the "locker room" and other reason to Circ.

[sha_lyn]

My almost 14 DS is noncirc. and I just wanted to point out that he has never suffered some of the "reason's to circ." that are thrown at parents. I just read many threads here and instead of posting this answer to each one, I thought it would be wiser to post it as a separate topic.


He was in a private preschool for a yr, public school for 7 and has played many sports over the years. Not once has his foreskin been a subject of conversation in the bathroom or locker room

We are pretty open around our home (having one bathroom helps that LOL) and DS never (even when little) commented on his looking different than his dad's

He doe not have an odor

He has never had an infection

At his 13 yr check up the new Ped commented on his good hygine "down there"


BTW.... DS knows I talk about this and it is ok with him. He thinks circ. is horrible and mean (I never told him my feelings about it until after he expressed his feelings) and he is glad that my talking about it might help to keep circ. from happenening.

[hahamommy]

Thanks for posting your son's experience, sha_lyn This is very reassuring to moms who may have this concern ~ and your son is exactly at the age in which we wonder if this will be an issue. I've often thought about asking my own 15 year old cousin about his experiences in the locker room, but would hate to embarrass him ~ so I ask my 21 year old cousin instead :LOL He too, never, never suffered consequence to his ego, self-esteem, nor friendships because of his foreskin (his dad AND two older brothers are circ'd).
Just a suggestion about your vocabulary, you should say your son is *intact* instead of *not circ'd* because this term implies he *missed* something ~ just my opinion, of course, but I want to turn the tide, one phrase at a time

~diana

[menudo]

When I was in HS I do remember one thing. For a week, the girls kept discussing a certain boy who was uncut. They were quite intrigued and amazed by it. They were eager to see it. Not what we want for our young sons, but it didn't sound like a negative, although he sparked curiosity...lol

[sha_lyn]

hahamommy... I see what your saying about the words, but I guess to me it is more like saying uncut vs cut but less crudely. I do see though how "un" tends to have a negative effect, such as the misinformation that intact=unclean.


I wanted to add too that the only adult circ. I know of was on my grandfather when he has surgery for prostate cancer. The reason given was that it would be easier on the nurses when caring for his catheter. I was about 20 at the time and pregnant with DS. I was horrified that the Dr would suggest Circ. a 71 yr man just to make it easy on a couple of nurses.

[Frankly Speaking]

Heard something similar.

There is a man in New Jersey that has a case going right now for something similar.

This man is in his late 50's and had gone into the hospital for abdominal surgery. While he was in the operating room, he was also circumcised. The doctor had not discussed this with him and when he woke, he was very upset. The doctor told him it had to be done so he could be catherterized.

Of course, that was bull! Millions of intact men have been catheterized with no problem. You just stick it into the urethra the required distance and tape it to the outside of the penile shaft. There is also an external male catheter that is similar to a condom with a tube and does not require entering the urethra. It is simply slipped on and taped around the base.

The lawsuit hasn't gotten to court yet but it will be interesting to see how it turns out.



Frank

[BreJean]

Well, the other point too is that so many boys these days aren't be circ-ed. So, when boy babies today are in high school 15 years from now, I think it will be a total non-issue.

I have heard that not being circ-ed makes for better sex later on in life LOL!

[gurumama]

Oh my God, Frank, that's so horrible!

I've read that if my son who is intact ever needs any sort of procedure/surgery to write on the chart DO NOT CIRCUMCISE in large letters and get a copy, to prevent this sort of thing from happening. I've even told DH that if I die or am out of town and DS needs surgery, to remember this!

That poor man! I hope he wins and wins BIG.

Mel

[Frankly Speaking]

Yeah, Mel. I first heard about that one about two years ago and still haven't figured out if the doctor was some kind of pervert or monumentally stupid.


Frank

[Christy1980]

I remember hearing about a man who went in for open heart surgery and came out circ'd....b/c of complications, they couldn't do the open heart, so they closed him up. The man was obviously scared to death of going back for more surgery for fear of waking up missing something else. I think in his lawsuit, he only won court costs and lawyer fees...meaning that yes, he had been violated, but that his foreskin was not worth anything!!


Now, if my boyfriend is reading this thread, just stop NOW!!! You know who you are!!!!!!!


As for the high school teasing, when i was in school, (not soooo long ago c/o 98), i dated a somoan (chumaran? from guam) intact guy, (my 1st, uh, "encounter" ever), and i thought it was cool and was curious about uh, "it" and what "it" was like, uh, ya know, "in motion"..... He was a jerk..."put out or get out" kinda guy, but at 15y/o, you think you're in love....:

ANYWAY~~~all my girl friends wanted to know what it was like, and how it was, and all that, and being my 1st experience, i had nothing to compare to.....but i told them it was really cool, and really big, kinda scary, but not like gross scary, like nervous scary....They wanted to know if it was gross or ugly, and i told them no, to which they all went, (intregued) "oooh...." and anyway, he ended up being really popular with the girls once they all started talking...: so he dumped me for some hot cheerleader type girl, and so on...then he moved back to guam....

Then i dated a long list of circ'd guys who were also jerks, but also had tiny weenies with ugly scars on them. If i had a tiny weenie, i'd be a jerk too.

Just a suggestion about your vocabulary, you should say your son is *intact* instead of *not circ'd* because this term implies he *missed* something ~ just my opinion, of course, but I want to turn the tide, one phrase at a time

how about instead of saying "circumcised," we say "un-intact" or "non-intact"!!!! That definately implies that the un-intact guy IS missing something!!!

PS--sorry my posts have been so long lately I get that way sometimes.... sorry

[Sustainer]

Originally posted by Christy1980
If i had a tiny weenie, i'd be a jerk too.

I just want you to know I have tears streaming down my face because I am laughing so hard at this!

ROTFLMAO

Omigosh...okay...I'm okay now.

: )

What I originally wanted to say is that my partner is intact and he has never had any kind of a problem from it in the locker room or any where else. He has told me that if anyone in this forum ever has any questions he'll be happy to answer them.

[Evergreen]

None of the men in my family are circ'd and when I saw this thread I called my 20 yo brother and asked him about the locker room thing. Im sure he loved discussing this info. with me, but he said that there was always atleast 1 other intact guy in there and nobody wanted the label of pervert or gay from looking at other guy's penises so nothing was ever said about it! These days I know of very few little boys who are circ'd (but my friends are all "hippies") so I think it will be 50-50 in our sons' future locker rooms and not weird to see an intack penis at all!

[Christy1980]

what was funny about the "locker room" teasing was that other guy friends who caught a glimpse of the chumaran guy's wang noticed the size and not the foreskin. (he was about 11 inches erect so i don't exactly know what that equates to when flaccid...I never say it flaccid! ) Of course, they thought that was all because he was from guam, like being born on an island in the pacific somehow made his penis larger than a penis grown in the U.S.????:

duh!

sidenote: the clitoris IS kinda like a tiny weenie, and I'm not a jerk! :LOL so i guess i was wrong!

[applejuice]

My Father was not circ'd and when he was in the hospital for prostate cancer, it was not an issue. The nurses were used to it. I guess here in LALA land there are lots of different people.

[elelvee]

>>"...look like the other boys in the locker room."<<


*Why were the other boys circumcised?


The "locker room" statement and the "look like his father" equate to "do it because someone else did."



A change of subject:
People's response to a normal penis (if they are not used to it) is something on the order of "redundant," "excess".
When people react to an exception to other body-deformation fads, the basic idea is exactly the same.
Pearl S Buck's narrator in "The Good Earth," about to marry a peasant woman, feels disgust that she has "big feet". Notice, "big." They're the same size as his.
There was a tribe whose people knocked out their front teeth. They laughed at neighbors who had -- "big teeth". They "looked like zebras."

[Millie Ivy]

T
Applejuice, I love your "location"! HP rocks!

[cottonwood]

The reason for circumcising I often hear is "because it looks better." Like the penis is such a thing of beauty to begin with! Well... okay. I guess I can't argue against subjective definitions of beauty, and I do, ahem, think my partner has a rather nice one. But personally I think a circ'd penis looks uncomfortably, embarrassingly naked, and I have seen some really awful looking ones -- I don't know if they were scarred from the surgery (probably) or what, but IMO a protective covering would have been a visual improvement...

[Xenogenesis]

Totally Off Topic - applejuice - I see you've hit one thousand posts !! Congratulations !! Par-tey !!

[bxingirl]

Frustrated by ds sex-ed teacher

I have two son's, both intact. 14 and 2 years old. My 14 year old has not had any problems. Actually, the other day he came home and said that his friend is intact too. Yes, I was wondering how in the heck he knew that! He said that his friend told him. My feeling is that almost half of the boys are intact these days. Does anyone know for sure? The reason I came back to this topic is because I am trying to get some facts to tell my son's
science/sex- ed teacher. She said that most boy's are circ'd and there is less chance of getting infection. That pissed me off! I know it did not make my son feel good. She didn't say anything to support the intact males. So if anyone has anything I can intelligently shoot at her, I'd appreciate it! Keep up the sense of humor. You all are FUNNY!

[Frankly Speaking]

The average percentage of circumcised newborns west of the Rockies 5 years ago was 38% so when your son was born, it was probably about 50/50. The rate all over the country is dropping rapidly and the west coast states are at the leading edge. Since it has already dropped below 50% there is little momentum left in the circumcision trend there and peer influence among parents will drive the drop in the future. As physicians become more familiar with the intact penis, more and more will actively recommend against circumcision or refuse to perform the procedure altogether. They are getting the support from the parents they need to make it possible.

I don't know if there is a "quick retort" that can get the message across. There are so many myths and so much false information that you just can't "do a quickie." I would print out some information and approach her with it. Let her read and digest it and then make yourself available for questions. I would also give her links to several discussion boards. Almost all of them are populated by very knowledgeable people that can handle any question.




Frank

[Frankly Speaking]

I'll also add from personal experience that educators can be very resistant to education. How strange!



Frank