Why doesn't anyone believe in me? - Page 2

[mamaginabean]

I love you guys. I'm sitting here crying *good crying*. I feel so loved. You don't even know me, and look at how you've reached out and helped me more than *alot* of people IRL. I feel so touched, and I really appreciate it. I really needed you guys, and I'm glad that I posted.

I am so bullheaded, even if I am ripping in half I will not get pain medication. But then on the other hand, I am so very afraid of failure. This baby is the best thing that I've ever accomplished, and I want everything to be just perfect for him or her!

I will definatley take everyone's advice! I am also going to find a LLL meeting, I believe there is one in a nearby town. I think it might help me feel not so "weird".

And Daisie125, you hit the nail on the head when you said Michigan is land of the un-crunch!!!

[mamachandi]

where do you live mamaginabean? I live in michigan too-

[gen_here]

I just wanted to say, I've been in your shoes, my best friend was **just** in your shoes... YOU CAN DO IT!!!!

I got so tired of hearing, "Oh honey, you'll want the drugs" last time. Believe it or not, it was knowing that I could come back an tell them that I DIDN'T want the drugs that got me through some of the roughest parts of labor (mainly a LONG pushing stage).

My best friend had a baby 2 days ago. Her best friend from childhood (not me), who used the same midwives for 2 natural births, told her there was no way she (my friend) would have a natural birth - that she wouldn't be able to hack it.

Both of us had long labors (hers was a few hours longer than mine and with no sleep the night before because of labor onset). Both of us pushed over 3 hours. Neither of us had even a tylenol.

My ds - 9 lbs, 3 oz
Her dd - 7 lbs, 8 oz
Another good friend of mine who did a natural last year - 10 lbs, 3 oz... and no tearing at all.

YOU CAN DO THIS!!! Believe in yourself. It sounds like your husband believes in you, too. That's a lot of great support you have there!!!!

[icxcnika]

+

You can do it, mama!

If you haven't read them already, "Active Birth" by Janet Balaskas and "Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way" by Susan McCutcheon are great books to help you with labor and birth. Share them with your dh also!

You can find lots of happy natural birth stories on the internet to read too.

If you pray, you can pray for a happy birth too!

And come back here for support whenever you need it!

God bless,
icxcnika

[Titus2fam]

YES! LLL is SUCH a WONDERFUL idea! You will LOVE IT! (((((HUGS))))) sandi

[Black Orchid]

It IS hard! We believe in you and it sounds like your DH does... do you have supportive health care providers? It isn't too late for a doula! And ditto the LLL suggestion, you'll find a lot more open minds there than in the mainstream world and I'll bet you'll get a lot of women willing to share their natural birth stories and give you support.

You can do it!

[adtake]

Go Girl!

You can so do it!! I decided I wanted to go natural with #1 for the fear factor of the epidural! Nobody leaving a needle in my spine *yuck*! but then thought 'you know what..women have done this for eons..why not me too!' And I did it#1, #2 and planning on #3. Excited about #3 ..i've found homeopathy and am curious how much it will help!!

One thing that did help with my mom and my parenting choices...breastfeeding (she was on BP meds and was told she couldnt), co cleeping... is i told her that she did a great job raising me, now to let me try ...if in 4o years my natural birth, breastfeeding and co sleeping has screwed the boys up she can say told you so....


And you will find great support at your LLL group! I've been going for 4+ years and still call on my LLL friends!!

Hang in there and we are all with you and LUUUFFFF you!!


ps

Originally Posted by Mom2-4Gs

My MIL said she was glad she would be out of town and I said well your weren't invited anyway!

OMG!! That is hysterical!!! I am cracking up over it!

[momsincmay]

Originally Posted by mamaginabean

Long post, sorry....

I am going for an unmedicated birth. I know that I can do this, my body was made to do this. The other day, my sister says *out of the blue* "I don't think you're going to do very well with labor pain". She has no children. Does she think that because she has endometriosis that she's like the pain expert or something? Hurt feelings #1.

Last week, we're over at my MIL's house and she asks if we've taken any classes. I told her that we took a "coping with labor class", and my DH chimes in that it was a huge waste of time since it was basically a "get an epidural and deal that way" class. So she says...."So that's what you're going to do, right...get the epidural?" I told her no, I'm going natural. She has the *ahem* balls to say "Why, because you THINK it's better for the baby?". This coming from a woman that had a c-section because DH was "too big" at 8lbs5oz, didn't breastfeed, etc etc etc. Ummmm....no, I KNOW it's better for the baby, it's not like it's my opinion or something. Hurt feelings #2.

My cousin was talking to my mom and mom told her that I was doing this natural and that it's written in my chart not to even offer meds. Cousin says "Oh yeah, I had that written in my chart too. It won't last." This also coming from a woman who has had Demoral for the births of all of her children, thinks that breastfeeding is too much of an "inconvenience" etc.etc.
Hurt feelings #3.

I just feel like I'm the weird one for wanting to do what nature intended.... and that everyone else is normal for wanting an epidural or pain meds. The only people that believe in me is myself, my mom, and my husband. Why am I getting almost no support in this? The only time I feel "normal" about my decisions is when I'm here on this board.....I don't know anyone even semi-crispy in real life.

First let me start by applauding your decision, natural birth was the way god intended it and no offense to mothers who opt for medication but youve chosen the safest way to give birth.

Im giving you kudos because oddly enough I was one of those mothers who was going to get medicated but arrived at the hospital too late in labor to get anything. I had my mother, my friends, my co workers and just about everybody else telling me get an epidural get demirol get something or you'll regret it. I couldnt and you know what .... I'M GLAD!!:

No matter what anybody says, only you can decide what's best for you. I would let all nay sayers say what they want and not take it so hard. For all you'll go through, I promise you the joy your child will bring wil outweigh all the contractions, pain and rude comments combined in comparison and believe it or not is why I can't wait to do it again (my dd is 10 mos) !