Neighbor girl talking mean about my DD!

[Ann-Marita]

There is a group of girls, 8 - 11 yrs old, around our block. DD, age 10, gets along well with most of them. But there is one girl (she's the 11 yr old) who is just plain mean.

Please see my post in Childhood Years forum, link below. I'm cross posting here because the girl uses homeschooling as part of her insults. "She homeschools and she's stupid."

Please go read more at...

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...36#post4805536

[guest^]

Wow!! I take it you don't have a very friendly relationship with all of these girl's parents? That would be the key to improving things-or at least a big factor in fixing things.
I can relate to a tee. But, I am all for confrontation. I thinnk you have every right to talk to the girl directly, or talk to her parents and pray she isn't the "Oh NO! Not *my* dc!" type!!

Girls can be so vicious(?). I was just at B&N, and there was a book called "Why Girls Are So Angry". If I ever hear someone teasing another, I put a stop to it right away. I think you have every right to do that-especially if it happens at your own house.

Perhaps invite the families over for a potluck, and discuss with the girls about all of the teasing? Sometimes when our dd's friends are over, I will remind them right away to use only warm fuzzys. And to be respectful of each others differences-or just don't play together.

And maybe you can teach your dd ways to handle the bullying,teasing-empowering her to stick up for herself. I feel so bad for your dd, and the other dc.

Gosh, I don't feel like I am helping that much.


Who needs school to get bullied huh?:

mp

[Mamax3]

B sounds like an angry little girl. She is probably a bit jealous too. I mean your child is growing up in a child respectful environment, and with you playing with your child to boot.

I agree with talking with the other mother, only I would probably be a bit blunt (because it is a flaw of mine) and tell her that unless her daughter can be nice to all the children than she is not invited to play at your home. This should get the moms attention. I am sure that she wouldn't want her kid to be left out from being invited to play in your yard, how would she get rid of her......poor kid. Her mom probably knows full well that when her kid is in your yard she is being watched and taken care of, which takes a huge load off of her.

I suspect "B's" mom is jealous and an angry person as well, where else would that child hear the things that she is repeating?

Good luck!...and stick to your guns, you are your child's advocate always.

[Lillian J]

My advice would be to stay cautiously non-adversarial, behaving as if it's just obvious that you're all on the same team and all want to have a healthy neighborhood atmosphere - because I know from personal experience how easy it is for people to go bonkers and make things even worse when they feel as if they or their kids are being made "wrong." Good grief - well, I'll spare you the long saga of how some neighbors carried on because we finally expressed exasperation that their huge, unrestricted dog was continually squeezing into our yard and causing havoc.. But issues about children bring even crazier reactions. Your lonterm goal, after all, is to create a happy haven for your daughter - so it's worth trying to contain your emotions (understandable as they are!) and work the situation like a smooth politician to the extent that you're able. And besides, who knows why that girl is behaving like that - she may have troubles of her own that aren't obvious, which doesn't excuse the behavior, of course. Lillian

[Ann-Marita]

Thanks for the replies. We haven't really done anything, yet. DD and mean girl haven't had any opportunities to play together lately (due to activities, inclement weather and mean girl had a cold).