I feel like a complete failure

[neomia]

OK, I know this subject has been covered many times, but I feel a need to tell my story too. We just got back from what was supposed to be a visit to get caps for my 18 month old, and his 4 front teeth had gotten so bad, they couldn't save them and they ended up extracting all of them. The decay was pretty much all the way up to the gum line, so there really wasn't anything anybody could have done. I know there is a big debate about whether or not breastfeeding causes cavities, but this is the way I understand it. It is not about the breastmilk, it is about what kind of bacteria your kid has. That is why you will see kids that were night nursed and still have perfect teeth. But unfortunately, if you have aggressive bacteria, it will feed on any carb. I have taken graduate level classes in biochemistry - I should know this. I guess that is why I feel so guilty that I bought into this idea that the breastmilk at night could not be making it any worse. Now I have a kid with no front teeth and I feel like it is all my fault. I knew there was a problem, but we kept putting it off because my husband was out of work and we don't have insurance. What a horrible excuse, and now I am heartbroken. Not to mention we need to go through the nightweaning process on top of all this other trauma. I am going to give him at least a couple days to get over this first. The other problem is the dentist said nursing might pull out the plugs and cause bleeding, but I don't think I can deny him right now. He didn't say there was any concern of infection, so I guess I will just have to see how it goes. My husband says he thinks his teeth came in bad right from the start and he just drew a bad genetic stick, if you will, but I still feel like I should have taken care of this sooner so he could have at least had caps. I feel like I am not even fit to be a mother right now.

[onlyboys]

Much love and light to you. Be gentle with yourself, mama.

[ozzyemm]

s
My baby brother got his pulled out at that age. After the initial trauma, he was fine. In fact, he even taught himself to whistle-- really well!

[Jillbob]

[neomia]

Thanks mamas! He seems to be doing pretty well now that he is up. Eating yogurt just fine. Whistling, huh? I am trying to look on the bright side. At least he can't bite me anymore haha.

[Boobs]

It's not your fault!
I'm afraid we're going to be in the same boat. We're on the waiting list to get my 13 mo ds evaluated. His top 4 teeth are all decayed too.

I've been fighting all the why's and how's too. Something occurred to me today and I could be completely off base. But I'm wondering if our candida overgrowth and subsequent nutritional deficiencies might have more to do with the decay than anything else. I don't know. I just realized today that all of my problems over the last year are yeast, so that got me thinking that maybe his tooth decay is related.
I just don't feel like it's as plain and simple as genetics or improper dental hygiene.

Hugs to you, mama!

[<<>>]

my dd's teeth went bad starting at 7m, and she had 10 caps at 2yo.
dd2's teeth are perfect
ds's teeth grew in with decay. at 4m....they are a funny color and one is badly chipped.
1 and 3 look like dh,who has severly decayed teeth.
and 2 looks like me, and mine are fine.
I'm sure there are things that I could of done to slow it down, or something, but I think that 1 and 3 just got the bad tooth gene from dh...

the dentist said that my night nursing caused the decay.
i said 'uh hello, when they came down from the gums they were already decayed....'
'well no, you must be mistaken, it's the night nursing'
'wow it only too a matter of days for my horrible BM to decay my ds teeth'

and the dentist with my first dd. was an ass...
decay starts at 7m i'm concerned by 12
the only dentist who sees medicaid kids wont see any until they are 18m
at 18m I call, and every month i'm told 'no more new M. paitents this month, try back on the first of next month....for 4 full months....:
babys awake.

[neomia]

Hmm, interesting. I have not had any yeast problems at all. I do the same thing you do, though, and try to find something to "blame". For me it was wondering if the high lipase content in my breastmilk had something to do with it. I am one of those moms who can't freeze her milk because of that. It goes rancid. So I am thinking lipase is an enzyme... could it break down teeth somehow? Who knows? It is probably just genetics.

[Chele]

oh please don't blame yourself, or nursing, even night nursing. It really isn't the cause, even if your little one has weak teeth. Check out La Leche League site, kellymom.com, the lactoferrin in breastmilk has antibacterial qualities to it and it actually attacks the strep mutans that cause decay. Some say, weaning will make the decay worse because they won't be getting the lactoferrin any longer. I know of moms who weaned due to decay only to go back to the dentist a few months later with more cavities. The decay will happen regardless of nursing, and the benefits of nursing, around the clock, FAR OUTWAY any weaknesses in the baby teeth. I encourage you to research this more before you nightwean. By the way, my 2 1/2 year old is having all four of his front teeth pulled next month, they started to decay only weeks after coming in. You can really see the weak spots on his enamel. He is still a cutie. Good luck.

[KatSG]

I don't have any personal experience with this (other than my own bad gums) but a friend had a similar experience, her son's teeth had to be pulled when he was about 4. He wasn't nursing anymore, so it didn't come up, but she thinks it may have had something to do with his high fevers as a baby. She also thinks ABs could have done it, and since someone here brought up yeast, perhaps that could be in issue.

I hear your grief. I felt the same way when dd fell of my lap and split her head open and had to get 7 stitches above her eye. No one can even see the scar anymore, but I mourned the marring of my perfect, perfect baby for a long time.

[toraji]

Hugs mama. This tooth stuff sucks. I blamed myself for a long time after DD started developing decay, and still do to some extent.

The good news is that you can make changes to prevent further damages from occuring. This was the blessing in disguise that came from my horrible teeth experience. I'm pressed for time right now but wanted to point you to a few threads that may help with your questions.

My story here:
http://mothering.com/discussions/sho...d.php?t=419877

More on my thoughts re: causes of tooth decay (my posts start on pg2)
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...3&page=2&pp=20

Not all breastmilk is the same (very extensive discussion about nutrients in breastmilk according to mama's diet):
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=343188

I also had an excess of lipase in my breastmilk, which I attribute to my then low-fat diet. Here is an interesting thread that had an offshoot discussion about personal effects of changing diet on breastmilk:
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=414949
Especially read firefaery's post, #34

Ok, gotta go! HTH!

[neomia]

Toraji, thanks for all those links. I haven't had time to get through them all, but would like to. It seems the more I read about this issue, the more I feel like my head is going to explode. Orion's bottom two incisors were not pulled, but are very yellow and have that chipped appearance on top. So we need to decide how to proceed with those. I don't think I could stand any organ meats, but should look into mineral supplements I guess. Orion doesn't eat as much vegetables as I would like. He won't eat anything salady, but I never thought of blending it. He also will not eat anything that is like a soup or a puree, so maybe there is a way to get an inbetween consistency. I am also going to get some of that xylitol gel.

The thing I did not see mentioned much, unless I missed it, are sealants. I have not started any research on those yet at all. In theory, they sound like a good idea, especially for a kid who seems to have weak teeth, but what they heck are they made of? Does anybody know if they are not such a good idea?