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It's going to be a beautiful spring! Please join! (Depression support) - Page 5

post #81 of 217
Thread Starter 
Okay, I'm just going to post to this thread and quickly and then go to bed because I'm up too late already!

Vamp - yuk about MIL - don't write off therapy for it though - sometimes just having someone to vent to is nice! (and its always tough to vent to DH about his own parents, kwim?)

Lousli - cool about the therapist! It's so nice when you can find someone you feel comfortable with right away!

Ruthla - my sympathy on the kid sitaution - I am not looking forward to that part of having older children! I don't have real experience to offer except to say you might just leave them on their own to figure out they have to pull their own weight - tell them you aren't going to wash any more laundry until the clean stuff they have is put away, etc?

Oh and a little side rant - does anyone else every mention to people IRL conversations on message boards? AKA - 'I was reading this thread about blah and I found this interesting, etc'? I made a comment like that to my brother's girlfriend the other day and I saw a distinct 'get a life' look on her face which just made me depressed - damn, its not my fault I have no friends IRL I just moved here and I have two babies, how am I supposed to meet people? Okay, just had to get that out.

BED BED BED BED BED (I miss the hammering on the head smiley)
post #82 of 217
Where are the smilies?

Ruthla, take the book with a grain of salt! It was written a long time ago and the authors' philosophy has changed slightly. Eg. There is a chapter on spanking. If I remember right the entire chapter is 1 or 2 paragraphs long. They no longer approve of spanking under any circumstances. One of the children referred to in the book is now the guy who seems to be in charge of the whole thing and was the lead writer on most of their newer stuff. The books are alive and well, but under a different publisher now. Here is the website. Someone from the institute comes to our town every couple years to do a class at the public school. I can't say enough good stuff about it. I don't want to push it, either.

MightyMoo, I rarely share with my IRL friends anything from my online life. But, they see the value and depth of these relationships when I leave for my annual camping trip with a couple families I've been posting with for 8 years.
post #83 of 217
Hi ruth,

It'll be easier to follow through on consequences once the routine is established. I like to use the word "guidelines" as opposed to "rules". My dd knows that she is supposed to contribute to the care of the household. I also give her a small allowance for setting the table, making her lunch, helping with dinner (she snaps the beans, and does easy cutting). however, she is only 8 and I anticipate a lot more resistance as she nears the teen years.

Enjoy Passover

mazel tov
post #84 of 217
Lousli, it sounds like you've made a good connection with the therapist. It seems promising that she doesn't want to rush into anything without getting to know you first and letting you have a say.

Well, I had my interviews. And I already found out about the online teaching job . . .

I got it!!!!! (Insert happy dancing carrot here) LOL

I'll be starting training to get used to the computer system and then I'll be up and running with 2 classes. It seems like a really great opportunity in that I can do my dream career without woh. Since the dc are used to me spending hours on the computer for school as a student, very little will change. And I'll get paid for it.

Now I just need to wait for an answer from the library. That's not a paying job, it's to be a Trustee. I think it would be a great opportunity to get involved in the community in a way that I could actually contribute something.

Things are looking up! And my mil will choke on her words when I tell her as FIL has been a guest instructor at their local college. Now I will technically outrank him. LOL
post #85 of 217
Vamp! Congrats on the new job! How did you find it? It sounds great. I'll cross my fingers for you on the library job.
post #86 of 217
Congrats on the new job vamp!!

I did a lot of Passover shopping today- it's the last day DS had school before vacation, so I wanted to get stuff done ALONE!!!! We'll see what things are like this afternoon when the girls get home. I'm feeling pretty good about the way I handled things so far- I told them I'd reconsider the sleeping arrangements after we've given this a try for about a month, but they have to give it until then. I was also very calm about the TV stuff- they spent too much time watching, I deleted their stuff- ok, that's it.

Bus is here! gotta go!
post #87 of 217
Congratulations, Vamp!!! That's great!!!

Ruthla, sounds like you did a great job!
post #88 of 217
I'm leaving pretty soon to see my therapist. I'm really glad because today was horrible. I guess I had expectations about what I wanted to do today but didn't voice them, so they didn't happen. The baby napped (on my lap with my boob in her mouth) for a couple hours, which felt like it was my only down time all day, even though it is dh's day off. Not that he didn't help with the kids, he did. But i just wanted to do something fun today, and it didn't happen. i don't know what's going on with the baby, she seems grumpy all the time lately. I know she's getting teeth, but she is worse than she has ever been about teeth before.

Ugh, sorry to vent. I really could go on forever, so i think I should sign off before I end up writing a novel,

Hopefully we'll get some better weather here soon and everyone will cheer up a bit...
post #89 of 217
s Lousli, you'll have to let us know how it goes at the therapist's.
post #90 of 217
Well, on the plus side, I am not imagining it, I am depressed. On the down side, after two visits, she feels that I should think about antidepressants. I'm not totally opposed to medication, and I really don't know much about it. I don't know if she's jumping the gun, or if they really could help me...I'm left feeling confused and nervous about taking a whole new leap right now. I'll keep you posted.
post #91 of 217
It is scary to start taking meds. I always worried I'd be a zombie but what happened was I actually felt like *me* for the first time in a long time. I was on Prozac for 10 years non-stop. I just in the past 6 months stopped taking it and am doing great. But let me assure you,if it ever gets bad again,and it was REAL bad,I won't hesitate to take meds.
This is coming from a woman who is serious about good nutrition,no vaxes,etc. I don't go to a doc for anything unless I can't fix it myself. Same for my kids and husband. The point I'm trying to make Lousli is please don't suffer when you don't have to.
I take a B vitamin and try very hard to stay away from refined sugars and caffeine. Sugar and caffeine are the WORST for anxiety and depression.
post #92 of 217
Thanks mama. I can't tell you all how much this thread, and all of MDC, have helped through everything I've been dealing with. My dh and I have been talking about the meds, and I have still to decide. He is really supportive no matter what i choose to do. I'll lyk.
post #93 of 217
Thread Starter 
vamp - congratulations!!!

Lousli - I agree with oldermamato5. I think that because some psychiatric drugs do really alter state of mind / personality a lot of people think the SSRIs are the same. I remember having a depressed friend I told about how prozac helped me and he was concerned about that sort of thing - changing personality being a zombie, etc. I was only on prozac, so I can't speak for everything definitively (the other SSRIs work similarly tho), but I never felt any different - I just didn't get depressed. I've taken xanax for anxiety and ritilan for ADD and I could feel the effects of both shortly after popping the pill, not so with prozac. The difference was just that amazingly I couldn't get as depressed as I was before, even when my behavior and thought patterns were driving me there. It was like it put a floor on my depression - I couldn't go down into the hole anymore, which gave me the opportunity to work on those behaviors and remove them so that later I could go off the drug and stay happy. Naturally I have my ups and downs since (motherhood really threw a wrench in there) then but it was a big part of getting better.

Another thing to consider for everyone is getting off of any hormonal birth control. I've never considered being on traditional birth control because I cannot rely on my ability to take a pill everyday, I'm just too forgetful. So I asked about those other new fangled methods (and there are so many now) but my doctor recommended that since I've been diagnosed with depression I not do any of the other methods like the shot or the patch, etc as they have a risk of depression. I decided to stay away from all hormone based birth control to keep that risk down - anyway, I just thought of that and wanted to mention if you are on hormone based birth control research and consider trying a non-hormone approach and see if that helps your depression.

Things have been going well for me lately - I think this thread has helped a lot. Just keeping up with it, reading everyone else's posts and adding some of my own has helped me stay aware of my moods and behavior patterns and not let them take me down. Also I've been so busy there has hardly been any time to be depressed! This weekend is crazy too - My daughter's birthday is Monday, so my MIL & FIL, BIL & SIL, nephew, niece and SIL mother are all coming into town to celebrate that and easter, so we are housing half at my new house (which we haven't even moved into) and the other half at my mom's house). And I gotta figure out how to bake a froggy cake for DD's birthday (she requested one).
post #94 of 217
Thanks for the thoughts and suggestions. I actually have an appointment to get an IUD in about a week. I decided that the pill might be adding to things, and it was time to stop.

With the meds, my concerns aren't really about altering my personality. They are mainly breastfeeding, changes in libido, other side effects, and that I might have to take them forever, which sounds unappealing. But since I'm not really doing so great on my own, I think it is time to look into it.
post #95 of 217
Lousli,those are very important reasons and be sure to tell your doc that those symptoms are not acceptable for you. Especially the nursing. Prozac did alter my libido negatively but the depression was much worse.
Blessings to you mamas
post #96 of 217
I only took the pill for a short time, but it really affected my mood. I would just cry for no reason out of nowhere. It was alarming when it happened at work one day. I've never been on it since! We used NFP and accidentally conceived 2 and purposely conceived 1 that way. After #3 I wasn't willing to play at that anymore, so I was planning to get an IUD. Then, dh got a vasectomy and I didn't have to.

I really like Celexa/Lexapro because it's much like prozac without the libido side-effects (I've been on prozac, too). I felt really tired for about a month and then I felt great. I took it for 2 years. I only quit it because my dr. seemed to think it was triggering rapid cycling (I typed "rabid" It sure felt like that!). My ds was nursing for a year of those 2 years.
post #97 of 217
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by CherylAnn
I really like Celexa/Lexapro because it's much like prozac without the libido side-effects (I've been on prozac, too). I felt really tired for about a month and then I felt great. I took it for 2 years. I only quit it because my dr. seemed to think it was triggering rapid cycling (I typed "rabid" It sure felt like that!). My ds was nursing for a year of those 2 years.
Funny, pregnancy & nursing has a much worse effect on my libido than prozac. I never noticed anything like that with prozac but man I have none while nursing!
post #98 of 217
Yeah, I suppose if your libido is already gone, it wouldn't make a difference. I was used to a satisfying and active sex-life with dh, and I lost the satisfying part of it...which led to not wanting to be so active.
post #99 of 217
Lousli-I had many of the same concerns before I started on meds (zoloft) and after talking with my doc decided to try it. Wow--I feel like a new improved me (most of the time). It's not a miracle cure, but it has certainly made a difference.

Now if I could only find a pill that cancels out the effects of ils . . .

The ils are visiting for easter and haven't even been here 24 hours yet. They are driving me nuts. Just lots of little things that DH thinks I'm overreacting to, but I can't seem to help it. About an hour ago, we were supposed to go out for dinner with me driving. The ILs couldn't restrain themselves from criticizing my driving and fear that I would hit their beloved bmw while getting out of the driveway. I put the car in park and got out telling them to go without me. I have an excellent driving record and was paying close attention to what I was doing. Like would I really want to damage my own car? It was just the straw that broke the camels back.
post #100 of 217
I've found that Prozac lowers my libido, but for me it's a good thing. I've never yet been in a relationship with a man who could keep up with me. It was frustrating when I first went on it and was unable to climax though- it felt like orgasm was one of my tools for dealing with depression and the drug took it away. It took me a while to realize that, seeing how I was single, it was OK to want that less often (and get a little less use out of my brand new "adult toys" than I'd planned on.)

Anyway, my 2+ years of celibacy is over. Things have been warming up with my ex (my DDs' dad) for a while, and I invited him to stay over for the first 3 days of Passover. We managed to find some time alone after the kids were asleep and....... I was prepared for this, I had a box of condoms in the dresser next to the bed. I still have an unopened box of condoms in the dresser next to the bed. I think I should call my GYN and get fitted for a diaphram or cervical cap.
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