WOHM: mother, employee, spouse/partner

[MamaDeLiana]

Valentine's Day has always been low-key for me, but this past one made me reflect on the three roles I'm juggling. I've been feeling that my roles as mother and employee are getting most of my time and energy, and I have little left to give to DH. He's been great about it, but I'm feeling inadequate. Do other of you WOHMs feel the same way? Does it get easier (or harder) as your children age?

Although I can't imagine fitting it in, I sometimes wonder if allowing myself a little "me" time to recharge might actually help me have more energy for DH. Although he's plenty busy as a SAHD who also handles many of the household responsibilities, he gets plenty of "me" time by staying up long after DD and I are in bed.

[singermom]

Sounds like we might be in the same boat--defintely hard to juggle being a mother, having a job/career and remembering that you have a husband/partner as well. And if you've noticed that there's a disparity in the amount you give to each, I think you are on your way to fixing the problem. At least that is what it has been for us.

Since we've been parents, my dh and I have been using Valentine's Day to focus more on our role as a team in parenting our girls. This is especially important for my dh, who was married before, and never experienced anything like that in his first marriage. When one or the other of us gets down about not having enough time to spend with each other, we are usually pretty quick to boost the other one up and work out some way to be together.

I am a big proponent of "Me time" in theory, but always fret about taking it because I am away from my girls all day. If you are going to program it in, make it something that is so compelling you won't stress so much about being away. For me, it's singing, and I am right now trying to decide if I am going to re-join my choir next month. On the one hand, it means another bottle to pump for dd#2, and she gets enough of them during the week. On the other hand, it is so physically and mentally therapeutic for me to sing for 2 hours every week, I am pretty sure it will be worth it. Whatever you do, do NOT take "me time" to do the laundry or pay bills. That just leads to arguments. Believe me, I know.

Not sure I answered your questions, but hope this helped.

[Quirky]

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