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OMG, I just saw my first SuperNanny episode - Page 3

post #41 of 86
Quote:
I'm honestly shocked at how negative everyone perceives this show. I always thought this was way better than the hitting and yelling that so many people have used before. I actually am happy to see someone saying that it's not ok to hit, yell, and fight with your kids. And, we all have to remember that most of these children came from a time of NO discipline. Sometimes to get something through to the children, you have to start out being a little harsher. I'm sure had they just pulled the kid aside and said "Your behavior is not ok," that kid would have hit, kicked, or spit in their face and walked away. Especially if you're starting this with a much older child.

Now, while I don't totally agree with everything she does, I think her solutions are much better than what the parents were doing ahead of time.
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From someone who was raised by shaming, embarrasing, spanking, name calling, and verbal abuse (much of what these families are doing) Super Nanny and Nanny 911 are a godsend. I can't even begin to tell you how much I fight internally with how my parents raised my sister and I. I used to cry at night and wish that my dad was more like Danny Tanner off of Full House. If they had done half of what Super Nanny did I would have been thrilled.
post #42 of 86
Slightly OT: SuperNanny is my kids' favorite show! DD (3) will ask to watch the "bad kid" show. All I have to do is sing the intro (the do-do-do-do's) and she'll yell "Super Nanny!". She also does her fake British accent and says "I'm on my way.". Am terrible...?

When DD is being pesky I'll jokingly ask her if I need to call SN...and then DD will go to her "naughty spot."
post #43 of 86
I agree with some of the people who pointed out that while we in the MDC community may be shocked by the nanny's tactics they are typically a HUGE improvement over the way the kids were being parented.

I have only watched the show a few times and I think that in most cases the parents have a terrible relationship with each other and a terrible relationship with their kids. I think the basic advice from the nanny is no shouting, no hitting, you have to understand your kids. Hey that is better than what was happening in the homes!

Of course the sleep training is awful but I would rather she is sleep training the kids and teaching the parent's not to yell and spank! I especially like that there is always an emphasis on getting a father involved with his kids.
post #44 of 86
I often wonder how these Nanny's and other shows with child pyschologists go on with their own kids when they come along. Afterall the Super Nanny doesn't have any children. It is easy to come in and make a few changes but it's different when it's 24 hours a day. I also wonder what these households look like in 6 - 12 months time.
I agree with what others said about it being a big improvement to the spankings that were common place in my childhood.
post #45 of 86
I don't watch religiously, but I did watch Supernanny pretty regularly for awhile. I actually really like her. She seems to genuinely like kids and has some good insights into families and techniques. I like that she emphasizes having fun as a family and the importance of rhythm/ routine. I don't like the whole CIO bedtime thing, although her version is less extreme than some I've heard of. And a lot of the families that they are dealing with are really incredibly extreme in behavior. I think in a lot of instances, the clear spelling out of rules and consequences makes everyone, including the kids, much much happier. It may not be GD, but it's a whole heck of a lot better than what was going on before she came! Nanny 911 I watched once and was so nauseated by the family with so many incredibly severe problems and yet the Nanny spent the whole week focusing on getting the preschoolers off their pacifiers. I was like, really, who cares? What's it hurting? Didn't seem to be overly bothering Mom or Dad either, esp in light of the violence the kids were engaging in towards each other and their parents, but Nanny seemed to think it was the obscene thing in the house. Sheesh.

And actually, I have implemented Supernanny's naughty seat technique with my 2.5 yr old. : I don't use it very often, but there have been times when she very obviously really needed a clear cut consequence. It's worked very well for us. I wouldn't want that to be my only technique, and I do prefer to have an in general more GD lifestyle, but I do think at times that it is a helpful technique for the toolbox. (Like the jigsaw, not something I need very often, but nice to have when you do. Could I get along without one? Absolutely! But it does make certain jobs faster and easier.)
post #46 of 86
Terabith, Not sure how you are finding these old threads. But, you will find that the "Naughty Chair" is frowned on strongly in these parts, just so you know. It is a hot topic if you want to discuss the pros and cons to the attachment relationship and the extrinsic motivation to change behavior. Fear and shaming are a great motivators, but are really damaging to trust and connection, imo.

Pat
post #47 of 86
Sorry, sorry! Not sure how these old threads popped up either; my computer has been wonky. Just saw the dates on em. Feel free to ignore!:
post #48 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by Boobs
I stopped watching that show when she taught a mom her sleep solution. It was so upsetting to watch I had to turn it off. This baby was screaming and crying in his crib and the mom was supposed to sit in the floor and ignore him. It was heartwrenching.
Boobs, I think that I saw this episode too... Did the Mum look slightly similiar to Julia Roberts? I think that this is the one. If it is the same episode, I was actually impressed at how the situation was dealt with. I felt an enormous amount of compassion for the Mother, because it was quite obvious that this was a woman who really was at the end of her tether, she was physically and emotionally exhausted because of hours and hours every night of trying to get the little boy to settle. Now, I know that it seemed very harsh that the little boy was screaming and crying to come out of his crib and she sat on the floor in his bedroom until he settled. And yes, when he finally realised that screaming wasn't going to result in Mum taking him out of the crib, he lay down and went to sleep. I don't think that it was about punishing the little boy, but about taking what seemed drastic measures so that a nightly routine could be established for the sake of the overall family happiness.

Had this not been done and the nightly routine established, it's quite possibly the Mother could have reached a complete breakdown point because of physical and mental exhaustion. If she reached that point, then both her children in the long term would have suffered. Yes, I found it unpleasant to watch the little boy being upset, but as it happened, the plan worked and the little boy developed the ability to settle at night and go to sleep without any problems. I really did feel for the Mum in this episode and I wanted to give her a big hug.

I have to admit, I really dislike the idea of the naughty corner/mat. I think that they are alienating and humiliating for the child involved.
post #49 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2Sweeties1Angel
I watched Supernanny once and it made me feel like the best parent in the world. I'm not even close to perfect, but damn those people made me look good!
Bless ya
post #50 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by Terabith
I don't watch religiously, but I did watch Supernanny pretty regularly for awhile. I actually really like her. She seems to genuinely like kids and has some good insights into families and techniques. I like that she emphasizes having fun as a family and the importance of rhythm/ routine. I don't like the whole CIO bedtime thing, although her version is less extreme than some I've heard of. And a lot of the families that they are dealing with are really incredibly extreme in behavior. I think in a lot of instances, the clear spelling out of rules and consequences makes everyone, including the kids, much much happier. It may not be GD, but it's a whole heck of a lot better than what was going on before she came!


I am always hoping they'll do a gd version. If they do, sign me up because I have a feisty toddler over here.
post #51 of 86
I personally think its a violation of the kids rights. Those shows make me ill. Mommy swap, any of the nanny shows. One time I watched it this little girl cried and cried that she didnt want the nanny at her house. I felt so bad for her.
post #52 of 86
I agree with the PPs in that what normally was passing for discipline in the homes is really bad and the Nanny techniques are a big step up. Nothing makes me cringe more when one of the parents yells vaguely "if you do that again, I am going to give you a spanking".

I have never seen a show where they did CIO for a very young child so I must have missed those episodes. I have seen where they hel parents get school age kids to sleep and I don't see a problem with it. One of them follows the plan that after 3 times of coming out of the room and then gently leading them back to bed and telling them its time to sleep that each subsequent time you simply lead them back to bed. As long as the parent doesn't get angry doing this, I think it gives the child the option of going to check if mom/dad are still there and available to them as often as they need to before they go to bed.

Maggie
post #53 of 86
Quote:
Now, I know that it seemed very harsh that the little boy was screaming and crying to come out of his crib and she sat on the floor in his bedroom until he settled. And yes, when he finally realised that screaming wasn't going to result in Mum taking him out of the crib, he lay down and went to sleep.


This is considered crying it out to many people who practice gentle discipline and CIO is not advocated on MDC. At least I thought it wasn't.
post #54 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by thismama
I don't know, I kind of like Supernanny.
I watch her because I think she's kind of sexy.
post #55 of 86
There are 2 different nanny shows... one has 3-4 different nannys that they alternate depending on the family and the situation (choose what they believe is the best one for the family out of the 3-4). The other one has only 1 nanny...

I don't really get to watch these shows much because i don't have certian channels on my digital cable... however i do enjoy watching them when I can.

I was raised in a "spanking" family... My dad always used the belt / hand ( which ever was accessable ) on my brother and I... so watching these shows has shown me alternative methods to disciplining my son..

We don't have a NAUGHTY CORNER in my house... but i do agree with the no hitting/ yelling/ etc policy that they stress.

I like how they get the parents to use the words " I don't like it when... " "it hurts mommy/daddy when...."

instead of : "DONT DO THAT!" "GO AWAY!" and etc...
post #56 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tinas3muskateers
I personally think its a violation of the kids rights. Those shows make me ill. Mommy swap, any of the nanny shows. One time I watched it this little girl cried and cried that she didnt want the nanny at her house. I felt so bad for her.
She was crying and crying because the nanny was finally enforcing rules of the house which should have been written for that family a long time ago.

Children don't like being told they can't do something when they are used to getting away with it
post #57 of 86
Quote:
Children don't like being told they can't do something
NOBODY likes being told they cannot do what they want to do. Many people would not like strangers with cameras to converge on them in their own home, either.


~Tracy
post #58 of 86
i can understand the cameras and people other than the nanny being an issue.. but at the end, the kids are all happy anyways and the family is in a better state.
post #59 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by captain crunchy
This is considered crying it out to many people who practice gentle discipline and CIO is not advocated on MDC. At least I thought it wasn't.
I never said anywhere in my post that I was an advocate of CIO... I was merely describing what had occured within that episode.
post #60 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaydens_mom
i can understand the cameras and people other than the nanny being an issue.. but at the end, the kids are all happy anyways and the family is in a better state.
How do we know? Because it shows so on TV?

I personally don't believe that a day-long or a week-long intervention can all of a sudden make kids "all happy"...

May be they are happy because it's finally over?
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