rarh, rarh, rarh <vent with me!> - Page 2

[mikeandtoribaby]

Dear Co-Workers:
I put on my socks and shoes every morning by myself, I think I can bend down and get a piece of paper off the printer. And no I am not going to injure the baby by bending over. Yes, I am big and I will have this baby when he decides to come out and not before.

Dear Everyone:
This baby will come when he wants to come so stop giving me dates of when you want the baby to arrive, so that it fits you schedule.

Dear MIL:
I really appreciate all that you have and will do for your grandchild. However, I am not going to let our new and first little angel spend the summer days with you instead of with me and your son. I do not plan on letting him spend the night or be out of my reach for the first several months, no matter how emotional you get.

Dear Mother:
You are a wonderful woman and I am glad you want to help, but the only reason you are staying at the house, is because I am not in the position to deal with your attitude. You know my and my husband's stance and we will like to have some private time with our little one once we bring him home, so woarning.....if you see is move into another room or go into our bedroom with the baby and close the door, get the hint. Also if, well when I wake up in the mornings to breastfeed, no, I do NOT want you to get up with me and I should not have to lock myself in our bedroom to have to do that. Respect the privacy. You are going to be with us all day, we will need a break, especially my husband.

Dear Husband:
You are a wonderful husband and I am glad that you are so helpful and understanding most of the time. However, I do not like sitting at a desk all day from 7am to 4pm and then driving downtown in traffic to go to class until 9pm. The chairs are hard and uncomfortable and it is not worth my time to go downtown to class when I know we are going to sit there and watch a movie and go home only to be told, that the movie was for our info and will not be on the test. I would rather take my tree limb legs home and prop them up or lay in the tub. And by God, stop saying, "I can't wait for that baby to come so that you can help me at work more". I do not need to hear that at all. One last thing, if you are getting up at 5am and I am not and the alarm goes off YOU get up and turn it off, whether it is on your side of the bed or not. It takes alot for me to roll out of bed, and usually that last hour of sleep is the only full hour of sleep that I have gotten all night.

Dear Baby:
Not rushing you, just cant wait to see you. This has been an easy pregancy and I thank you for it!

Dear OB:
An 8lb. baby is not a big baby. My husband was a 12lb baby, his siter was almost nine and all four of my mom's children were more than 8lbs. SO CHILL OK?

Dear Brothers:
I am pregnanct, still work full-time and still attend school full-time. You all are girlfriendless and lifeless do your OWN research for vacation, clubs and car parts. You have access to a computer just like I do.

Dear Father:
You are the greatest Dad a daugther can have, thanks for being awesome!

Ok, I think I am done

[AllisonK]

This is great!!

Dear Strangers on the street: I do not care that you think this baby is a girl or not, so please quit asking! And no we do not have a name yet.

Dear DH: Thank you for helping out more lately but I cannot take another joke about my "turkey timer" I am not poultry. I understand you are tired too but please.

Dear DS and DD: Please for just one day be nice to each other. Can you play together for a little while and maybe even pick up when you are done.

Dear DS: Thank you for getting over your fear of the vaccuum. It is so nice to have a clean floor and not wait until after bedtime to do it.

Dear MIL: I am sorry we are not calling you to come over for the birth. But I think that you can deal with it. If it is really that important to you find the money for a hotel. I want to birth in my house without you in it!!!

Dear MW: I really hope you are wrong, I don't know if I can mentally handle more than a week of this start and stop labor.

Dear baby: Please come out!!!!!! Mommy is aching all over and your little head is making me ache constantly. I know you will come when you are ready but please get ready soon.

Allison

[Citykid]

I'll just do one more and then I'll try to stop:

Dear feet and breasts,

I know you would prefer it if I didn't, but I really do have to wear shoes and bras most of the time. Could you please stop inflating like balloons so I can manage that?

Thanks,
me

[aweynsayl]

I can not tell you how smiley I am that you all got so into this!
xoxoxoxoxoxoox

[jeanine123]

Originally Posted by clynnr

Dear Maternity Clothes makers:
If the whole goal of your existence is to make clothes to fit women during pregnancy, WHY DO NONE OF THEM FIT ME!? And why, at 38 weeks, do none of your maternity shirts actually cover my entire belly?

YES! YES! YES! Except that I'm 36 weeks and the dang shirts haven't been long enough for a few freaking weeks now! I've been wearing men's t-shirts but I'd like something a bit more flattering than that.

[LucyRev]

Oh my god, this turned out so long!! But the whole idea is to be self indulgent right?

First of all, Nighten, I'm so sorry you lost a dear friend. I just went through the same thing, only it is because my friend decided to leave her long time (6 yrs) boyfriend and for some reason can't handle being in my life anymore because we didn't volunteer to never see the ex bf ever again, even though she said it would not be a problem. Even though he didn't do anything to prompt her leaving him, she was just bored. Even though I've seen him only twice in the past 7 months. Even though we'd been such close friends for 16 years, and even though she never told me it was even a problem, just totally cut me off when she moved, with no way to get a hold of her except email, which she ignored for months, and then broke up with me in a 3 sentence EMAIL. I'm still heartbroken too. I wish I could just hate her, but I really do miss her. Anyway, ex friend, you suck and are being completely immature, and me saying that to you is not berating you, it is being honest and calling you on your actions, which is what friends are for. It makes me cry to think you won't be a part of my new baby's life or mine, and that you made that choice without even giving us a chance.

Dear 3 yr old DD,
I love you more than you can possibly know, but please stop asking me to help you do silly things every five minutes. These are things that you can very well do by yourself. Also, I know the idea of a new baby sister is starting to freak you out, but we aren't going to "put her bed outside the window" or take her to live in jail. She will live in our house, and I know you will soon love her. You don't need to hide your toys, she won't try to eat your Littlest Pet Shop animals until she's a bit older, but good job thinking ahead. And I'm sorry to be such a stick in the mud, but my body really hurts right now. It is not fair of you to wedge your little body between me and the edge of the couch and then push me and ask me to move to a different spot. Then if I drag my big self to the chair, don't promptly come over to the chair and ask me to move again! You are really are being a good girl and listening very well most of the time.

Dear Mom,
You helped me so much during the delivery of DD#1. Thank you SO much. I did not get a doula this time around because you said you'd like to help again. Please stop stressing out about it though. That does not help me. And you don't need to call me everyday to ask if I had any contractions. I have them everyday and it means nothing. And no you can't keep DD#1 for the first week after baby is born. DD needs to be here to adjust and get to know the baby too. I do appreciate the thought though. And thanks for reminding me how much it hurt when they did the episiotomy with DD. I don't really remember that myself, but it helps ease my fears so much when you re-enact the scream I let out. :

Dear DH,
It is very sweet that you have these sympathy pains and cramps and sickies, but I have real pains and I don't want to rub your back. It is nice however that you like to rub mine. Also, don't say a freakin word about the house being a mess. Just clean it your dang self! And the fact that you let your friend stay on our couch for 7 days last week makes you lucky to be ALIVE. Add that you un-installed the baby carseat that I had just installed so that said friend could ride in our car, and then forgot to re-install it everyday for the past few days really chaps my hide. But you also know, I love you mucho.

Dear neighbor,
Stop telling me everytime you see me how I'm getting so huge. I feel huge, thanks for noticing. But also thanks for cleaning my bathrooms and kitchen floor the other day. That was really an awesome baby shower gift.

Dear MIL,
Stop asking me if my mom is still going to be in the room when the baby is born. The answer is still yes, and I know you are hoping I will say you can come too, but you cannot. And stop comparing your two kitties and dog rearing duties to my being a mom. Do you remember what it is like to have small children? You can't put a kid in a crate outside and go out for lunch, and actually you really don't need to stay home to keep your 2 kittens company even though you believe you do. And I've never told you this, but I think it is sickening that when there are so many homeless kittens in the pound, you went out and spent almost a thousand dollars so you can have pedigreed cats, and now you complain about your financial sitation. Oh, and when you comment on how dirty your insanely impeccable, spotless house is because there is one dirty dish on the counter and you forgot to put the toaster back into the cupboard, it makes me feel like a slob living in a pigpen.

Dear kitty #1,
Please stop making a ton of noise at 4 am to be fed. You are fat. You have an eating disorder. I'm sorry I don't know how to help you. Because you are so heavy, you hurt me when you sit on my tummy. I know I'm a big cushion right now, but find a different seat.

Dear kitty #2,
Thank you for not puking so much, but please stop pooping right outside the box. That is so not cool.

Dear baby,
When you simultaneously stretch all your limbs out at once, I feel like I might explode, or you might just pop right through my skin, and honey that really isn't pleasant. Anytime you feel like coming out of that little opening by your head, which I think you've been poking now and then with your fingers, is fine by me.

Dear body,
Please stop aching. You've done an awesome job during this pregnancy, but the whole pelvis aching and pelvic bone pain and feeling like I need to poop but it's just pressure from the baby is getting old. And please don't trick me with anymore 3 hour stretches of painful contractions unless you mean business.

Thanks I feel much better now!!

[Titus2fam]

Dear Anybody and EVERYBODY!

Please do not offer your help or tell me what you are going to do for me if you are not sincere. I happen to believe you when you offer, and by the time I realize I cannot count on you to follow through, I am down to the wire and hafta do it my big, pregnant, shuffling, swollen self in supernatural lengths of time! THANKS!

(((((HUGS))))) sandi