Hey Lisa! (Are you stalking me?

)
My MW (who also does homebirths although I'm having a birth center birth) charges $3500, BUT it's covered by my insurance (Medicaid, at that!) I wouldn't assume your insurance doesn't cover it, when I called they told me they didn't, and my MW said that's crap, they just don't like to SAY they cover it. I still have to pay $1750 for the facility fee (or $750 supply fee for a HB) that insurance doesn't cover.
I would for sure call some midwives & do alot of reading. I personally would feel fine birthing with a hospital 45 minutes away, but that's all dependant on your comfort level. You could always try for a birth center too if your DH is dead set against a HB. (That was a compromise DH and I made, and to be honest, I like my birth center better than my apartment anyway!)