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dad on strike because of co-sleeping - Page 3

post #41 of 87
I can't believe this guy. There are so many people like him too. When my oldest son was born, we had to stay in the hosp. I was allowed to keep him in my room. I had a nurse come in and tell me then that I shouldn't let him sleep with me like that. He would get spoiled to the body heat and I'd never get him out of my bed. He is now two and starting to want to sleep in his own bed. Some nights he goes straight to his own room and yells "night night", other times he goes straight to my room. I let him do what feels right for him at the time. I actually hate that he is starting to want to sleep on his own. I know that my nights with him are now numbered. Thank God for my precious husband who supports me and the needs of our children.
post #42 of 87
Quote:
Originally Posted by TinkerBelle

You cannot just totally forget your marriage, and the needs of your husband because you have children. And before someone decides to flame, I do not mean you just let your child lie there and scream and whine while you get "busy" or even if you are just having dinner and being together. But, the man has feelings too. If my husband ignored my needs and told me I would have to wait 3-4 yrs, I would tell him where to go and how to get there.
exactly!!
post #43 of 87
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sharlla
Well you are posting in the family bed section and almost everyone on this site is for cosleeping, so year, you would be in the minority.
I'm well aware of the forum I'm posting in.....what I meant is I believe I'm in the minority because I'm making as case for the dad.
I'm an advocate for co-sleeping, but I realize it doesn't work for *everybody*.
post #44 of 87
Yes, but it is working for this mother and her baby. Her husband needs to step back and realize that there are other people in that house with needs beside him. And I'm sorry, but I think that an infant's needs are more important than a grown man who can take care of himself.
post #45 of 87
I saw this story on CNN this morning. It made me so mad. Even DH was surprised a guy would go to such lengths for something that should have remained private.

I can't keep my big mouth shut so I left a 3 paragraph comment on his stupid site.
post #46 of 87
Oh, I just posted this in another thread, I'll post what I did again here.

OK, first please do NOT go to his blog. But if you *did* go to his blog, you would notice that he has a bunch of ads to the side... a friend of mine on another board noticed this, and became curious and did some searches on various info on his blog, and she thinks that it is a money-making scheme possibly... I encouraged her to email the local ABC affliate here, which she did... here is some of what she sent:


Quote:
I have a strong suspicion that the husband on strike is just a PR stunt in order to get people to visit his site and click on adsense ads. In doing searches on google, I've run across his name, and/or a phone number for several other sites, that all seemed gimmicky.

The e-mail address on his blog is tpaper04@yahoo.com which led to the toiletpolitics.com a site from 2004 with john kerry and george w bush on it. There was a phone number listed with that site and googling that phone number led to several other sites, no longer available as sites but the descriptions still in google...


http://www.TheBreakUpBox.COM/
http://www.AmazingInstantMate.com/

I also did a whois on godaddy.com for www.husbandonstrike.com, which led to another phone number, and a search for that one showed that the same guy put his mortgage up for auction on ebay.

Just seems like one more scheme in a long line of PR schemes...

As an attached parent, this saddens me. I was really upset by the story and the disregard for his 2 month old's needs. If it does turn out to be a publicity stunt, it makes it that much more sad.

I tend to agree with her- I think that after the big SAHM/WOHM debate on ABC recently (Linda Hirschman) that he decided to try to take advantage of some free publicity to make money.
post #47 of 87
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mavournin
Yes, but it is working for this mother and her baby. Her husband needs to step back and realize that there are other people in that house with needs beside him. And I'm sorry, but I think that an infant's needs are more important than a grown man who can take care of himself.
The child's needs ARE important, I agree whole heartedly. I still stand by my opinion though. That bed is his, as much as it is his wife's. That house is his, as much as it is his wife's. Their marriage is a partnership. Love, honor and respect. I see no honor or respect being prioritised by either the mom or dad. When the dad expressed disagreement with the idea of co-sleeping, the wife should've said, "ok, how can we make a compromise".
The suggestion in this thread that she should divorce him just FLOORS me!! Is that really the best solution here? Is a broken family what is in the best interest for the kids? Absolutely not!
My husband is just as important to me as my son is. I don't think the husband is being unreasonable in wanting to have his bed to himself and his wife. His actions are a bit over the top, I'll give y'all that. What's ridiculous though, is that it has gotten this far, and the wife is going along with it. Seems to me that it has become an issue of pride. Niether one of them wants to be the first to back down......great parenting *insert sarcasm*
post #48 of 87
Hey, did you know the guy is winning onthe ABC poll :s head:: I did go to the blog, and leave a message. Can't seem to find it now, though! I suggested he get No Cry Sleep Solution by Eliz. Pantley, and this morning I noticed EP has left a message there, too!

The husband is so selfish, if he really thinks co-sleeping is a problem. What about his wife's sleep! She needs that more than he needs ummm... errrrr.. you KWIM...
post #49 of 87
This has nothing to do with the kids in the bed and EVERYTHING to do with Dad. He's got issues and is using the kids in the bed for an excuse. I can not even imagine my dh PUBLICLY airing our family issues for the world to see, and debate. I would feel so violated. And for me, him doing this is bigger than him not wanting the kids in the bed. And...um...how did mom get pregnant with #2 if he wasn't getting any???? Looks like things are fine there. And um...babe is 3 months old. What did he think was going to happen when #2 came? Who wants to bet he doesn't do anything to help nightime parent these kids so mom of course does what is easiest and co sleeps with them.


The fact that he did this so publicly just infuriates me....jerk!
post #50 of 87
Did anybody else notice that he:

1) said his baby "refuses" to fall asleep
2) said his wife was "spoiling" the kids (spoiling a less than 3-month-old!!)
3) "estimated" his son's bedtime at 11:30 - what does an estimate mean?

He's got some kind of issue about his kids. I wonder if his next line will be that the kids are manipulating his wife into paying attention to them...

At less than 3 months pp, while chasing dd around, I think I'd have smacked dh if he was pushing me to be more romantic or have more alone time.
post #51 of 87
I read on one of the comments on the blog that this guy is A REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER! Omgosh....
post #52 of 87
Quote:
Originally Posted by JamesMama
I read on one of the comments on the blog that this guy is A REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER! Omgosh....
Yeah, me too. James Wilson of Redford MI, age 34 is on the registered sex offenders site http://mipsor.state.mi.us/mipsor/cgi-bin/mipsorn.exe. I wonder if it is really him :
post #53 of 87
This dude is acting like a rebellious teenager, NOT a husband. I'd be calling a lawyer if my husband slandered me like that!
post #54 of 87
Okay, I just wasted 20 minutes of my life reading the comments on his blog, but this one was just the inspiration I needed after another long night of my son kicking me in his sleep....

Dear Dad, I was once a mom who held my kid till he fell asleep at night, cuddled with him if he had a bad dream, etc, etc... Now, I savor every moment that I did and will NEVER regret it. After valiently serving his country at war, my son, Ian, was tragically killed. He had grown into a kind, unselfish, brave, intelligent man who was only too happy to serve his country to enable folks like you the freedom to sit on a roof and start a web site to tell the world why. PLEASE, PLEASE follow your wife's lead: savor every sight, smell, feel of your kids. Remember every baby coo and giggle, the scent of baby powder on their clean, soft skin, the look in their eyes as they open, only half-awake and drift back to sleep contently after finding their mom AND dad are there to keep them safe.
I promise you that you won't regret it. It will only seem like tomorrow that they walk out the door to begin lives of their own. Yes, you may loose some romantic opportunities along the way, but I promise you, you won't regret it. Go be the leader of your family...your wife needs a partner and your kids need their dad.
post #55 of 87
The 3rd post on his blog shows a picture of him, there is also a picture of the sex offender "James Wilson" on the MI SOR...I can't tell if it's the same guy or not.
post #56 of 87
Quote:
Originally Posted by risala
Dear Dad, I was once a mom who held my kid till he fell asleep at night, cuddled with him if he had a bad dream, etc, etc... Now, I savor every moment that I did and will NEVER regret it. After valiently serving his country at war, my son, Ian, was tragically killed. He had grown into a kind, unselfish, brave, intelligent man who was only too happy to serve his country to enable folks like you the freedom to sit on a roof and start a web site to tell the world why. PLEASE, PLEASE follow your wife's lead: savor every sight, smell, feel of your kids. Remember every baby coo and giggle, the scent of baby powder on their clean, soft skin, the look in their eyes as they open, only half-awake and drift back to sleep contently after finding their mom AND dad are there to keep them safe.
I promise you that you won't regret it. It will only seem like tomorrow that they walk out the door to begin lives of their own. Yes, you may loose some romantic opportunities along the way, but I promise you, you won't regret it. Go be the leader of your family...your wife needs a partner and your kids need their dad.
post #57 of 87
I was just coming here to post about the sex offender thing...yep it is definitely the same guy. When I first heard about it I just had a bad, bad feeling. UGHHHH!!!!

WHY ARE THE MEDIA OUTLETS RUNNING THIS GUY'S STORY AS A SERIOUS THING???? I am just in shock over this. Truly.
post #58 of 87
sex-offender = control-freak = husband-on-strike = selfish jerk.

All makes perfect sense.
post #59 of 87


:Puke :Puke :Puke :Puke :Puke :Puke :Puke :Puke


Ahh....no, wait a minute not quite done yet....:Puke

There, I think I'm done. Now I need to go brush my teeth
post #60 of 87
It seems his "webpage" is no longer there, just a bunch of adds... It probably started raining....
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