characteristics of a good mother? - Page 2

[swebster]

Originally Posted by Anka

feh. I did spend time thinking if I would need to elaborate or if people would understand that the meaning was " realising, and accepting, that even mothers are only humans, not superbeings that never ever makes any misstake."

Though that was one dedicated mother cat.

Hee-hee
I knew that's what you meant, but any chance to plug Scarlet the amazing mama-cat.... I was just a few months pregnant when I first saw the story on some cheesy amazing pet videos show and I was just a blubbering mess. (hormonal, much?)

When I think about this question I think about a story my mom tells. I was just 4 or 5 and decided that the best way to wear my coat was with my legs through the sleeves, zippered up like pants, a belt around my waist and the hood hanging between my legs. no shirt of course, since the coat came up to just under my arms. A real fashionista in the making right? Anyway, the story always ends with my mom saying something along the lines of "Well, she's not me is she?" This really stuck with me and I think that in many ways it continues to influence my parenting style. Even though, of course, children are reflections of their parents... they are not us Even at only 8 months, I look at Bea and marvel at her uniqueness, her absolute personhood. and when it comes time for her to wear her coat like pants to Grammy's fancy restaraunt birthday party I hope I can roll with it, step back and remember that she may be from me, but she is not me...

does this make sense?

[artgirl]

thank you! thank you!
This is really helping.
It doesn't matter how many times something has already been mentioned... if it's something you would list... list it again.

That way I can see which characteristics are most *universal*

(I know, this is not very scientific but many mamas listing their ideas are a LOT better than just me making it up in my head)

[slightly crunchy]

kindness
accepting of shortfalls in self and others, esp. children
honesty
assertiveness/protector instinct
patience
loving

[Brigianna]

1. Respect--respecting her children as people, not things or extensions of herself
2. Love
3. Humility--knowing that she isn't infallible
4. Sacrifice--being willing to put children's needs ahead of her own
5. Patience
6. Acceptance--accepting her children for who they are, accepting that life isn't always in line with her plans

[QueenOfThePride]

OK, I'll just make my list before I read anyone else's.

1. Patience, patience, and more patience

2. An endless well of love

3. The ability to think critically and independently about issues like vaccines, schooling, healthcare, childcare, etc.

4. You must be bully-proof. Don't let your parents, friends, doctor, etc. make decisions for you and your child.

5. The belief that babies and children are PEOPLE, and should be respected. Know that children have their own mind and their own opinions and their own SELF separate from the parent.

6. The ability to provide life's necessities for your family - food, clothing, etc.

[Momma Aimee]

1. FAITH -- in God
2. FAITH -- in self
3. loving
4. calm, cool, collected, patient
5. fun, think out side the box, sense of humor
6. DEDICATION to the best of the child and family, willing to scrafice


But I am not sure they can be seperated, i think they are all linked

[Storm Bride]

love
patience (I work hard at this one)
responsiveness
a sense of humour
generosity (of time and attention, in particular - I work hard on this one, too)
energy - lots and lots of energy (I don't have this most of the time, unfortunately)

um....that's six, but also honesty and humility - we can't lie to our kids, and we have to be able to admit it when we're wrong.

[Storm Bride]

Something I missed, and it ranks highly with me: acceptance. We need to accept our kids for who they are, not try to make them something else.

[GotKids?]

selfless
creative
good sense of humor
loving
nurturing
adventurous