(x-post) In the closet homebirth - Page 2

[grace's voice]

You are lucky!
People here in Seattle can't even grasp the concept of not getting induced, and not wanting an epidural... I usually don't even get a chance to mention homebirth. And I swear if I hear another person exclaim, "WOW, you're doing it 'au natural'!!!?" I'm gonna hurt someone! "Natural" it what bith IS, they're the one's putting a jaded twist on it! Sorry mini rant

[mama_at_home]

That surprises me! I would have thought of Seattle as being super crunchy.

[Peppamint]

Originally Posted by grace's voice

"Natural" it what bith IS, they're the one's putting a jaded twist on it! Sorry mini rant

:

[Lynski]

We haven't told many people, and we'll stay mostly in the closet. I figure I can be an advocate after the fact, without filling the next 3 months with anxiety and lectures. I did tell my friends and they are accepting and happy for me, as I would expect of them. DH told his sister, but she thought he was joking so he didn't push it. : My stepmother nearly had a cow when I said we were talking to a midwife, never mind the fact that the birth wouldn't be *at a hospital.* But she's a nurse, so I don't expect much different from her. I'm sure she'll be upset after the fact, but by then it will be over and done with!

[AnneCordelia]

*coming out of lurkerdom*

I agree with all the previous posters...depends on how much flack you're willing to deal with and how unsupportive you think your family will be.

With my first, we planned a homebirth but had to transfer to hospital for complications. My IL's weren't supportive of homebirth in the first place, so I thought for sure that they'd say, "SEE! We told you something would go wrong!" but instead, they said that they were very impressed with the midwife's skill to know when to transfer.

My next birth was a successful homebirth with full support of my IL's.

Once you've done it, it won't be an issue with future babies either...I don't think.

Best of luck,
~Emily

[mollybet]

You can be a good homebirth activist after the baby comes. Do what you have to do now to keep yourself happy and in a peaceful state of mind.

I now realize I was very lucky to have the full support of my family and friends. My best friend is an Obstetrician and even she was supportive, albeit a little worried.

[grace's voice]

Originally Posted by AnneCordelia

*
Once you've done it, it won't be an issue with future babies either...I don't think.

Best of luck,
~Emily

I think it depends on your family, cuz mine insist I just got "lucky" with my first sucessful homebirth, which was intense but totally smooth. It was my fisrt labor, it was only 3 hours long, and resulted in a healthy 9 pound 4 ounce baby girl

I thought Seattle was crunchier too... the crunchies are out there, they're just hard to find admidst all the stuck up Californians (no offense to anyone!) who move up here to work at Microsoft and overpolulate our nature.

[Emilie]

No- You do not need to tell anyone you do not want to that you are having a homebirth. i think telling people you know are going to be in opposition- just creates negative energy and an upsetting pg. Period.
It is NOT their issue. It is NOT your job to make them feel better about YOUR choice.
You can tell them after the baby is born. I told my mom- I knew she would be understanding- I told my dad really close to the due date- and we told FIL- cause he would not take no for an answer- and was coming to visit on my due date.
I would highly suggest that you do not broadcast this- it will only bring you heartache- and rise doubts for you- no matter how concious or subcounsious they may be.
WE told most folks after the baby- we had a surpsingly warm response- however the baby had already been born.
I feared that something would go wrong and folks would say- yah we knew you could not do it.

[Mommy_Pooh]

Subscribing to thread...


I wanna know too. My family would just freak, I know it, they're very mainstream and my sis is trying to get into medical school.

Ironically enough, if I told anyone, it would be my MIL. We've always been the best of friends, and she's very crunchy - bf'ed, cloth diped all 3 of her kids.


I want a MW assisted home waterbirth, but I'm now facing the possibility I might have to consider a UC - so far all the MW's I've talked to around here are so similar to the OB model, it's scary. *sigh*

[SusannahM]

We put off telling my MIL (we didn't even make the switch to a midwife until 32 weeks, we were planning on a hospital birth before that) until about 3 weeks before DD was due. We thought she would freak. We had decided that if she bombarded us with negativity, that we just wouldn't talk to her. Surprisingly, she just accepted the decision without much comment at all, and now, after seeing how well the birth went, she thinks homebirth is great. My mom and dad were a little worried at first, but I knew they wouldn't be negative, and then my dad found out his grandmother used to be a midwife way back, and my mom talked to someone at work that had had 3 homebirths, and they actually started thinking it was a good idea.

[Mama8]

We did not tell anyone I was even pregnant the last time until I was 20 weeks along and had an u/s showing the baby was healthy. Then we only told my family I was pregnant. I told no one we were having a home birth. My aunt is a OBGYN nurse When the baby was born I called my mom and told her that Victoria was here. She heard the other children in the background and asked if they were already there at the hospital. Thats when I told her I had her at home. She said,"I am glad I didn't know before hand. I can see why you didn't tell me." But she has been very supportive. My aunt on the other hand freaked and said that the CNM should have her licensed yank for allowing me to birth at home (previous c-section, lots of kids, illeostomy) I didn't tell anyone it was a direct entry midwife Then my husband called his family who didn't even know I was pregnant and told them he had a suprise. They were more focused on the fact we had another baby they had known nothing about then the fact of where she was born. Though his mother did say "Oh she is like the pioneers" They acted like they were excited about it. We have only heard a few grumblings from his brothers about not knowing I was pregnant. We didn't tell because we had had a son die from heart defects the year before and I didn't want the negativity and worry they would bring knowing I was pregnant. I wanted to deal with the fears I had my own way. I also did not want any negative energy about my decision to home birth. I would make the same decisions to this day. I think they were the right ones for my family and me.