I think all the fears stated here are justified. Esp for your first time birthers, its the fear of the unknown and for the repeaters its the fear of what you know!
I think that horrid book "what to expect.." that came out about 20 years ago and was the "bible" of birthing for so many years since it was handed out in obs offices, some insurance companies send it to you, plus friends and sisters passing it on to their expecting friends have reaked havoc on birthing in general.
Even though you may or may not have read it, it really gives a scary persona to birth and baby life with its follow up titles and it is ingrained in so many heads now, its normal to share "birthing horror stories" as we have talked about in the past. I mean how many of us have gotten gory details about another mama's birth and she didn't talk about that beautiful baby she got as a result? I remember reading that when expecting dd1 since my sil passed it on to me and it listed things about this and that plus had chapters on what could go wrong and man it can get the wheels turning! I ended up throwing it in the garbage about week 20 or so
The birth I just had with MAggie was nothing like I wanted and scary for the most part- but I got my Maggie and it may be a rollar coaster but I won't trade her for anything! I think if things worked differently, I would have my baby panic attack right in the next few weeks- when you think in your head "wait a minute, this baby has to come out!"
The only thing I can suggest is try to talk to different mamas who will tell you all the wonderful things about the birth or read some birth stories on this website to help you. Even the births that turn out differently than planned there are many wonderful things that happen.
Also one of the great things about breast feeding is the hormones running thru mama as she produces milk. It helps her to heal and view things positively- kind of like me right now
so that should help. But if you're worried about feeling overwelmed after the birth and you have every right to feel that way, talk to your m/w ob about ppd concerns now and your partner as well so you both can look for signs after the baby comes.