day!!!! I wanted to post the other day but my computer wouldn't let me. I turned 45 just recently and it felt like a landmark b-day to me, I said I would try till I was 45, fully expectig at least one baby but more likely two in that time!!
Noordinaryspider: your post is so very well-worded. You say a lot of things in there that I feel too.
Your friends observations are very insightful, I would say if I had the right words exactly what she said! For the past 3 years I have been focused, focused and longing and longing for another child. I wondered how I would ever deal with it if it did not come to pass. I have done every thing, learned everything and spent everything trying in these last 3 years.
I wondered how you 'gave up' ttc, when it didn't seem to be in my vocabulary, and mothering was what I wanted to do and do best.
someone put it very well when they said they gave up a little at a time. Eventually, I stopped temping, stopped following my fertility signs quite so obsessively.
I still TTC mind you, on the off chance that I might conceive, but I don't feel the same pain I used to, the very same longing.
Those cobwebs of personal dreams have been dusted off a little, I've taken a look at them and set some goals for myself.
Now let it be said that I haven't given up and I probably never will, but that same intensity is gone now, I feel like I can cope with this loss~ this loss of this particular dream.
TTC in your 40's is hard, I expected it to be, but I sure have made some nice friends along the way, and you just never know if another babe will meet me.