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Originally Posted by alegna
It depends on your personality. I didn't have a doula and didn't miss her at all. A doula would have been in the way and distracting to me.
-Angela |
After having my first in the hospital I was scared to death to ever give birth in a hospital again. And I'm a NICU nurse, so like the L&D nurse poster earlier I see all the worst case scenarios. And that just cemented it in my mind that home was the only place to be for the rest of my births. Before I could find my midwife I was petrified of facing the hospital again, I just knew if I ever went there in labor again they would screw everything up again. If I was home for my first birth it would have been wonderful but the nurses at the hospital made it hell. They pushed an epidural on me telling me my baby would die from my "stress hormones" if I didn't relax and wouldn't let me out of bed- which is what I wanted more than anything else in the world during labor- so I was squirming, writhing in pain. This after my OB told me he was totally supportive of me having a low/no intervention and LeBoyer birth. Ha. Right. Anyway, I'm getting off topic here the memories just always come back.
I think you need to talk to a midwife in person. I can almost guarantee that you will come out of such an interview feeling so much better. And if you don't you need to talk to a different midwife. Obviously you have been doing alot of research into it so you know mentally it is safer, I just think you need to talk to an IRL midwife. Having a homebirth midwife is identical to going to a freestanding birthing center (well IMO it's even safer) since they would have the same equipment at both places. My midwife brought with her an oxygen tank, meds, IV stuff, everything she would have at the birthing center she used to work at. So if you would feel comfortable at a birth center you ought feel safe at home, you know?
But for me, personally, yes I was afraid at times. But of birth in general. I was mostly afraid of the potential pain. Then I would remind myself of how much worse that pain would be at a hospital under the stress of the whole thing and in a cold unfamiliar room. Trying to fight for my rights in the middle of labor? Um, no thanks! Then I would also think about how much more dangerous it would be for my baby at the hospital since they would be so much more likely to do stupid things like break my water early, give me IV fluid, try to use forceps, etc, etc, etc. The hospital is like a madhouse. A circus. I see it first hand three days a week and no thank you. Never.
and getting an experienced doula. I've had 2 complication free hb's and one baby was born posterior. my midwife was AMAZING,my doula had been at a birth 2 weeks before and the womans baby was also posterior and she had a c-section,the doctor would not even attemp to let her push the baby out..
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) is great! my mother would call me on the phone crying because she thought i was going to die during the homebirth. i gave her this book, she read it, and she came around! i really think it's all about the positive birth stories. in our culture, people love to spread the dread when it comes to birth.
