A couple months ago, my mother was asking (out of curiousity) what my parenting plans were. I said breastfeeding (she supports), cloth diapering (she doubt I can "keep up with") and co-sleeping. At this point, my own mother suggested that, if I chose to co-sleep, I would be likely to sexually abuse my son.
I cried over that a lot, after sending huge amounts of info to her. Now she thinks its a great idea.
Lately, she's been making more and more "jokes" about my mothering abilities. I told her that I've had a few dreams where she started raising my child and wouldn't give him back. When I took him back, he didn't like me at all. These dreams are so disturbing to me, I wake up crying.
My mother keeps commenting that maybe she won't have to steal my baby, that I might be a good enough mother.
At first, I was like "haha", but these comments are really starting to bother me. It's getting to the point where I'm starting to get paranoid about having her at the birth.
I just wish she'd realize how what she says effects other people.
She's always been critical, just viciously so. But if you point it out, she says she's being honest or trying to be helpful or just kidding.
When I was five, my brother almost drowned in a bathtub when my mother left us alone for a minute. She yelled at me b/c I didn't know what else to do but scream for her.
Heh, the sad thing is, its gotten better. I refuse to live near her and I refuse to go "home" just to visit. She's gotten better recently (yay, meds), but she still has this "me" mindset. My entire purpose in her life is to make things easier for her. I'm the one who's there for her when she has to deal with things; I'm the one she calls when there is a problem that she needs reassurance over.
The funny thing is my brother is just like her, but less... subtle. Until recently, my mom couldn't see what an a$$ he is, but she gets it now, more and more.
I cried over that a lot, after sending huge amounts of info to her. Now she thinks its a great idea.
Lately, she's been making more and more "jokes" about my mothering abilities. I told her that I've had a few dreams where she started raising my child and wouldn't give him back. When I took him back, he didn't like me at all. These dreams are so disturbing to me, I wake up crying.
My mother keeps commenting that maybe she won't have to steal my baby, that I might be a good enough mother.
At first, I was like "haha", but these comments are really starting to bother me. It's getting to the point where I'm starting to get paranoid about having her at the birth.
I just wish she'd realize how what she says effects other people.
She's always been critical, just viciously so. But if you point it out, she says she's being honest or trying to be helpful or just kidding.
When I was five, my brother almost drowned in a bathtub when my mother left us alone for a minute. She yelled at me b/c I didn't know what else to do but scream for her.
Heh, the sad thing is, its gotten better. I refuse to live near her and I refuse to go "home" just to visit. She's gotten better recently (yay, meds), but she still has this "me" mindset. My entire purpose in her life is to make things easier for her. I'm the one who's there for her when she has to deal with things; I'm the one she calls when there is a problem that she needs reassurance over.
The funny thing is my brother is just like her, but less... subtle. Until recently, my mom couldn't see what an a$$ he is, but she gets it now, more and more.
No advice to offer, just couldn't read and not respond.
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that sounds just really, really awful .... I'd be crying, too ...
: (um, gee, there are other rooms in the house ...) Basically, after putting up with this for a long time and realizing that this person a) wasn't going to change and b) wasn't going to stop making hurtful comments I decided that they needed to be out of my life. One of the best decisions I've ever made!
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) and can't imagine doing all of this without that. I really applaud you being so proactive about getting out of unhealthy friendships and focusing on making a new life for you and your babe. Your added info in your other post definitely sheds more light on the situation. I agree with the pp who suggested thinking about a doula, that might be a really good thing for you. Take care of yourself and your babe, and remember you have a bunch of 'cyber shoulders' here for you if you need us!!
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