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'Fess up - what children's books make you groan? - Page 5

post #81 of 169
"Wacky Wednesday" drives me nuts. My mom had it at her house but the kids always wanted her to read it to them and it was driving her crazy so she gave it to them to bring home! Thanks mom.

My MIL has a book called Cyril and the Dinner Party which really bugs me. It's about a boy who discovers that he can change people into things and changes all his adult relatives into weird things like a clock, a seal, etc. And he changes his mother into a "terrible smell" which is the part that drives me the craziest!

Also The Berenstein Bears. To write a Bears book, just come up with some shortcoming (whining, eating too much, watching too much TV) and make the cubs and Papa do it. Mama is perfect. The cubs change their ways pretty quickly, Papa always has the hardest time changing. Every single book is like this! (Although I do have to admit I kind of like the Too Much Vacation book because that is exactly how my DH is on vacation!)
post #82 of 169
It's funny this thread is here. Just last week i decided to banish all the books I hate. I've been hiding them, waiting for a moment to sneak them off to the thrift shop. Today ds was happily playing so I put some in a bag, well ds knew something was up, came over and pulled out Richard Scarry's Mother Goose and made me read it to him. Yuck, there's a rhyme in there about having a wife who cooks and cleans and brings him ale while he sits around.
I have to say since I've put away all the ones I hate reading is so much more fun because I know he's not going to pick out any torture books. The one's I can't stand have pretty much already been mentioned here. Berenstain Bears, Clifford, Rainbow Fish, Curious George.
post #83 of 169
Quote:
Originally Posted by loraxc
Speaking of lines like "blow me," we have had a hard time reading our beautifully illustrated copy of "The Owl and the Pussycat" with a straight face. "Oh lovely pussy....oh pussy, my love....what a beautiful pussy you are, you are!"
OMG,LMAO! We have a few older books that refer to cat's as pussy, and I always substitute it with kitty.
post #84 of 169
DS also has a Little Einstein alphabet book with photos of real paintings used to illustrate the letters. Each letter also has a question or two about the painting. "A" is for angel. That's cool...but one of the questions is, "What is different about you and the angel?" Um, the angel is DEAD, how 'bout that? What a stupid question!
post #85 of 169
I love "Go Dog, Go". It was the first ever book that my ds would sit through and also request, so it's a sentimental favorite. I also like 'Goodnight, Moon". I like that it is nice and short, and that ds can participate in reading it, and I think it is sweet to say goodnight to all the objects in the room and outside. However, Margaret Wise Brown has a companion book to that one called "My World", and it is truly dull.

As far as books I hate: Sesame Street books, Berenstain Bears (especially the annoying "A Book", "B Book", etc. I am not really fond of Dr. Suess, again because they are sooooooo looooooong. One of ds's current favorites is "If I Ran the Zoo", and there are parts which make me uncomfortable because they portray using guns and force to capture animals to take to the zoo. However, ds thinks that all the funny, strange animals with the silly names are totally hilarious, so he requests this book a lot. He loves to play around with words, so Suess is big in his life. I don't like Curious George because they are again so long and dull. But ds loves those too. Oh well. Most of the books that I buy because of their good writing, funny story-lines, and great illustrations lie unchosen on his bookshelf.
post #86 of 169
Quote:
Originally Posted by Laurel
However, Margaret Wise Brown has a companion book to that one called "My World", and it is truly dull.
:

Very disappointing (Good Night Moon is my fav., not matter what y'all say )
post #87 of 169
Have any of you read "Julius"? It was a fav of mine as a child and I was appalled when I read it to ds one day (The only day I EVER read it). Capturing an animal with guns for the circus and all the animals are DISAPPOINTED not to be chosen and keeping the animals in small cages with bars, not to mention the lovely brown skinned porters and the white guys in pith helmets. Ugh. I was very disturbed.

I also hate the Sesame Street golden books. But I really don't like any book written in dialog balloons. My kids are 4 and 1, if I don't point it out they have no idea who is talking. It makes the books seem weird and nonsensical
post #88 of 169
Quote:
Originally Posted by flyingspaghettimama
Agreed with PP about I love you forever ...dude, if your mom is coming over to your house with a ladder on her car so she can crawl in your marital window and rock you to sleep...you got bigger problems than your taxes are late or the dog needs walkies. Big, big problems.
Yep, that's the part that lost me. Psycho stalker mommy creeping along in the dead of night to crawl into her son's window. And if that wasn't bad enough, then we've got her death to deal with. I have never had such a violent negative reaction to a children's book.
post #89 of 169
I love you forever creeps me out b/c dh's mom IS REALLY LIKE THAT

It's UBER CREEPY

I like goodnight moon :

I just threw out all the "condensed disney movie in to book" when we moved and the kids were at my moms
I hated them, and we had tons, we even had several of the same book :
post #90 of 169
I got "guess how much I love you" in a baby gift basket and i can't stand it. That one will be going away soon, i hope. Its just too nutty for me.
There's also this book my DS LOVES called "Some things go together", and it is rhymes like "Franks with beans, kings with queens".. and thats the whole book. I cant stand it - i think that one is going in the Goodwill box.
I can't stand the Curious George books, any disney books, the new Pooh stories where C. Robin is all modern and bratty, and any tv-related books.

I also love Goodnight Moon. My son pulls it off the shelf every night before bed.



On the topic of good books,
I love the books Wakeity Wake , Tumble me tumbly, The Pea Pod Babies, and Yum tummy Tickly by Karen Baicker, with pictures by Sam Williams. The rhymes are silly but fun to say, and my toddler loves the different sounds the language makes. Sam Williams does the most beautiful watercolor-and-pencil drawings, and my son loves the drawings of the babies. Simple, but lovely.
post #91 of 169
Quote:
Originally Posted by nonnymoose
The Runaway Bunny:
"If you become the wind and blow me, I'll..."
Yeah. I skip the "blow me" part.

Glad I'm not the only one who does that! My DH always tells me I'm a sicko...
post #92 of 169
I really can't stand Once Upon a Potty. I hate the terms she uses for Prudence's parts, pee and poop, and the fact that it's written in first person from the mother's point of view.

Also, thanks to that book we now have to wave goodbye to everyone's poop before it gets flushed. Yes everyone's. Argh.
post #93 of 169
Quote:
Originally Posted by Llyra
Maybe I'm just weird, or my sense of humor is broken, but I really don't like Sandra Boynton. I like the Going to Bed Book okay, but I can't get into any of the others. They just don't tickle my funny bone.
This book really bugs me. Why do they take a bath ... and THEN exercise AFTER?
post #94 of 169
This has been a really interesting thread to read, because I work in the children's section at a bookstore once a week. I'll have to take a look at some of these books for myself and see what I think. It's always nice to know what to avoid when people ask for recommendations.

I have read "I Love You Forever" before just to see what the big fuss was about, and I totally agree with you all. That was just weird.

I am really conflicted about the Berenstein Bears. I grew up with a lot of these books & I still have them. On one hand, I know if I hadn't, I probably would not like them now at all. Too preachy for sure. On the other hand... it's definately very nostalgic for me. I loved them as a kid, and looking back I have no idea why, but I did.

As for us... we do not get anything with licensed characters in it. They all bug me. Working at the bookstore I hear SO many kids *only* want to look at books with such-n-such character. I think Thomas the Tank Engine takes the cake. What a way to kill imagination. It seems to largely be the cause a lot of tantrums, too.
post #95 of 169
Quote:
Originally Posted by bjorker
I think Thomas the Tank Engine takes the cake. What a way to kill imagination. It seems to largely be the cause a lot of tantrums, too.
What's wrong with anthropomorphised trains? Oh, right. Everything.

Thomas has special "tantrum powers" that only children can sense. Thomas wants to be your friend. If you buy this book/game/train/track/merchandising tie-in, Thomas and Edward will be your friends. Why won't mommy let you be Thomas' friend? Mommy must hate Thomas. What a mean mommy you have, little boy...she must not know how badly you want it...
post #96 of 169
Wacky Wednesday bothers the poo out of me too! My son is 2.5, there's no way he gets that book and yet he still begs to read it.

And Babar, I lurved Babar as a child but when I finally pulled it out to read to DS I was bothered by it and my sister finally figured it out.... Babar is a gigolo! He goes and lives with an old lady who buys him clothes, takes him out to dinner, supports him, and they :ahem: 'excercise' together. And Babar's Mama dies- enough said.

We have a dachsund so Pretzel is very popular here. It has a wonderful plot about how you give people gifts so they love you, stalk them when they don't return your affection, and if you save their life they'll marry you.

I hate Thomas the train. I am beseiged by relatives who think DS cannot live without it. Ewww!
post #97 of 169
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweeney
I lurved Babar as a child but when I finally pulled it out to read to DS I was bothered by it and my sister finally figured it out.... Babar is a gigolo! He goes and lives with an old lady who buys him clothes, takes him out to dinner, supports him, and they :ahem: 'excercise' together. And Babar's Mama dies- enough said.
post #98 of 169
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweeney

We have a dachsund so Pretzel is very popular here. It has a wonderful plot about how you give people gifts so they love you, stalk them when they don't return your affection, and if you save their life they'll marry you.
I LOVE Pretzel. I spent years looking for it because I remembered from when I was 5 and checked it out all the time, but then was lost from the library. My baby loves it too.

I really don't like the dr. Suess stuff. I think it is mostly the art that bugs me. It always has, but it seems that everyone in my life always loves it. One of those things that always makes me wonder why I am so out of sinc.

One Barenstien Bears book I like is the Big Honey Hunt. The dad and little bear go on a big search for honey and in the end, after many mishaps, have to buy some honey. I guess I like it 'cause it is fairly long, but my baby liked it from the time he was 3 months old. It has always had a sort of magical effect on him, and I like that it allowed me to introduce reading to him so young (a lot of other stuff he wouldn't sit through.)
post #99 of 169
Quote:
Originally Posted by flyingspaghettimama
What's wrong with anthropomorphised trains? Oh, right. Everything.

Thomas has special "tantrum powers" that only children can sense. Thomas wants to be your friend. If you buy this book/game/train/track/merchandising tie-in, Thomas and Edward will be your friends. Why won't mommy let you be Thomas' friend? Mommy must hate Thomas. What a mean mommy you have, little boy...she must not know how badly you want it...
You always have such a way of cracking me up, spaghetti lady.

Sad part is... you're right. DOH.
post #100 of 169
Chicka chicka boom boom, hands down.
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