Well, I havent really posted on these threads so i guess I should introduce myself..
I have a long depression history, dating back to about age 9, and have been on and off about every med on the earth. I hate being on meds but I guess I really need them. I weaned myself off meds (Zoloft and BuSpar) before my wedding, against doctor's advice, but felt great until right after my son was born, 2 years later.
I had pretty serious PPD until finally my husband convinced me to go see my internist in January, and she started me on Lexapro. I told her I was bfing and wasn't planning on weaning anytime soon, and she was totally supportive. I am feeling better on the meds, despite my guilt at being on pills again. I worked very hard to get off the meds before, went thru withdrawl really badly, and was so happy to be drug-free. But my doc said that even if I was doing great, that having a baby is such a monumental change in your life both physically and emotionally that it can sometimes knock you off-kilter, and you need something to help get you back on track and it doesnt mean you've failed at being off the meds. That made me feel a little better.
Has anyone felt guilt over needing to take meds?
I am really trying to take every day as it comes - and not worry about the next day, or next week, or next year. My mom is seriously ill (most likely terminal) and its hard to focus on getting thru the day when I am worrying about her so much - she's so dear to me. But my sister pointed out that I am grieving her before she's gone - which is true. And I can't really be doing that. So I am really trying to focus on my son, and on things i enjoy - like baking, reading to my son, and visiting with my mom and sisters.
I seem to always get depressed in the fall, which is strange because autumn is my favorite season. But most of my depressions have begun in October or November. I dont feel like it is SAD, but who knows..
Well, babe woke up. so... take care, everyone.