thoughts on inlaws

[momto l&a]

I just dont know what to think or do about this, except I know that it bugs me. So would you mind giving me your thoughts on the matter?

Dd #1 birthday is Jan. 1 and my in-laws never come up (800 miles) because its winter time though our winters have been mild lately. They live in central California we live in Idaho.
Dd #2 birthday is in May and they are planning on coming up then, it will be her first birthday.

I am wondering what dd#1 is going to think, I mean grandparents come up for her sister and but not hers? I know that life is not fair nor will it ever be.

We dont make a big deal out of birthdays, we just do something really small and just family. I am afraid they will want to make a big deal out of it but being its my house I WILL have to put my foot down but how, nicely?
It wont mean much to dd#2 them being here but if they would have come for dd#1 she would remember and it could be special for her.

They almost always come up in July, but now I think they want to start coming up in May instead, or maybe both.

I should also say that they and I dont have alot in common as far as our thoughts, actually they only thing we have in common is my husband and kids.
So am I making a mountian out of a mole hill, or is there cause for concern?

Thanks for reading this rambling post and for your thoughts!

[mcimom]

Could you celebrate both birthdays when they do make it? It might be neat for both the girls and it might really make your ils happy. Since you don't do a big deal anyway, just tell them ahead of time since you couldn't be here for dd1's bday, why don't we have a special celebration while you're here for both of them since it's dd2's bday? bake them each their own little cake and they can both open gifts from gma and gpa.

if it goes well, make it a little tradition then it won't be weird or seem uncomfortable for dd1, she'll have her regular bday and know that there's a special double b-day to look forward to when gma and gpa come in the summer. like i said, your ils might get a kick out of it too - get a chance to spoil both g-dds and have it to look forward to every summer.

just a thought... we've done our daughter's baptisms and bdays together (DD1 bday, DD2 baptism and DD2 bday, DD3 baptism) and it worked out well.

[lilyka]

I agree. See if they would like to celebrate both of the childrens birthdays. If they are game matry to make a big deal about it without making a big fuss (or the other way around) anyway make it really special and let them know that both girls are so happy to see them without going crazy. Grandparents are always a big deal without you haveing to do any work.. Ask them to be sensitive to your older dds feelings by saying "we are here to see our grandchildren " instead of "we are here to celebrate *** birthday".