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dad on strike because of co-sleeping - Page 4

post #61 of 87
Sounds like it is him...

08475173
Name: WILSON/JAMES// Sex: M Race: B Dob: 11/29/1972
Height: 508 Weight: 130 Hair: BLACK Eye: BROWN
Address: 15759 WORMER City: REDFORD TWP State: MI Zip: 48239
Offense: 750.520C Description: CRIMINAL SEXUAL CONDUCT 2ND DEGREE (MULTIPLE VARIABLES)

http://mipsor.state.mi.us/mipsor/images/08475173.jpg
post #62 of 87
Quote:
Originally Posted by frenchie
The child's needs ARE important, I agree whole heartedly. I still stand by my opinion though. That bed is his, as much as it is his wife's. That house is his, as much as it is his wife's. Their marriage is a partnership. Love, honor and respect. I see no honor or respect being prioritised by either the mom or dad. When the dad expressed disagreement with the idea of co-sleeping, the wife should've said, "ok, how can we make a compromise".
The suggestion in this thread that she should divorce him just FLOORS me!! Is that really the best solution here? Is a broken family what is in the best interest for the kids? Absolutely not!
My husband is just as important to me as my son is. I don't think the husband is being unreasonable in wanting to have his bed to himself and his wife. His actions are a bit over the top, I'll give y'all that. What's ridiculous though, is that it has gotten this far, and the wife is going along with it. Seems to me that it has become an issue of pride. Niether one of them wants to be the first to back down......great parenting *insert sarcasm*
I was not one to say that she should divorce him. But as a child of divorced parents, I feel like I must stand up and say that not all divorced households are "broken families". In fact, in my particular experience, my parents getting divorced made me a much happier and well adjusted child. Living with parents who fought constantly was hellacious. Afterwards I had two peaceful and loving homes instead of one sad and scary one.

But, to get back on topic, I think it's clear to everyone that this guy's marriage has more issues than who sleeps in what bed and how much sex they have. To take to your roof over an infant in the marital bed tells me that there is something else there.

I think maybe you cannot see that blog if you are linking from MDC, because if I try the link in the OP I get a blank page, but if I type in the address I get it right away. I think maybe we've been blocked.

Sex offender?
post #63 of 87
So I was going to stay out of this, but my two quick thoughts are:
Some people are saying that he has a right to be upset about cosleeping. I will agree that it needs to be a mutual decision, or at least compromise. But the issue for me isn't that he objects to cosleeping, it's the WAY he is going about doing it. If my husband objected to cosleeping, we would find a way to work it out. If my huband moved onto the roof and threw a national temper tantrum... I would definitly be changing the locks.
Also, I keep thinking, what on earth is this guy telling his toddler when he asks why daddy is living on the roof?
Amber - happily cosleeping momm to Ian 2/17/05
post #64 of 87
Quote:
Originally Posted by iveyrock
So I was going to stay out of this, but my two quick thoughts are:
Some people are saying that he has a right to be upset about cosleeping. I will agree that it needs to be a mutual decision, or at least compromise. But the issue for me isn't that he objects to cosleeping, it's the WAY he is going about doing it. If my husband objected to cosleeping, we would find a way to work it out.
Honestly..this is all I'm trying to say. I'm not sticking up for the guy personally, or his actions (which are juvenile at best)...just the reason why he's doing this. I'm floored that it has gone this far....and the wife is allowing it!! The whole thing is ridiculous!!

Mavournin....I absolutely agree with you (and I know you didn't suggest divorce) I come from a broken home, not a civil divorce situation. I have known very few intact famillies in my life. I know of one person (my husband) who didn't have to endure a bad family split. His parents were civil and remained close friends for the sake of their son. I'm a firm believer in fighting for a marriage, especially when there are children involved...but alas, not everybody can work things out, and divorce is the best option in those cases.
Also, I agree with you about there being other issues in this marriage....it isn't just about the co-sleeping. There is obvious termoil between the two of them, and this display of poor behavior falls on both of the parents IMO. I think both of them deserve a brow beating and a lesson in civility. They obviously have no ability to communicate properly. I feel sorry for the kids....the husband and wife deserve eachother as far as I'm concerned.

What woman has children with a REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER??? and then expects him to be a compassionate father??? Seriously...I can't be the only momma who has a problem with this! This woman needs to wake up and smell the da*n coffee!!!!
post #65 of 87
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by frenchie
Let me preface by saying we practiced co-sleeping up until my son's 3rd b-day. The *only* reason why we are in the process of getting ds to sleep in his bed, is because my husband wants our bed back to ourselves. He has expressed this for about 2 years, and has sleeped in another room, or on the couch several times. Of course *I* love sleeping with ds....the husbnad is over it!
When we got married, we agreed that our marriage was a *partnership*. We don't do "it's my way or the highway". I think the issue of selfishness falls on the mother's in this case, not entirely on the father's. They are ignoring the needs of their husbands, and ignoring the feelings of their husbands. A compromise can be made to make everybody happy. It appears that there is NO compromise being made by anybody. IMO, an intact peaceful family and home is more important than co-sleeping. MOST people in my generation (30 somethings) slept in cribs....I have yet to meet a person of any age who has hangups about sleeping in a crib. Seriously, I feel bad for the husbands, and I realize that I'm totally in the minority.
Babies don't understand compromise. This is about the baby's need not the mothers and fathers.

And have you noticed how many new sleep medications that are on the market now? I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't related to the bad sleep habits our parents gave us as children.
post #66 of 87
Quote:
Originally Posted by frenchie
What woman has children with a REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER??? and then expects him to be a compassionate father??? Seriously...I can't be the only momma who has a problem with this! This woman needs to wake up and smell the da*n coffee!!!!
That is something I do not understand either.
I would never put my child at risk living with a man who is a sex offender.
post #67 of 87
post #68 of 87
Quote:
Originally Posted by irinam
Interesting.

Especially this line: "I feel like, wow, in 24 hours, I was a king, helping families and inspiring men and now I'm the scum of the earth," he said.

ehhhhh...maybe I might have phrased that differently...
post #69 of 87
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamao'two
Babies don't understand compromise. This is about the baby's need not the mothers and fathers.

And have you noticed how many new sleep medications that are on the market now? I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't related to the bad sleep habits our parents gave us as children.

I agree that the baby's needs are paramount....however, there is a compromise that can be made in this case that could satisfy everybody, and meet the nedds of each person.

As for the second part of your post...no, I don't think it has anything to do with what you are aluding to. I slept in a crib, and I have always, and still do sleep very well. My husband slept in a crib, and has always been, and still is a very restless sleeper. I think the reason we're seeing so many sleeping aids on the market now, is because of the food we eat, the amount of caffeine we drink and the lifestyles we lives.....I don't think it has anything to do with childhood sleeping habits.
post #70 of 87
Quote:
Originally Posted by irinam

It does not say WHAT he did, though. Let's be fair until we find out. "Sex Offender" can be anything from a rapist/child molester, down to just mooning someone, or even peeing in a bush and getting caught. Not that I would advocate doing either of those, but still. Until we can find out what he did, we cannot really assume too much.

I would not put a person who was silly and mooned people, in with a child molester or rapist.

I am intrigued though.
post #71 of 87
This guy is having the adult version of a temper tantrum. I'm going to go on the roof and pout until you change your mind and do as I say.. So THERE!!!

What a jerk!
post #72 of 87
I agree with TinkerBelle
Like I've said many times, I came This__ close to becoming a sex offender when I was 18 & almost sold a 17 year old a porn mag at a conv. store I worked in, Happens more often then people think.
post #73 of 87
well if it were such a tiny thing he'd probably be singing that to the rooftops as well (pun intended). if it were something so minor he wouldn't be talking about how he's been saved, he's a new man, he's changed, blah friggin blah. if it were so minor, why isn't he rattling off exactly what happened? explaining himself? he's clearly not one to avoid airing his dirty laundry...although i suppose it depends on exactly how dirty it is.
post #74 of 87

Did anyone see Hathor on this?

Just to make light of a horrible situation, had to link to my hero, Hathor the Cow Goddess...

http://www.thecowgoddess.com/archshow.asp?var=228

Hope that can bring a little laugh everyone's way!
post #75 of 87
Quote:
Originally Posted by darsmama
I agree with TinkerBelle
Like I've said many times, I came This__ close to becoming a sex offender when I was 18 & almost sold a 17 year old a porn mag at a conv. store I worked in, Happens more often then people think.
2nd degree *criminal sexual conduct*.....I'm sure it's not something as trivial as what you almost got listed for.
post #76 of 87
I hope he has a nice time sleeping on the couch!
post #77 of 87
Sounds serious to me.
Quote:
Wilson is listed on Michigan’s public sex offender registry and acknowledged that he faced multiple charges in an assault and pled guilty to a lesser charge and served five years probation.
(bold mine)

I sure hope that mama sees the light and gets her children safely away from him.
post #78 of 87
If any husband is in such dire emotional need of being next to his wife all night long, at the expense of isolating their baby and denying the baby's instinctive and biological need for that constant physical contact... yes, I feel sorry for the husband, because he has some serious issues, and I doubt his wife giving in and "compromising" is going to fix them.
post #79 of 87
This man has serious emotional issues.

As does the woman if she knowingly married and had children with a sex offender.

Neither, in my opinion, are people in a suitable position to raise healthy children.

However as far as the 'strike' is concerned, the mother is in the right.

The needs of an infant take precedence over the needs of adults. That's parenting. That's life. It's time for him to grow up and accept the responsibilities of being a father. If he can't, then he has no business being a father.

Not that he should have ever been given the opportunity to be one in the first place.
post #80 of 87
I just think it is stupid on his part, knowing that he is a registered sex offender, to do something immature as going on strike because his wife won't take the kids out of their bedroom.
I mean, did he really think this wasn't going to leak out?
We're not in the 1950's anymore where we didn't have google to google things up.
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