LATE READER...how do you have patience?

[motherbug]

Please relate to me how you have found the patience to deal with a late reader?? I try not to panic about it, but - it is hard! My little guy is 8, and he can read some, he is always progressing, but - I wouldn't say he is a full-fledge reader yet. He has little interest in reading, but is bright in many other ways...like math. He loves numbers, and so math is no problem to him. He loves legos, building, playing with play-dough, etc....but, sometimes I STRUGGLE myself with wondering "when is he going to take off with reading??" What else can I do to help this along??

CMP, homeschooling momma to 3

[SagMom]

How is your ds feeling about his ability? If he's okay with it, I'd try to take a deep breath, focus on what he CAN do, and how much he's learned in the past 8 years, and just wait. Read to him a lot. Be cautious about turning him off of reading by pressing him to read.

If he's impatient as well, you could read together--he reads a few sentences, you read a page, he reads a few sentences, etc. Or, skip the "easy readers" entirely and move on to chapter books that really excite him. Sometimes those easy or beginner chapter books are so simplistic that they don't really inspire one to want to read, yk? Or put the closed captioning on the tv when you watch it. Play computer games or video games that require reading (and tell him what it says when he asks.) Borrow books on tape from the library--the ones with the book so he can follow along. Read to him. Read to him. Read to him.

My oldest was a very late reader. (Well, "late" by conventional expectations--he learned to read at exactly the right time for him. ) He liked to be read to, but didn't like reading himself. He reads a lot now, but most importantly, he LOVES to read. When he tells me, "This book is soooo good, I can't put it down. I'm going to have to find others by this author." My heart is about ready to burst--there was a time that I never thought I'd hear him speak like that.

You say he can read some, and is progressing--keep focusing on that. Read to him (did I mention that? ) It'll happen for him.

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by motherbug

Please relate to me how you have found the patience to deal with a late reader?? I try not to panic about it, but - it is hard! My little guy is 8, and he can read some, he is always progressing, but - I wouldn't say he is a full-fledge reader yet. He has little interest in reading, but is bright in many other ways...like math. He loves numbers, and so math is no problem to him. He loves legos, building, playing with play-dough, etc....but, sometimes I STRUGGLE myself with wondering "when is he going to take off with reading??" What else can I do to help this along??

The eldest of the Colfax boys - the first one to get into Harvard, and go on to graduate from their medical department on the Dean's List - didn't read till sometime when he was nine. Here are two articles that might be helpful:

Reading Slow and Gentle

Raising Readers at Home

And just in case - here's one about my own son, who used to read only to get information rather than for pleasure until he was 12 and we found out he had vision deficiencies that made reading a lot of work:
Taking a Look at Vision Skills

Eight is awfully young to "take off" with reading - and as long as he's progressing, I wouldn't worry at this point. I'd make sure the books and magazines around the house are really tasty ones, though! Lillian

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by Joan

How is your ds feeling about his ability? If he's okay with it, I'd try to take a deep breath, focus on what he CAN do, and how much he's learned in the past 8 years, and just wait. Read to him a lot. Be cautious about turning him off of reading by pressing him to read.

: Very important points!

I read heavily to my son till he was 12 - some of the most delightful times we ever had together! Finally, after vision therapy, and at a point where he was attracted to different kinds of books than what I wanted to spend hours and hours reading (including sci fi books I'd already read independently), I just bowed out and watched him become the voracious reader that he still is.

Lillian

[motherbug]

Thanks Joan! Your description of your child sounds just like mine! He does love to be read to, and I am afraid that I am guilty of "pushing" reading on him in the past (which is why he used to say he hated reading!)...that broke my heart because I read to all my children as newborns and before! Books are everywhere in our house, and I just didn't know better at the time. But, I did take a long long break from "teaching" reading, and went to a VERY relaxed homeschooler (not totally unschooler - but, close enough)...so, now he is displaying interest in reading (after a long time of nothing), but - you are right! He HATES early readers....cringes over them. So, we read cereal boxes, magazines, and since he DOES love video games - and computer games, he certainly can read "start, play, game-over, push, press, lost, win, points, health, life, score and his favorite word "poop"

Thanks for your words of wisdom. I do need to hear them from time to time. I have a sister who is fiercely competetive with her son who is 3 weeks apart in age from mine. Her son reads....and she just LOVES to remind me of that!! And, we are such different people. She spanks, screams, spoiles, lavishes then resents his spoiled behavior, bottle fed, etc...and I am the exact opposite! I still get teased from her about nursing my DD until she was five. Oh well, that is something that I HAVE to deal with - not my little guy!!:

[cottonwood]

No suggestions, really, I just want to offer sympathy and support! My son just turned 9, and I have been eagerly awaiting his learning to read just because I am so hyper-aware of how most people think it's crazy that we've not pushed it. Well, only a month ago he was still working on basic words. But just today in a drive-through he read "Please pull up to next window," albeit slowly, but wow! I have heard over and over that once they are really and truly ready, it comes relatively quick and easily. And that's exactly what is happening.

[Lillian J]

teen readers

Another bit of encouragement I just thought of. As I said earlier, my son didn't show an interest in reading for pleasure until age 12, but it cedertainly increased fast. When he was in his teens, I was working as speaker coordinator for a large homeschooling conference that has a teen component to it. I asked him what speaker he would like to see in the teen section of the conference. He grinned and responded facetiously, "Tad Williams," thinking it was ridiculous request. That was the sci-fi/fantasy author he'd been reading - the speaker he wanted most to hear was a writer! He had not only developed a love for reading, but a discriminating eye for and interest in various authors' styles - and he and his friends used to talk about all these things. I got lucky and was able to get that speaker, and the teens were stunned and thrilled. There was a mad rush among them to gobble up all his writings in time for the conference. Some of these were kids who hadn't previously read much. And it was fabulous - rooms full of teens loved his talks and hung on every word he had to say. So there's hope - lots of it! Lillian

[simple living mama]

You might enjoy Peggy Kaye's book called Games for Reading. My kids enjoy the games out of it and it doesn't feel schoolish.

I loved Lillians articles. Here are a few more that I think you might enjoy.

I CAN BREATHE AGAIN—
MY CHILDREN FINALLY LEARNED TO READ
http://sandradodd.com/r/carol

Ask Carol - Carol Narigon
Will They Ever Read?
http://www.homeedmag.com/HEM/186/ndaskcarol.html

[Baby Rose]

my experience is that around 9 years old, suddenly most kids just "get it". that happened with all 3 of my older children (16,14 and 11 y/o). as for my other one (or 2 or 3 ) only time will tell. I now know all the frustration and pushing is not worth it and I'll let time take its course.

[SagMom]

Originally Posted by motherbug

... I am afraid that I am guilty of "pushing" reading on him in the past (which is why he used to say he hated reading!)...that broke my heart because I read to all my children as newborns and before! Books are everywhere in our house, and I just didn't know better at the time.

yeah, I did the same thing. We did what we thought was the right thing at the time--it was unheard of (for me anyway) for a child to be that old and not reading, so we felt we needed to DO something. I felt a lot of pressure from the world around us and put some of that on ds. It didn't help that his younger sister started reading suddenly at the age of 5 and was quickly reading books far above her brother's reading level.

My ds would read game screens, and YuGiOh! cards, signs out of necessity--things like that. We got him magazine subscriptions (at first, he only read the headlines.) But his reading took off suddenly. When he was 11 or so, he'd read a couple of Magic Tree House, but little else. We read aloud a lot, and have loads of books around. Then someone gave him a story (he was 12, I think) which included dragons--it was a young adult/adult level book and I assumed I'd be reading it to him. One day, he was in his room with his door closed and I asked if he could come out and help me with something and he responded, "In a minute...I'm reading." I nearly fell over. It was a very thick book, and slow going, but he read the whole thing himself. From there, he went on to Eragon, the Harry Potter series, Eldest, the Garth Nix books, and basically anything in print, he could read.

The funniest thing, to me, is to hear my kids discussing a book that I know that dd read when she was 7 and ds read when he was 13--they talk plot, disect characters, discuss possibilities for sequels, and it does not matter in the LEAST how old they each were when they read it. Hang in there, mamma!

[keeksmom]

We are going through the same thing with dd, age 8.
I posted a question on this topic a while ago and got a lot of really helpful, supportive replies. Here is a link to that thread:
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=373302
I sent the article mentioned above:
Raising Readers at Home
http://www.besthomeschooling.org/art...ristensen.html
to my mother and MIL. Both had the exact same reply: "I will NEVER again ask you if she is reading yet!" My mom said the article made her cry!

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by keeksmom

I sent the article mentioned above:
Raising Readers at Home
http://www.besthomeschooling.org/art...ristensen.html
to my mother and MIL. Both had the exact same reply: "I will NEVER again ask you if she is reading yet!" My mom said the article made her cry!

How ~wonderful~! I've sent a note off to Paula to let her know - she'll be so happy to hear that. - Lillian

[PancakeGoddess]

My later reader just recently "got it" at 8.5 - he could read before but now he can really read and enjoy. For about the past year, I was insisting on a small amount of reading every day, but I'm talking about 5 minutes or less, and he was on board ftmp. Some days more than others. I think it helped, and I'm glad he didn't start much later than this. I know it's unpopular, but reading later than 9-10 seems emotionally really hard on kids, from the experiences of friends who've been through it. The reading material at their level is babyish, they can't do a lot of peer-related activities easily, and the realities of our culture just start to barge in - fairly or not.

[Aurora]

My 8 year old ds is a reluctant reader. I pushed him in the beginning and I really regret it now. He can read some but he hates too. I have laid off of him and I don't require any reading by him now. He has started to pick books up and read some and I always say yes to him when he asks if I will read to him.

[Mamax3]

I am reading Learning At Home A Mother's Guide to Homeschooling by Marty Layne. It is a wonderful book on parenting as well as homeschooling. She homeschooled her 4 children, one of which didn't read fluently until 12.5 years old. She describes how she continued to be patient and how it was hard for her but she had to keep believing that it would happen, and it did.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/096...lance&n=283155

[lauradbg]

PancakeGoddess, I really like you term, "later reader" rather than late reader. It may be late in relative terms with school peers of the same age (who are being forced to learn, even if they're not ready). But, it is when they are ready that kids will easily read.

Some are ready later.

[ohwoohwo]

You already got a lot of wonderful advise. I want to mention one thing, (if you haven't already) you may want to make sure there is nothing going on with the eyesight or vision. By your description it doesn't sound like there is but I thought it is still worth mentioning.

[motherbug]

THANKS AGAIN FOR all the wonderful advice and encouragement....makes me want to have a "later reader" club FOR MOM's (b/c the kids would be off playing legos or playdough for sure

But, believe it or not - I went to the mall with another mom alone the other day - (the fact that I was alone and at a MALL are both unheard of)...anyway, I decided to buy Jordie a book, I got him Super Diaper Baby and Captain Underpants. Anyway, when I got home later that night I mater-of-factly said I got him some funny books and he can have them if he wants. So, he said "ok", and within a few minutes I could hear him laughing from his bedroom. He was able to read a few lines, and BEgged (did you hear me...he BEGGED) for me to read him the books! He has been carrying the books around for days now - showed them to his group of friends last night and was trying to draw Diaper Baby and the poopy guy !?!?!: My heart almost stopped. Well, I am not making a big deal out of it in front of him, but internally I am leaping for joy!!!

Well, I just like to see the love of the written word come back, and I promise to the homeschooling god that I will never push another reading program on him again!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. I really like all of the sites that were posted here!

[chaos_pie]

OMG! I read this thread a few days ago. Your son sounds so much my ds (my ds is just turning 7). And I was just coming back to suggest the Captain Underpants books. The other day I bought my ds a few Captain Underpants books and last night he ran down to tell me he read a few lines by himself!!!! The same story as yours!!!

I can't stand reading those Captain Underpants books (by my adult standards potty humor is only soooo funny), but I am all for them!!!!!!!!!!!! Especially seeing the interest in reading they are provoking! Ds and I read together another one this morning

[rsps]

My son turned 8 in January. At that time, I say he was reading at a early 1st grade level, now he's 3rd or maybe higher -- it just clicked for him over the last couple of months. He really wanted to read his Wizard of Oz books on his own, and his comic books, and that is what motivated him.

So just be patient, your son's time will come too. Read fun things too him, let him see you enjoying reading to yourself, and he will read when he is ready.

I also keep in mind that DH was held back in the 3rd grade because he couldn't read, yet he made it up by finished his BA (in English) in 3 years, and is now a professor with a master's degree. Late reading won't stop your kids from being successful.