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40+ and TTC SPRING on over!! - Page 60

post #1181 of 1257

new 40+ TTC'er here (long)

Hi everyone! I am so glad I found the MotheringDotCommune forums! I spent a lot of time reading the UC birth stories when I first came here, and then I found this thread.

I am 40, will be 41 in September, and my DH of almost 17 years and I are going to be TTC starting this month! : I am using Fertility Friend with BBT and OPK charting. Right now I am only at CD 9 (but started doing OPK yesterday since this is my first cycle for charting.) So I am basically waiting to see when/if I ovulate.

It was a long time before DH and I were ready to consider starting a family - me because of the long-term emotional effects of an abusive mother (who I have been estranged from for a decade, fortunately) and he for other, more practical reasons. Some part of me worries that it is too late, but another, larger part of me has a strong intuitive feeling that everything will be fine, that women have been having babies at this age for years, and I that I am fertile and that we will conceive quickly. I can't explain it, but I just have this core feeling that I will become pregnant soon, and that our child (I envision a little girl lol) has chosen us and is just waiting for the right time to come.

We would have started TTC last month, when I first decided I was ready, but DH had a prostate procedure and was also recovering from some throat surgery (he has health issues) so we had to postpone till this month.

I do have some worries if I become pregnant - I live at the Southern New Jersey Shore and based on my early searches I don't think I can find a doula/midwife who will take someone my age with a first-time pregnany. If I can't find one, I worry about finding a non-interventionist OB/GYN. And then, if I do have a child, there is the worry about finding a no-vax, vegetarian friendly pediatrician. Sadly, I don't live in the most crunchy of areas. I get a lot of clueless questions about being a *vegetarian* for heaven's sake.... I can't imagine the flak I would get if I tried to explain my no-vax feelings.... But I generally keep my own counsel so it's not something I care about, I'm just concerned that I will be able to find providers who are on the smae page as I am.

But then I say to myself, Cat, you are really jumping the gun! I'm not even pregnant yet, so first things first hehe.

I am still catching up on this thread so I am not sure yet who to cngratulate and who to send well-wishes to, but now that I have found it I will be playing catch-up!

Best wishes to all of you here,
post #1182 of 1257
Welcome Cat! I hope your intuition is right on target. Good luck with your TTC journey; it sounds like the hard part for you was getting on the road in the first place.

I tried to conceive for five years and gave up on my 40th birthday. Ironically, I conceived my first at 40 (delivered dd at 41), my second at 42 (would have been 43 when he was born, except that he came six months early) and now, at 43,


I have conceived again!! Just got my BFP today. I tried to wait till Saturday but just couldn't. I tested right before I got in the shower and promised myself I'd wait till I got out to look. Nope, couldn't do that, either. It's faint, but it's there. I don't think I'll tell dh though, till I get a darker + because I am afraid he won't believe me.

So, on to the Feb. 2008 DDC with noordinaryspider! (I'll be 44 when this baby is born, God willing).

This is the first BFP I've gotten while TTC, after years and years of -, and two + only when not actively trying.
post #1183 of 1257
Wow!!! Congratulations juneau and noordinaryspider!!! :

Sending you many, many good thoughts!

post #1184 of 1257
Congrats Juneau!!!! Wow!!! We've done great around here lately, huh??? I'm due in January but I visit the February board too so I will see you there

Welcome Cat! I'm just like you - I worry about every little thing. Best of luck to you. Sending baby dust your way. We don't vax either but I found a family doctor who is supportive. That may be an easier option for you. It's tough to find peds supportive of no vaxing. They are out there, just not many.

Both of you keep us posted on how you are doing, okay?

post #1185 of 1257
I knew it, Juneau, I just knew it! : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :


Lynne, I still haven't started the "Pregnant and over 40" thread I always said I was going to start if I ever got a bfp pretty much for the reason I babbled on and on about in my pm:

I'm not feeling sick, tired, or uncomfortable at all; in fact, I feel effing fantastic! Upthread there was a discussion about whether pregnancy and early parenting is considerably harder in our 40s than in our 20s. I'm only in my sixth week, but there is a remarkable difference between this pregnancy and my earlier ones and that is how much EASIER this one is. I almost wouldn't believe I was pregnant if it wasn't for the sore boobs and the fact that I've heard that these bursts of energy can be a symptom. I think I had it to a much lesser degree with Phoebe, but I also had intense morning sickness and fatigue and kept falling asleep in my Classical Literature class and wrecked my GPA.

I guess I did go to bed a bit early the weekend before last when I rode my bicycle 20 miles, because I'm not acustomed to quite that much riding. dd and I are starting a belly dance class tonight but she doesn't feel qualified to start teaching me Pilates until after the birth, since she never actually took the test for her personal trainer certificate and Pilates has to be altered a bit for pregnant women.

Another thing I needed to mention is that the humongous age gap is delightful! This particullar eighteen year old daughter has never been all that interested in children so I didn't expect much from her, but she is very involved in the pregnancy and looking forward to the birth. She seems quite knowledgable as well.

Cat, I'm 42 (may or may not be 43 when the baby is born) and tried for 14 cycles as a single mom by choice with very low-tech home inseminations. It felt like a lifetime when I was going through it and I was about ready to give up after this last cycle, but in retrospect it didn't really take very long considering my situation and it was so worth it.

I am hoping for a UC/UP with just my daughter, but it's a bit early to be 100% sure if that will be posible quite yet.
post #1186 of 1257
Juneau, I'm so happy for you!!!! Congratulations. I kinda had a feeling, too, looking at your chart this cycle compared to the last few. We are on a roll, ladies!

Spider, glad you're feeling well and energetic. That's definitely a plus. Are you getting your beta's tested?

Lynne, it's good to hear from you. Glad that the pregnancy is progressing well.

Welcome, Cat. The OPK's are a great tool for timing purposes. Good luck.

So, gals, as you know, I did an insem last Thursday with frozen swimmers. I went for acupuncture on Tuesday, and my ac.-ist said that my blood was really good. He thought I exhibited great signs for fertility / pregnancy. I've never been told I had good blood before. My pulse has always been wiry. Perhaps unemployment suits me well. (Obviously, my stress levels are much lower than they've been in ages. Last year when I ttc'd all year long, I was dealing with an aging dog with limited mobility, and a job I didn't love (not to mention the stress of ttc'ing with methods that don't come cheap!).

Anyway, for those of you who've been around here a while, you may remember that last year I briefly dated a guy who was wiling to help me get pregnant. That didn't last, but.... I just reconnected with a guy I used to work with. We hit it off 2 years ago when we worked together and became good friends, but he was married and it went nowhere, thanks to his solid moral values (mine were weakening due to the attraction). We actually lost touch (intentionally) so he could work on his marriage. He's separated and getting divorced now, and looked me up again. We still have that same spark that we had before, but now are able to act upon it. We had "the chat" last night about STD's, pregnancy, etc, and I told him I was ttc'ing. He offered to help. (Of course, I told him that I might already be pg with donor sperm, and he was ok with that, too.) Sometimes these guys truly surprise me. Some men only want to get laid but want no responsibility for birth control or any children they may father; others are willing to dive in head first and embrace fatherhood. (BTW, he already has 2 small children 1 1/2 and 5). Life gets more interesting all the time.

I'm going to test next Monday, then probably every day until I get a positive or AF shows. IT's not that many days away....
post #1187 of 1257
We're really rolling here.

I don't think I O'd. I'm OK though. Still working on the weight loss.

Congrats Juneau! The baby dust is flying!

: Msgb!
post #1188 of 1257
MsGB, that's wonderful news! Of course I'm hoping that you'll wind up on the February DDC with me and Juneau (I already plugged you into a due date calculator) but if that's not to be, maybe the fresh swimmers will make the difference. KD abstains from any sexual contact for 3 days before donating to build up the sperm count and the motility. The time I conceived, I didn't even wait for it to liquify, just got it up there as fast as possible with an Instad cup and left it there until we did the second insem that night (I don't know why I think it was the morning one that took, but I do) and then I actually mixed the new sample in with what was left of the old and left it in for 24 hours. I've given myself yeast by leaving Instad cups in too long, but to me it wasn't any big deal to fix the yeast after the fact.

I know what you mean about guys and I've beeen hesitant to post this anywhere, but about five days after my insem, I sort-of-unexpectedly ran into an old flame. I say sort of, because I knew that he had moved to the town about 6 miles up the freeway from me last Fall, but I'd been avoiding him. We have a very odd relationship: we met offline, then I became interested in computers in order to keep in touch with him, we fell in love over the internet and through snail mail, then he came out to visit me in September of 2001, September 11 happened, we broke up, we got back together, and then we continued the long distance thang for another four years nonstop with no visits.

We broke up during the London Subway bombings in 2005 and it wasn't pretty. In a nutshell, we had disagreements about all of the Big Three: sex, politics, and religion.

Anyway, I kind of had a gut feeling I'd run into Hans at the Kinetic sculpture race so I practiced saying, "Have we met?" and "I can't recall anyone by the name of Hans." with a straight face in front of the mirror so that I could freeze him out.

It didn't happen that way, though. I didn't recognize him untl he was right in my face and then I fell into his gorgeous blue eyes and what came out of my mouth was, "WHAT THE BLEEP ARE YOU DOING HERE?!?!?!?!"

We kind of agreed to just enjoy the day together and not bring up any of the painful stuff, although we didn't completely stick to it since he did get across just how much he missed me, what a hard time he had with the breakup (I cried nonstop for a week without even sleeping but he took it much harder than that), and that he came to see that I had been right about our political disagreements.

I told him immediately that I was TTC and he was very happy for me and he put his head down to my belly and I don't know what he said to my kid, but she must have stood up and taken notice because I started feeling implantation cramping almost immediately.

I needed about a week to think things over and then I managed to googlestalk his phone number and invite myself over to talk. I'd already gotten my :bfp and he already knew that I was going to get one.

I think we worked through the religion part that day, or at least I know that it's something that CAN be worked through. The sex part I'm not so sure, but I'm willing to give it a try. As far as the pregnancy is concerned, we would have needed a donor anyway if we had TTC as a couple because we don't have cute little matching HIV statuses so unprotected sex is just not something we can do. I don't really think it matters that much to him anyway, since his Dad, who he is very close to, is not his biological father.

That was the weekend before last and the reason I was on my bike for so long. I haven't heard from him since, so I don't know if we're back together or not. It's kind of up to him at this point. Either way, I'm glad it ended on such a sweet note and I no longer feel bad about wasting so many of my fertile years on a doomed relationship.

Life does, indeed, get very interesting.
post #1189 of 1257

I wish you much happiness, either way (with Hans). You seem like such a caring, wonderful person, deserving of a good, healthy, loving relationship.

I hope that I can join you and Juneau on the Feb board. It would be great knowing that I would have a built in support group, as I'm sure I'll have a lot of emotional, financial and technical issues to contend with. I keep having visions of a pregnant belly... I'm so glad that MC (my friend) and I had the open discussion we had last night. It's reassuring when you have skeletons to reveal and they appear to be no big deal to the person you're talking with.

I'll check in again soon.
post #1190 of 1257
Wow, there are all kinds of hormones flying around on this board. Way to go spider and MsGoodBuns! Here's hoping we three end up together in the DDC...
post #1191 of 1257
Juneau (and Spider), you must be on cloud 9 right now!
You're right about the hormones flying all over the place! We single women need our fix every now and then, too...
post #1192 of 1257
Hey noordinaryspider I did it. I started the thread for us over-40 TTC graduates: Pregnant and over 40.

Y'all come on over soon, y'hear?!
post #1193 of 1257
Juneau, thanks for doing that. Hopefully the thread will be very active this year.

OK, ladies. Please bear with me. Today is a day with minute by minute changes. With MC (my "friend") spending the night Wednesday night, I got very little sleep (can't sleep well with someone new, even tho he's very easy to snuggle with). Anyway, I slept well last night - probably 8 hours or so, waking at 5 and then going back to bed until 8:15. Took my temp both times: 97.8 at 5 a.m. and 98.8 at 8:15 a.m. Anyway, yesterday evening I felt cramping, first on the R side, then on the L side - pretty brief, and way down low. I woke up still tired, but otherwise ok. Then, just about an hour or so ago, I felt sick - not vomiting sick, but nauseous nonetheless. I wanted to lay down and nap, but tried to keep working on things at my pc. It lasted for about an hour, then disappeared. A few minutes ago I went to tinkle, and I am spotting - fresh, bright red (I know, TMI). Now, I'm feeling crampy again. Obviously, this could be AF, or implantation spotting. AF would be a downer, seeing I am at 7 DPO - too short of an LP. My follicular phase this month was nice and long - 19 days. I forgot to take progesterone supps this cycle (it's been way too long since I ttc'd last year). Not sure if I should begin taking them if this isn't AF. Any thoughts? I'm sure I"ll be back on here soon giving a blow by blow update. I'll be disappointed if it's AF coming, but ready to ttc again in 2 weeks.

post #1194 of 1257
WOW Ladies I have been on a real break. I am temping sporatically and check cm but that is it. I have been off the MDC boards for awhile. I am so excited to come back and find two of my girls PG and one quite possibly so.
: I am super excited for you all. :
post #1195 of 1257
It's good to see you again, Laurie. I've missed you.

Well, unfortunately spot became AF rather quickly. I'm out til next cycle. Just another 12-17 days from now..... I'm bummed about the short LP (7 days). I've forgotten what we're supposed to do to lengthen it. Anyone out there remember? Perhaps I need to add something to my now-basic prenatal vitamin/EPO/Fish Oil/sunflower/flax seed regimen.

Even tho I won't be in the Feb due date group, I'll be thinkin about you, Spider and Juneau.

to the rest of you.
post #1196 of 1257
B6 to lengthen LP or Vitex.
Sorry af found you
post #1197 of 1257
Thanks, Laurie. I'll add more B6 this cycle. Take it the whole time, or just LP? I'm looking forward to potentially having live sperm to work with this next go-round That is, if I haven't scared him off already. Not working, I've got too much time on my hands, and I called him both yesterday (after he left my house!) and today (without a return call yet...not that I expected one, but being hormonal....well, you know. I guess I would love to be snuggling with MC right now.) I think I'm going to have to keep dating others, just to not rely on one guy for my support system (or scare him off). It's too early; too new....
post #1198 of 1257
I took the B6 the whole time. If you do progesterone you do that after O until af shows.
Woohoo for live sperm!!!
post #1199 of 1257
Sorry to hear about AF msgoodbuns :. I am new to all this so have no supplement advice to give, but I will send lots of good wishes for your next time around.

I myself am patiently (more or less) waiting for temps and OPK to give me a green light.

Not even sure that I ovulate since this is my first month of charting, but we shall see!

Again, good luck to all the 40+ TTC'ers out there =) !

post #1200 of 1257
Gosh darn it, MsGoodBuns, sorry AF found you. I hope you can snuggle with MC at the appropriate time(s) this next cycle!

Cat, good luck with the OPKs. If you have trouble getting a positive, switch brands next month. I was using internet cheapies and getting really frustrated, because they would get darker but never + and I'd keep waiting and then they'd fade out again. But I got a different kind of internet cheapie, a double-wide strip, that had greater sensitivity, and after that it was a breeze to tell when I got the LH surge. I can't remember the site off the top of my head, but it was one I found through peeonastick.com -- they rate the different brands according to sensitivity.

P.S. I looked it up, it's babywishes.org. Of course, if you have a dark line for a long time you'll want to go the other direction and get a less sensitive test.
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