characteristics of a good mother?

[artgirl]

name the 6 top characteristics you think someone should have to be a good mother.

Here are mine:
love
empathy
patience
humor
creativity
strength


I'm doing a little unscientific research for a project i'm working on.
Thanks!!

[Anka]

human
generous
loving
caring
involved
one step ahead

[mommy2cias]

ability to recognize when she's wrong and apologize for any wrong-doings she has done.

Very good sense of humor!
able to laugh when she wants to scream.
And all of those listed above.

[Charles Baudelaire]

Basically for me, it comes down to one quality primarily:

A realization that she is not the most important person in the world and the willingness to follow that realization to its logical conclusion.

In short, what your baby needs is far, far more important than what you want.

[4evermom]

responsive

[mamaduck]

Are different qualities desirable in a good father?

[bri276]

I'd say for a mother or father, it would be to be kind, loving, affectionate, responsive, giving, and unselfish.
but as a sidenote, I hesitate to call anyone who is not abusive or seriously neglectful a "bad" mother. I think most people who truly love their kids are good parents in general, even if they use opposite techniques than I do.

[la mamita]

.

[sunnmama]

loving
patient
accepting
supportive
interested
interesting

[alexsam]

Honest
Nurturing
Stable
Sense of Humor
Thoughtful/Reflective
Advocates for her child(ren)
Patient

[BabyOsMommy]

Basically for me, it comes down to one quality primarily:

A realization that she is not the most important person in the world and the willingness to follow that realization to its logical conclusion.

In short, what your baby needs is far, far more important than what you want.

What comes with this, or counters it is the ability to know what she needs for herself to stay a good mother. It's a matter of balance. I'm learning this as I go, but focusing solely on the kids and abandoning myself is not serving any of us. So I guess recognizing wants vs needs in everyone and serving to fulfill those first is the key.

[OnTheBrink]

AVAILABLE!

Also -
flexible
commited
willing to accept help
open-minded
loving

[artgirl]

Are different qualities desirable in a good father?

nope... my project is about mothers though, which is why I phrased it that way.

thanks for all the great responses!



sometimes I get so tired here of being sure to phrase things pc all the time. I never figured this post would be one to draw snarky comments.

[mamaduck]

Certainly wasn't meant as snarky, and I would have thought we'd have enough history with each other here that I could ask a question like that.

It is important to me, because I get sick of being held to more stringent parenting standards than fathers do, kwim?

[swebster]

Originally Posted by Anka

human
generous
loving
caring
involved
one step ahead

ok, I'm nitpicking....but this was the first thing I thought of when I read human

http://www.moggies.co.uk/html/scarlett.html

[mamaduck]

Again, Kelly -- I'm sorry you took my question as a snark. Perhaps since its part of a project (and you did state that) then I should have left it alone. I was treating it as an open disscussion, and I apologize if I screwed up your intent. But I really wasn't meaning to be snarky. Its not something I'm often accused of, and in general when I ask a question -- you can assume that I am genuine.

[blessed]

Originally Posted by artgirl

sometimes I get so tired here of being sure to phrase things pc all the time. I never figured this post would be one to draw snarky comments.

Snarky.

[Anka]

Originally Posted by swebster

ok, I'm nitpicking....but this was the first thing I thought of when I read human

http://www.moggies.co.uk/html/scarlett.html

feh. I did spend time thinking if I would need to elaborate or if people would understand that the meaning was " realising, and accepting, that even mothers are only humans, not superbeings that never ever makes any misstake."

Though that was one dedicated mother cat.

[artgirl]

mamaduck...
thanks for clarifying. I think I was a little grouchy yesterday.
I did think later... "hmmm... I wonder if she were really wondering if the answers would be different for fathers"

my project is really in SUPPORT of mothers though so I want to hear what kinds of characteristics mothers hope for in themselves.

Like patience.... oh I pray for more patience sometimes. I'm trying to create something that will help mothers obtain, rejuvenate, practice, etc. the characteristics they believe in... which is why I'm asking.

sorry.

[mamaduck]

Thanks, kelly!

Okay -- this:

realising, and accepting, that even mothers are only humans, not superbeings that never ever makes any misstake.

Yes! This has been a big deal for me. I am a perfectionist. I hold myself to high standards. But I'm learning that in order to be accepting of my children and in order to respect their imperfections and humanity, then I have to be those things for myself first. So -- I think good mothers are very
- authentic
- genuine
- accepting
- love themselves and others regardless or even *because* of imperfections