planning earlier this evening and had been trying to do it all day, but ds was having a really needy, chatty day. I just flipped out at my family...yelled at them all to give me some freaking peace! I apologized later, but that doesn't make up for it. I wish I knew how to take the peace I need before I end up demanding it so angrily.

Anyway, I think those stress freak-outs are pretty typical, even for people who don't struggle with mental illness. At least that's what I'm telling myself. It's okay to feel good. That is, stable. It's okay to feel like I'm capable of taking on responsibility. I'm trying to remind myself that there is a balance between manic promises and regular, normal, capable promises. I THINK I'm in the second kind right now.

Ruthla, can you remind me about how your depression is being treated? Are you seeing someone? Are you getting the help you need?
post #160 of 217
"normal" people do freak out when the pressure and stress in their lives increases. Most people have a least one episode of depression - triggered by something traumatic.

Lets not compare, own and accept the feelings. We are truly ok.

peace
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