Addressing the Special Needs of Gifted Children, #8 - Page 9

[ChristaN]

Thank you for the links. From what I understand, they are meeting their legal obligation by asking the teachers to differentiate the curricula or push the high ability kids harder as well as providing limited "enrichment oppotunities," i.e. a few hours of TAG enrichment per quarter. It may meet the legal requirements, but it doesn't meet the actual need. I don't know, maybe parents of disabled kids are running into the same problem and are as frustrated as I am.

I have already sent an email to another mom whose kids I know are gifted to see if she wants to request a meeting w/ the superintendent with me (it sounds like he's the one with the philosophical opposition). I left a message for another mom although she is pulling her kid from the school they are at next year, she is sending her to another school (charter) within the district. I'm wracking my brain to think of other parents of truly gifted kids who can join me in my crusade ! From what the TAG teacher says, there are probably only 5-10 kids at most at their current school with abilities in the range of dds'. Most of the TAG program is populated by high achieving relatively bright kids, but not truly gifted kids. For those kids, what they are offering may very well be enough.

[eilonwy]

Originally Posted by ChristaN

From what the TAG teacher says, there are probably only 5-10 kids at most at their current school with abilities in the range of dds'. Most of the TAG program is populated by high achieving relatively bright kids, but not truly gifted kids. For those kids, what they are offering may very well be enough.

It doesn't matter; put up signs at the library inviting parents of gifted children to a meeting. The more people who come, the better, regardless of the abilities of their children.

[darien]

Originally Posted by nini2033a

This whole episode just renewed my resolve that I need to homeschool him. If I have him home and learning like this for another year before kindergarten, what will happen if I try to stick him in a normal kindergarten class? They will want me to medicate him to keep him in his seat while he is waiting for the others to finish their work....
What do you all do????

If you can, homeschool!

I am a (former) kindergarten teacher at an "accelerated" school. My ds was one of the kids for whom the first grade curriculum just wasn't enough. No one ever asked me to medicate him-- thank goodness!-- but he spent most of his kindergarten year playing with toys and waiting for everyone else to finish working.

He had fun, but I don't think the experience was good for him. He started to get the idea that learning is always effortless and quick, that he should already know everything, and that after 5 minutes of "work," you get to play!

Now we homeschool, and I'd never go back. No school can tailor learning to the child like homeschooling can.

[mamaverdi]

Good luck! The school sounds awesome. I would play it by ear with the school and dd. They might not notice anything ...ya know...

I wish we could find something like that for the Dragon. Homeschooling is not going well.

mv

[eilonwy]

Britishmum, I'm inclined to agree with you-- I'd want to have the meeting before school starts. I have very negative feelings about schools overall, though, so I have to say that it's because I just don't trust them to serve the needs of any children, especially "quirky" ones. It probably has a lot more to do with the way that I feel about schools in general than anything else, so feel free to take my opinion with a hefty dose of salt.

I'm feeling almost human today (kenahara!!). I'm hoping that things continue on a good path. If I can get rid of this UTI and the thrush which is developing, I think I might be a whole person by the time the weather is consistantly decent. Mike and I will have to spend some time doing major housework, because I'm absolutely set on having a big yard sale this year and getting rid of stuff... and then we can get back onto a schedule. Hooray!

And now for something completely different...

Bella is not like her brother or her sister. Okay, I know that's obvious, each child is unique... but she is really definately different. I asked Mike if he'd noticed anything about her and he had. My mother also noticed it and said, basically, that there was absolutely nothing to be done at this point if what I am thinking is in fact the case, so I shouldn't worry about it and should simply continue to be her mommy. Here's the deal: Bella does not look at faces. Rather, she looks at faces but she doesn't make eye contact consistantly and she prefers to look at stationary objects rather than moving ones. When she's nursing or snuggling, she'll look at a window (understandable, especially when the window is bright) or at something brightly colored, but she'll also look at a plain white wall or cieling rather than at me. She kind of glances over people, rather than looking at them. I'm not sure if this is normal or not, but I've got a nagging feeling that it's not quite typical. Most babies look at human faces for longer than anything else.

I think that if she looked at us, but without the deep, penetrating, "I'm remembering every line of your face for later" gaze that BeanBean and BooBah had, I could deal with that, but she seems to actually avoid looking at people and making eye contact. I feel like it's a stupid thing for me to have noticed, that perhaps I'm making too much of a fuss about it (in my own head) because my first two really had exceptional attention spans and would stare intently into your eyes from birth. On the other hand, maybe being aware at this very, very early stage will help me later on... I don't know. I'm probably just paranoid, right? Please tell me I'm just paranoid and odd...

[nini2033a]

Originally Posted by eilonwy

Please tell me I'm just paranoid and odd...

You are just paranoid and odd!!!
She is what, still under 2 weeks old right, well she may well be looking at something else, but at that age it is normal and I know I am somewhat strange and odd, but I for one am sure that at that age, children are still able to see things we as adults can't see anymore. My oldest, (now 17) used to until she was 2 or almost 3 even talk to the angels. She would stare at the corner of the room at my Moms house and hold mummbled under her breath conversations. If you asked her about it then, she would she wouldn't say anything, but later on she said she was talking to Oma (who died 2 years before she was born).
Ok, granted, she does have very mild aspergers, but she is also quite gifted and will be able to lead a very sucessful life on her own if we can ever get her over her tendency to burn down the kitchen when she tries to cook.... she may need to always eat fast food or sandwiches....

[ChristaN]

I honestly can't recall how much my kids looked at me at that age -- sorry! However, I can't imagine that good eye contact and studying others' faces is a normal expectation for a newborn. I did just click on her photo in your signature and OMG what a beautiful baby she is! Give it a lot more time before you get yourself too worried!

I do think that I was fortunate that my two kids developed on almost exactly the same time schedule (first word, sitting up, walking, small motor skills...) so I didn't worry and compare the differences too much since the differences were small.

[ChristaN]

I just found the coolest site for math! I am still working on getting dd (7.5 y/o) interested in math after her bad first grade experience. This is designed for middle school/jr. high students, but I think that dd can do some of the activities. I know that most of your kids are young, but I thought that it might interest some of you too (especially those of you with older kids). It has a bunch of analytical reasoning-math activities to print out and do. They are based on that TV show Numb3rs. So here it is: http://www.cbs.com/primetime/numb3rs...tivities.shtml

Enjoy

[catgirl]

Originally Posted by eilonwy

. Here's the deal: Bella does not look at faces. Rather, she looks at faces but she doesn't make eye contact consistantly and she prefers to look at stationary objects rather than moving ones. When she's nursing or snuggling, she'll look at a window (understandable, especially when the window is bright) or at something brightly colored, but she'll also look at a plain white wall or cieling rather than at me.

DS spent a lot of time staring at the side of my face and the corner of the ceiling at 2 weeks old. So did lots of other babies on my BB - my feeling was that he was just looking at stuff that had interesting contrasts (I have dark hair so my hairline was a black/white contrast), like those red/black/white toys you can get for newborns. Within a very short time he was focusing better and then he was very interactive.

[eilonwy]

Originally Posted by ChristaN

I just found the coolest site for math!

Neat! I bet ChibiChibi (8.5) would love that! Thanks!

Okay, so I'm feeling more like I'm probably overreacting to something very normal, but not enough to completely let it slide, if you know what I mean. I think I'm just going to watch her a bit more carefully than I otherwise might. It can't hurt anything to watch, right?

[nini2033a]

Of course it can't hurt to watch, and she is beautiful, easy to watch. But you have beautiful children, and if the first 2 are anything to go by, you do that very well. You both create and raise them quite well. Relax and enjoy the miracle in your arms. She looks perfect. Give her a little time to start to focus, just keep talking and singing to her, let her get accustomed to the new world she has arrived in. She will make a wonderful adjustment.
Nini

[loraxc]

Rynna, I can't remember what Froglet was doing wrt eye contact at 2 weeks, either...but I do know their vision is very poor still, right? She's so new still...and I wonder if it's possible that you're misinterpreting because your first two were so extraordinary, KWIM?

Thought I'd mention, though, that I have heard of something called the "head-tilt test" that supposedly can detect Asperger's very early.

http://www.psychiatry24x7.com/news/d...=e0728392.3iw0

Also, I have this in my big old folder for some reason--probably because we have had (and still do have) occasional worries about Froglet and ASD. It's very interesting.

Movement analysis in infancy may be useful for early diagnosis of autism

http://www.pubmedcentral.nih.gov/art...gi?artid=25000

[Daffodil]

Rynna, when my babies were that age, they never looked at anything at all - because they hadn't been born yet! Bella was about 3 weeks early, right? That means she's actually more than a month younger than Lindy was when she was 2 weeks old. So you probably should wait a few weeks before you allow yourself to worry even a little bit.

[allgirls]

Rynna~Daffodil makes a good point. Also just wanted to add...Martina had me worried too in exactly the same way. Plus she slept so much....I was concerned about her lack of eye contact with me. But she has completely turned around now..she will make great eye contact now but doesn't often..she is so into what's going on around her...well I am boring..until I leave the room of course But my concern is all melting away.

I also have to add..she is incredibly beautiful...there is a picture of your son holding her where she is intently looking at his face..I think maybe you should go look at that one. It's beautiful. And she is staring intently into his eyes. Maybe she isn't as into you as teh others were because there are so many other faces to see...she may just have other interests right now. Your family is much busier now.

How are you feeling? I hope your postpartum is going well.

Well Sophia has reached another milestone..she printed her name by herself. She finally learned S and P which I had to help her with. She was so proud of herself..I tried to scan it but couldnt' get our new scanner working. She promptly turned over the paper and printed "POP" on the other side.

She is trying so hard to learn to read and is getting very frustrated. She is trying phonics and isn't getting it. Should I just start showing her sight words so she can have some success? She seems to be doing the 'sounding out" thing but doesn't quite get how it works...I can't believe how mad she gets at herself..hits herself in the head. She thinks she should be able to do this now Her intensity and anxiety scares me sometimes..she is so hard on herself. I haven't really started on the BOB books with her but I think I will start. I think she needs some success before she completely shuts down about reading.

Ok..so potty learning..all these smart kids...Sophia is totally resisting it...she does #2 in potty 100% but #1 is not coming. Any tips?

better go do something

cheers

[eilonwy]

BeanBean was only a few days "older" than Bella at birth, though; he was 37w3d, and I was in labor for 4.5 days with him so there was a heck of a lot more birth trauma to deal with.

Those articles are fascinating... BizzyBug did so many of those things!! I distinctly remember, for example, that she didn't move her head to keep it aligned with her body when she was tilted. She held herself in very rigid positions, couldn't sit unassisted at 8 months, couldn't roll over on her own, couldn't get into a good position to crawl and once she did (after therapy) she had to be shown how to move... she progressed very rapidly with physical therapy, but she really had to be taught to do all of those things, she just couldn't figure it out on her own. Truly fascinating!

Bella's movements don't strike me as particularly abnormal, only "immature;" for example, she doesn't curl up the way that properly-baked babies do, instead she kind of stretches her arms and legs out like a preemie. She only curls up when I "fold" her up for swaddling and/or slinging. She seems a little bit "old" to do these things, in my mind, but not so much so that I'd classify it as extremely abnormal.

My mother brought up an interesting point yesterday-- she doesn't think that Bella can see very well, if at all. That would make sense, and it's definately worth investigating. Mike is the only person in his family who does not wear glasses, but they've got nothing on my family-- my mother is blind as a bat without her glasses, and my sister as well. My mother, for example, could not pass a vision test to get a driver's license in this state, and everyone who ever has to be on the road should be greatful for the fact that she's never tried to drive. She has no peripheral vision on the left side at all, and her depth perception sucks. At any rate, if Bella's got a vision problem, it would explain her complete lack of focus and it could potentially be something fixable.

[KC in KS]

Originally Posted by darien

subbing.


I have a question... anyone have "easy" or "mellow" gifted kids? A good friend told me recently she thinks her dd2 isn't as smart as her dd1-- partly because dd2 is not nearly as tempermental as dd1!

I wanted to refute her idea that gifted=high need, but I couldn't come up with an example! My kids are high-need poster children. I know lots of bright, easygoing kids, but once I thought about it, I realized that the more gifted kids I know do seem to be some combo of intense/sensitive/needy (above "normal" amounts).

Anyone want to be my proof?

All right, your question made me jump in here, though DD (18 months) isn't showing clear signs of anything yet. However, my sister and I are the proof you need.

I was a classic "easy" child. Compliant to a fault, if an adult merely hinted at the way things ought to be, I took it to be Law. Never rocked the boat. I also tested highly gifted (Mom refused to tell me the number, just said it was high enough to invalidate the test scoring system )

My sister is four years younger. My parents always swore if she'd been born first she would have been an only child. She was born with her arms and legs crossed defiantly, as in "you can't make me (come out)" and that's pretty well been her life's motto. Very, very self-driven and highly motivated, she constantly pushed herself to keep up with me - hard enough with a four year age gap, but doubly hard when you realize she tested as merely "bright". She said once her proudest accomplishment in school is when she got a higher grade than I did in calculus.

So there you have it. One honest to goodness piece of anecdotal evidance that giftedness does not always equal high needs.

[loraxc]

Rynnna, I was actually wondering if her vision could be an issue, but I didn't want to presume anything. It's worth checking out, anyway, if you feel this persists.

[Henry's_Mamma]

Originally Posted by allgirls

Ok..so potty learning..all these smart kids...Sophia is totally resisting it...she does #2 in potty 100% but #1 is not coming. Any tips?

Potty learning? What's that? I'm not sure how old your dd is, but ds, 29 months, would be physically capable of being trained -- knows when he poops, stays dry overnight and through nap, etc., but he's stubborn as a mule and refuses (for me at least) to use the potty. We're kind of going with it for now (mostly b/c I'm too tired to push the issue while preg.), but I'm thinking that we may have some serious nakey time all summer until he gets it. Thankfully, we have wood floors so I don't have to worry about messes on carpet.

[mamaverdi]

I hope you figure it out Rynna, whatever it is. Fixable is good.

mv

[bellona]

I'm so psyched about this discussion! I read about it in the homeschooling forum...I never even thought to look here because so many people don't think that gifted kids have special needs. I haven't read anything yet, but I suppose I should intro myself.

My 6yo is pretty gifted in science and math...especially math. Some subjects he knows about are cubed/squared numbers, scientific notation, fractions, percentages....he doesn't read or write though. Not that he can't...he's been able to do both for a couple of years now, he just doesn't. I haven't pushed it because I figure it will come, right? But honestly it does bother me a bit. I've been trying to encourage it in subtle ways. He's reading alot more on video games. Too bad we have to limit them or he gets a major attitude. I'm hoping to get him to write a note to my sister soon. Oh, and he's a major whiz at chess.

My 4 1/2yo dd isn't really into math in the way he is. Though she's been figuring out addition, subtraction and multiplication all on her own lately . But that's to be expected at her age I guess. But she is so good at art. Well, yk, it's all relative...she's no Monet...yet, but I could see her there in 10 years She draws all kinds of things...not just to draw, but to learn to draw. I know it's not really considered gifted (they test reasoning and logic, right?), but I couldn't leave her out.

And if I'm going to talk about her, I have to mention the baby. He's 19mo and he is such a good talker already. The week of his 1st birthday I counted up all the words I could think of that he could say and it was about 60. Now he talks so much better than before...he must be able to say a couple hundred words. And he puts them together in 3-4 word chains. Also, something that kinda freaked me out (another thing that wouldn't be considered gifted in the official sense) is that he was able to hum a tune by the time he was about 4 or 5 mo old. When he plays the piano he doesn't bang like most kids, he plays it in a melodious way. We had some friends over who were banging and he got REALLY mad.

I love gifted groups. It's the only place I feel like I can be proud and share what my kids are like because people aren't offended by it.