Well, I'm a little nervous. I really feel that we are doing the right thing by doing a HBAC and we have a fantastic midwife. But, I also never thought with dd that I would have ended up with a c either. She was breech and in my eyes...not a good reason for a c, but at the hospital I was told I had no choice. Even though I hadn't even started laboring yet.
With her, I was so prepared mentally and physically and was so sure that I could do it. (labor and birth) That it's really put a ?? in my mind this time and I'm afraid to get too positive. I was so crushed and let down last time. I really don't want to feel that way again.
All that said, my husband is so encouraging and supportive, and so is my sister (that will be here for the birth), as well as the midwife. I have a great support team. And have done everything that I know to do to be as positive and ready as possible while still being realistic too. There are some days that I feel stronger and more certain that I can do this than others. Then there are days that I wonder if I really have the strength in me to do something so huge!
But, overall...I feel my body was designed to do this and God would not have put that desire so passionately in my heart and helped me find such a great midwife if I would never get to experience it. So, I try to take comfort in that...and really leave it in His hands and not obsess over the little things. Like, " Oh my gosh...I can't tell how the baby's laying. What if it's chin isn't tucked now."
Dumb stuff ilke that.