Feelings of Doubt

[Emmama]

I want nothing more than to homeschool my dc. My dd is 5, I am planning on continuing unschooling cause it works for us right now. The thing is, whenever I try to help her with things she wants to learn more about, my 3 yo ds acts up. He says, no you can't do that, do it this way. He is VERY bossy and VERY adament and it is so hard to focus with my dd. I do include all of my kids, but there are things that are age-appropriate for her, that she needs my help with, that he makes really hard to do.

She has learned a lot of things that I never "taught" her, so I know she is learning things. I just feel like dd is getting the shaft when she sees me spending the majority of my time with her three younger brothers. She gets so disappointed when I have to turn away form her a lot. How do you do it with younger, more demanding, siblings??

[ShannonCC]

My younger is my easier kid so I can't relate but I didn't want to be one of the many people viewing and then not responding, I'm not really sure what you should do. It's not really a homeschooling issue though, more of a parenting issue. If she were in school you'd have the same problem every night when you had to help her with her homework yk? And of course, school or no, she'd not be happy to always have her younger siblings stepping in front of her when she wants/needs attention from her mom.

Really though, it's something that will lessen as her brother grows older. Right now he's just at a very demanding stage. I'm not saying "tough cookies" to your daughter, I mean you have to find ways to work around it while telling yourself it *will* get better as he grows up. He won't always be like this. Can you save the stuff that the younger kids can't be part of for when your dh is home to play with them? Or can you find a way to get them involved too? What kinds of things do you mean? Whenever my son (the 3) sees me doing something with his sister, he wants in, but I'm almost always able to find a way to make him think he's part of it. Well, he *is* part of it, I mean to make him think he's doing what his sister is doing even though he isn't really. Like right now she's learning cursive so when I write a letter for her to copy, he has me write words of his choice too. He doesn't copy them or anything, he just feels that Bridget gets words on the board and so Owen gets words on the board and all is fair as far as he's concerned

Also, have you actually tried talking to him when he's not in the thick of it? Maybe sometime when it's the two of you alone. Might not seem to make a lick of difference in the short run but I bet it will help.

edited to add, I know you said you include them when you can. I was just thinking if you give examples of the things you say you can't include them in, maybe some of us here can help brainstorm ideas on how to include them?

[chaos_pie]

I also have a 3 yo. I have discovered that there are better times to work with my older child and not, and these are dictated by the time of day. My dd is most able to entertain herself and less likely demand my attention first thing in the morning. So we generally hs almost right after breakfast.I I will also sometimes start hs work before my dh leaves for work. I have discovered if we attempt to work after lunch, dd has a miserable time and becomes whiney and demanding. Sometimes, I just hold my dd on my lap while I work with ds, if something comes up in the afternoon....

[water]

Honestly, I don't have that much against preschool, i.e. a small, loving, homebased program with no academics that would give me and my older DS a chance for a couple hours a week for some one-on-one time together. Can you tell I'm considering it myself?

It depends on your reasons for homeschooling, I guess. My main one is the way schools completely kill a child's natural desire to learn, so that doesn't really apply to a preschool program where they show up and play with friends for a couple hours.

You may have different reasons so this might not apply to you, but I just thought I'd throw it out there!