Is it wise to attempt UC if not happy with midwives available?

[Mommy_Pooh]

Hi everyone,

This is my first thread and post for that matter on MDC. I have been lurking a long time before I joined, and finally joined this month!


I'm looking for some advice and wisdom (and experiences, if you have any), of how wise it would be to attempt a UC after 2 typical hospital births. I would much much prefer to have a midwife assisted home/waterbirth. However, I have felt out the options for midwives around here (Ottawa, Ontario), and they seem very "medwives" oriented to me. For instance, when I said that I found all the typical early prenatal testing like blood tests and so many urine cultures annoying and unnecessary, they responded that it was required and typical prenatal care. Well I KNOW that, ugh, but I don't feel it's necessary! Also, it seemed like they implied that I would be lucky to get in at all, which to me imparts a real feeling of "you'd better be grateful we took you and don't you dare demand we change our ways". I got enough of that bs from my OB's office, TYVM!! :


A brief history about me - both of my pregnancies were very easy, no problems at all. My bp's were always within "perfect" range, no UTI's, no infections, negative everything, neg GBS, no pre-E, no preterm labor, etc etc. Both my sons were born at 37 weeks to the day, both were healthy and had Apgar's of 9 at 1 min. Vaginal births, less than 30 min of pushing with both. I had a long early labor with Tristan (took a week to dilate past 3 cm), but with Ben it was pretty much around 12 hours from early early ctx to birth. Tristan was 5lb11oz, and Ben 6lb8oz. Both went home after the typical stay of 2 days at the hospital.

The usual interventions with birth; epidural, episiotomy w/ Tristan (my ob said it was necessary b/c of some meconium in the womb, which turned out to be nothing at all), tore along old episiotomy site w/ Ben (I believe b/c of that damned rush coached pushing. UGH)

I'm perfectly healthy (26 YO), no abnormal gynecological anything - normal paps, no UTI's, heck, not even a yeast infection. So I know I'm very low risk.

The only health condition I have is a pre-existing anxiety disorder with depressive tendencies. Funnily enough, I realized this week that a LOT of my horrid PPA with my births can be contributed to my fear and aversion to hospitals. (Total germaphobe here, LOL. ) When I thought about having another baby under my previous type of care, I just dreaded it and felt the same horror. When I thought about having another baby and a homebirth, with minimal intervention in all of my prenatal care, I got very excited! To me, that tells me a lot - I'm not dreading another kid, I'm dreading another pregnancy with "standard" OB care.

I'm quite fearful of ending up with the same ol' hospital crap if I go with the midwives around here. They're licensed by the province, so I get the feeling they really end up very similar to the same type of prenatal care as the OB's. In fact, when I tried to ask about getting in, they told me they usually recc'ed women go with their GP's for early prenatal care. UGH!!!! : I despised both the GP's I had in early pregnancy. I went in to get checked for some cramping @ 9wks w/ Ben, and the stupid doc wrote me an abx script, saying I had a UTI. WTF??!?? This is without the urine culture btw. I was terrified I was having a m/c. When I asked her if I should get an US to check on things, she laughed (yes LAUGHED me off), and said "You should trust us, we know what we're doing." UGH. My urine culture came back neg, btw. :


I haven't yet posted on the "Finding your tribe" forum, but I will. I did do a quick search and didn't find much info regarding MW in the Ottawa region.


So I guess I would like to know if it's totally crazy to attempt a UC if I can't find a midwife I trust? Obviously it's waaaaaay early planning, LOL, I'm not even 100% sure I'm fertile again yet, but I want to do my research and be confident of my decisions so I can be prepared when we do get preggo again.

Also, how should I go about learning more about UC? What are some good books and so forth to read up on?

Funnily enough, when I told dh I would do a UC before I went back to that damned hospital if I couldn't find a good MW, he actually agreed! How amazing is that?



Thanks to everyone in advance. I appreciate your insight and expertise!! I am continuing to read this forum, and I'm learning lots.

[Sea_Gal]

Reading UC Birth stories helped me want to become a mom.
They are amazingly beautiful stories.
But I think it has to be something you want.
I don't thing UC is something you settle for.

Here are some websites to check out:
http://www.ucbirth.com (Book)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unassisted_childbirth (many links)

Good luck on your journey!

[Mommy_Pooh]

Thanks for the links! I will certainly check them out.


I definitely *want* a homebirth/waterbirth. I'm just scared of doing it unassisted! No matter what, I don't want another hospital birth. So yes, I want to have my next baby at home, but I don't want to endanger him/her either b/c I'm not prepared enough, or I'm not able to know when there's a serious problem that requires hospital transfer, etc.


I certainly need to do a lot more research and reading though. Thanks for getting me started!

[clovergirl]

you can also start doing some digging and networking now to see if there are any traditional (ie, "lay") midwives in your area who attend homebirths. i remember reading about how in many parts of canada there are still unlicensed MWs attending births.

[Snowdrift]

DH and I have already decided that if our upcoming midwife-assisted homebirth goes well and is uncomplicated, for subsequent babies we will do UC's of the "oops, didn't get to the hospital on time" variety.

Our main reason is that we cannot afford homebirth with midwives (this one is causing *major* hardship) and I have serious depression/anxiety issues and hospitals inevitable precipitate episodes of extreme anxiety and can trigger major depressive episodes lasting for months.

So, yeah, not only would I UC if avialble midwifery care was not an option, but I am planning on it.

[Mommy_Pooh]

I will look into the lay-MW option, though I can't say I have any idea where to look. Hmm. I'm nervous about that option though, since I'd have a hard time letting a licensed MW into my home (can't you tell I'm neurotic, LOL ) let alone an unlicensed one. I'm sure there are some great lay-MW out there, but I dunno if I could ever fully trust someone with something so intimate. I'd need a LOT of references! Worth researching at the very least though. I'm now thinking that it might even be an idea to recruit my MIL (we're very close) into being my birthcoach/doula/MW substitute.

Originally Posted by tie-dyed

DH and I have already decided that if our upcoming midwife-assisted homebirth goes well and is uncomplicated, for subsequent babies we will do UC's of the "oops, didn't get to the hospital on time" variety.

Our main reason is that we cannot afford homebirth with midwives (this one is causing *major* hardship) and I have serious depression/anxiety issues and hospitals inevitable precipitate episodes of extreme anxiety and can trigger major depressive episodes lasting for months.

So, yeah, not only would I UC if avialble midwifery care was not an option, but I am planning on it.

: ITA!!! That is me to a T. I can't believe it took me so long to realize that perhaps my PPD/PPA issues were related to the HOSPITAL and prenatal care I rec'vd and not necessarily the pregnancy itself. It never even occured to me to separate the two until now.


I had the worst PPD/PPA with Tristan. And with Ben, I had a bit, but not as bad - I thought it was the Zoloft I took in the third tri heading off the PPA. But all my anxieties ARE tied to dr's, hospitals, etc - I'm a total germaphobic, and too much "exposure" sets off my totally out of control OCD. It took me months each time to "decontaminate". I spent the last tri in each case mentally gearing myself up for the hospital.


Yeesh, I feel like an idiot now. The good thing is, in Ontario MW is covered under the healthcare plan....but so far all the MW I've chatted with operate far more like OB's than what I imagined MW should be. :

[pique]

Originally Posted by clovergirl

you can also start doing some digging and networking now to see if there are any traditional (ie, "lay") midwives in your area who attend homebirths. i remember reading about how in many parts of canada there are still unlicensed MWs attending births.

We are prettty much in your situation but are in Quebec. We have found a lay midwife (not licensed here) who has attended over 800 births and was able to give great references. So... they are out there. It will cost us $1000 to go this route for a homebirth. We will claim it was a UC.

As previous posters have suggested, research until you find a solution you can live with. Good luck!

[Mommy_Pooh]

Pique - OH! Great to hear. You wouldn't happen to know if your MW has any good references to any experienced lay-MW in the Ottawa area? I would really really appreciate if you would PM me if she does. Thanks so very much!


How are you handling the whole birth certificate thing? I'm very confused about how to get a BC if you have a UC. Everywhere I read you need that Statement of Live Birth. So what do you do if you can't get one from a hospital or licensed MW?

Would love to hear what you're planning to do to get your BC. Thanks so much!

[Emilie]

Good luck to you. I think that if you feel it is what you want to do- go for it! I love the UC births on here!
.

[sapphire_chan]

1. You would prefer a UC.
2. Your husband supports your decision to do a UC.
=
3. You're a perfect candidate for doing a UP/UC and I wish you the best of luck!

[Mommy_Pooh]

Emilie - THANK YOU for the support! I know most people in my circle IRL would think I was insane....thank GOD for this wonderful site and all you wonderful ladies who have helped me realize what a wonderful and natural thing childbirth really is.

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

1. You would prefer a UC.
2. Your husband supports your decision to do a UC.
=
3. You're a perfect candidate for doing a UP/UC and I wish you the best of luck!

This really clarified it for me! You're so right. It's all about getting informed, being confident, and not letting the fear and societal pressure get in the way isn't it?

Well, still got a lot of thinking to do. I'm not giving up on finding a good fit with a MW yet, still want to talk to some doulas, investigate lay-MW options, etc etc. I guess I just get nervous about the "what-ifs". That, and some logistical problems like how to get an u/s (I would want one at around 20 weeks to make sure there aren't any major fetal anomalies or defects), and how to get a birth certificate if I wasn't being followed by an OB or licensed MW. Hmmmmm.

I just ordered "Birthing from Within", so I figure this'll be a good book to start with. Knowledge is power, as I always say. When in doubt - learn, learn, learn, learn some more!



On a different topic, I AM concerned about my supply disappearing if I get preggo again. I really really don't want Ben to wean due to my milk dwindling due to pregnancy hormones. So far, I'm just busy pumping like mad to build up a very generous freezer stash in case I have to supplement with some EBM. I hear your supply does come back in the third tri at the very least though, and I know Ben ain't giving up his favorite boobies anytime soon! (He won't take a bottle anymore).

[lesliesara63]

Sandra
I don't have time to do a full reply but since you're from Ottawa I had to jump in. I live in Windsor and we have but TWO midwives for the whole city - so whether I like them or not I'll just deal with them. At this point in time I'm not prepared for a UC. Apparently one of ours is a medwife & the other isn't, but they are in practice together. I want a homebirth badly enough to take my chances. I've heard that its very difficult to get midwifery care many places in Canada. My friend who is due in July called a practice in Montreal the day she took her test & has never heard back from them. Best of luck.

[Ruthla]

Another option is to use the "medwives" for prenatal care, and then have labor "go so fast you didn't have time to call the midwife until it was over." So you have your peaceful UC, then the midwife comes to your home to do all the paperwork, and then she leaves.

Stressfull as it may be to deal with them for prenatal care and "fighting with them" over tests you may want to avoid, this might be a good compromise.

[Mommy_Pooh]

LESLIE - Ugh, you DO have it worse than me. That stinks! I wonder why good MW's are so hard to find in Canada? : Terrible about your friend too. We have 3 practices in my cachment area. One I basically got the "you're lucky if you get in with us and you'd better do what I say" message : , the second I've called and emailed but never heard back from (now I'm really not expecting much after what you told me 'bout your friend), and the third is french - haven't tried them yet, but I'll try to brush up on my francais and give it a go soon.

Not too promising. I wonder if it's b/c we have our universal health care system and all, that people don't need to pay out of pocket for care and therefore want OB's b/c they're supposed to be the "best"?? As opposed to, say, in the US if you have to pay more for an OB (I have NO clue if this is true btw, forgive me if it isn't ), maybe more people would want a MW? Just thinking out loud



RUTHLA - hey! I LOVE your idea! That might work. I'd have to find out if the MW's around here did their prenatals exactly like OB's though, b/c if they did, well, what's the point..... I despise (and irrationally feared, thanks to my OCD) "routine" OB care. UGH.



Someone will have to tell me WHY they "need" to get you to do blood tests from everything from confirming your pregnancy, to testing you for the whole whackload of STD's from HIV to syphillis.

I can understand if this was an OB you never saw before, but I had the same OB with both pregnancies, less than 2 years apart!! : What, they really think I contracted HIV or another STD since then, or that I lost my rubella immunity?

And don't even get me started on the whole peeing in a cup thing, which I absolutely despise.



Thanks so much for all the suggestions ladies. You've been a great help! I got a lot of homework to do, starting with researching doulas around here and see if they know anyone that would meet my needs. It's frustrating - it seems like you really need to line up your MW about a month BEFORE you get that BFP!