DH emailed our doc Update post #70 - Page 3

[ani'smommy]

If she does, we can help construct a re-reply back to her.

Just to add to her homework....

Thank you so much, everyone has been so helpful.

[ani'smommy]

Originally Posted by Drummer's Wife

I have a feeling that if she does email back it will be a brief statement on how she believes strongly in vaccinating but respects your wishes (just as she said on the phone) I would be shocked if a practicing pediatrician, even a non-mainstream one would openly admit the possiblility that their patients (or parent's of) know more than they do, especially when they are making the majority of their income from immunizations.

Me too. I will be very surprised if she admits that she is even a little wrong. At this point, I am happy that she sees it as a parental choice thing. She is not the type to push it after we have said what we want, I don't think. I think if we had just said "we have decided not to vax," she would have said okay, but Dh wanted to have this whole dialogue, so here we are.

I don't really expect more than the usual VIS info and CDC propaganda.

[ani'smommy]

Originally Posted by mamakay

Could you just firmly assert your desire for the dialogue to continue by mail as opposed to in person, in light of your "disability" regarding face-to-face confrontation?

Yeah, maybe. Especially since I honestly don't see DH making and appointment and taking off of work to go see her. I told him already that I didn't want to go. I could probably say that we are too busy right now. Does that sound like a lame excuse? lol

[mamakay]

Originally Posted by ani'smommy

Yeah, maybe. Especially since I honestly don't see DH making and appointment and taking off of work to go see her. I told him already that I didn't want to go. I could probably say that we are too busy right now. Does that sound like a lame excuse? lol

I'd just be totally honest about the fact that you don't handle these kinds of things well in person, and that communication would be better achieved by letter.

Is your dh all gung ho about meeting in person to discuss it?
Would he mind if it was continued by email?

ETA: How good of a friend is she?
Would she understand if you just said you didn't want to have a "talk" where you got frustrated and ended up getting too emotional?
I'm like that, too...I don't think it's too strange or uncommon...

[MamaRabbit]

Originally Posted by TigerTail

it's just the silly word; it wants to be pronounced 'thimoseral', doesn't it? it wants to be like 'aluminium' & have a posh pronunciation too, i think. i would be surprised if the dr you said it too didn't stumble on it him/herself. 'adjuvant' slips right off the tongue, but bugger all if i can say 'thimerosal' properly either.

they need to change it! if 'loose' can become so acceptable for 'lose' no one even bothers to point it out anymore, we can dang well demand our thimoseral!

My brain did a dyslexic thing on me, and when I read it, it says Thermisol

[Kellie_MO4]

Originally Posted by Kannon99

My brain did a dyslexic thing on me, and when I read it, it says Thermisol

LOL that's how I always saw it, too!

[L'lee]

ani'smommy,

If your DH does decide to go meet with the ped, I'm not sure that he should go alone... if you aren't there she might be able to brain wash him? If you are there, you can at least take notes and talk to him about it later? Just a thought. I can also see why you'd rather just stay out of it, and hopefully your DH won't press the issue and you can avoid the situation altogether. It will probably come up at some point during an appointment, though...

I hope she writes a response, and soon!

[Jen123]

Thigh mare uh sol. For me ,easy to say , hard to spell.

I'm glad I finally learned "Titers".... It is not TIT-urs. Talk about red faced! Long I. (smack on forehead)...TYE-turs.

another one I finally learned is Efficacy. Ee-fick-a-see.

[ani'smommy]

ETA: How good of a friend is she?
Would she understand if you just said you didn't want to have a "talk" where you got frustrated and ended up getting too emotional?

That is such a good idea. I don't know why I can't just be upfront about it. Thank you

[Momtezuma Tuatara]

Another thing. Doctors aren't quite so likely to write bulldust. If they write it, you can't prove it, but if they say it, you can hang them with it.

[mamachandi]

intersesting

[boobear]

Great letter, well done!!

[ani'smommy]

Originally Posted by Momtezuma Tuatara

Another thing. Doctors aren't quite so likely to write bulldust. If they write it, you can't prove it, but if they say it, you can hang them with it.

I'm pretty sure you mean the other way around, but that is a very good point. I think since she is a family friend maybe she will feel more comfortable responding in writing. At least that's what I'm hoping.

[morning glory]

If DH insists on having an appointment to discuss you could go with the idea that it is just to hear her side...as another poster said just take notes so you can discuss it with your husband later. If she or your husband try to bait you into an argument just say "we're just here to hear your opinion." Its really not appropriate for you and your husband to argue in front of a friend and your Dr.

Maybe she would make an extra effort since you are a friend but I kinda doubt she'll want to make a real appointment with you anyway...Dr's are busy and time is money and all that.

Probably she'll just do the "respecting your decision" thing to avoid any discussion of it...or having to research it

Casey

[ani'smommy]

So DH emailed our doc again to see if we could get some kind of response. He emailed her almost two months ago and we have not heard anything from her. His email to her:

We never heard back from you on our email of concerns over the vaccine
issue.

Do you still have the email? If not I can probably re-send it. Please let me know that you get this message and about when we can expect to
hear back from you.

And her response:

I got your e-mail and planned on talking to you directly, but I've been
swamped with end of the year stuff and a 2 week illness. I'll get back to
you guys soon and in person as long as I am healthy by this weekend. I do
have opinions on this and have discussed this with many patients.

DH is going to email her back and ask her for her response in writing as opposed to in person. We both really want a direct response to our specific concerns, not just her generic spiel, so we'll see. I'm about ready to find another doc, but it will be interesting to see if DH will be able to get her to actually address our issues.

[LongIsland]

If you do meet in person to discuss, I would take the email with you and highlight all the questions so they're handy and easy to find.

. . . and please don't forget to cross-post in my ped scaremongering thread.

[ani'smommy]

Originally Posted by LongIsland

If you do meet in person to discuss, I would take the email with you and highlight all the questions so they're handy and easy to find.

. . . and please don't forget to cross-post in my ped scaremongering thread.

I am really trying to avoid meeting in person, but I will definatly be taking the letter along, that's a great idea.

LOL I'm sure I will have lots to say in the scaremongering thread!

[mom2tig99Nroo03]

so you're meeting tonight or tomorrow?

[Kirsten]

I think I might be in the minority here..... I think the email was well written but it feels a little "we are trying too hard to get you to accept the choice we are trying to make" to me. Like you NEED her to understand all your reasons and validate them. A little too "parent/child" feeling to me - like she has the final word and you are pleading your case.

You don't need her to understand, validate or acccept your choice/reasons at all. You are the parents. You researched it; you decided. She can be ok with it - which is great especially since she is also a family friend. Or she can think it is the wrong choice. Either way doesn't change a thing. Your dh needs to get to the place where he takes what the medical profession says with a grain of salt. Their hands are tied a bit by insurance premiums, the AMA or AAP, etc.

I wouldn't expect anything in writing other than the standard pro-vax stuff. She won't put in writing anything that will come back to bite her later - why would she? Why do you even need her to? There doesn't need to be any more emails or in person talks or anything. Your dh just needs to get ok with making healthcare decisions for your child - using a combination of research from many areas, of whom your doctor is only one. She has already said she won't drop you for not vaxxing - that is all you need to know.

I personally vax my kids on a delayed schedule, with some new or minor vaxes dropped altogether. I am very comfortable with what I'm doing - well, not VERY but I feel it is the best of many choices for us. I know our ped (whom I really trust and like very much) would rather I vax fully on the AAP schedule, but he is very respectful of my choices for MY children. If he couldn't then he wouldn't be our ped. I must say that I am really respectful of him and his position also though. I don't need him to put in writing that my position is valid - I know it is.

[ani'smommy]

Well, that's her plan, but we are going to try to avoid a face to face meeting, so we'll see what happens. I think Kevin was going to write her back today and tell her that we would prefer a direct written response to our concerns.