What do I do? Here is the story. I have been in a relationship with their father for 8 years. When I met them, his daughter was 6 and his son was 4. The first two years, the children lived in another city with their mother and I would see them in the summer. They moved here in 2000 to live with their father, without their mother. I did not live with them, but spent most weekends with them. We had a good relationship - I was a surrogate mom. Mom moved here in August of 2001. Everything changed, but this was natural and I was happy that the children had their mother with them. I hold all mothers in high regard - for the most part. Dad and I moved in together in December 2001 and the children lived with us 50 - 60% of the time. We have provided a stable home, rooms for each child while mom has moved twice a year since she arrived. I digress. Living together is harder for sure, but most of the discipline comes from Dad. In January 2003, I had my daughter. Initally, this was fun for the children, but over time the eldest daughter has had more and more resentment of her. They do not really get along well. Then in May 2005, Mom moved away so that the children had to take a 1.5 hour ferry ride to see her. We went from 50% to 90% custody. Only in the last two months have we received any support from her for them. My relationship with dsd has deteriored dramatically. She is 13 now and will have almost nothing to do with her sister, except to argue with her or correct her. Dad was away yesterday and dsd said " I hate you. I wish you had never gotten together with my dad and ruined my life...and I wish you'd never had ds." Then she told me she wishes her father and I would split up. I was devasted. I want the children to go and live with their mother for the summer, but mom works full time (Dad does not) and he doesn't want them to go. I think if they don't go, I will. My relationship with Dad is often difficult, and this makes it alot worse. I do not hate my stepchildren, but I dislike their behavior. Has anyone else had to deal with this - what did you do?
post #1 of 18
3/30/06 at 5:48pm