We turned BeanBean (remember, he's 3.5) a month ago, when Bella was born.
I'll admit it-- I'm paranoid and tense.
BeanBean was turned only because it seemed ridiculous to me to have the girls rear facing in the middle seat and BeanBean rear facing in the back. So he's forward facing, and he can see BooBah and Bella.
He talks to them, and is generally helpful. When it comes to passing things back, I either pull over (or do it before we hit the road), or I toss things back to BeanBean, who then tosses things forward to BooBah.
He actually has an easier time reaching her this way than he did when they were both rear facing and next to one another.
I've had a lot of dreams lately of driving a full-sized, 12 passenger van.
: I have no idea where we'd even find such a thing, or why we'd need one, but there you have it.
The house next door is up for sale-- to purchase, or rent to own. I called the number on the sign, and it sounds like it would probably be out of our budget, but it would be so, so cool if we could swing it! It's huge, we'd be set for space without having to move again, but there would be a lot of work involved. I like the idea, it's very exciting all by itself to think about buying a house, but it doesn't seem like a real possibility to me.
Still, we're going to do a walkthrough and talk to the owner, because what can it hurt?
It's fun to dream, right?
Bella weighs 7 pounds, 9.5 ounces and is 19.5 inches long; this makes her about the size that BeanBean was at birth. She's still not latching on comfortably for me, so I'll probably take her to LLL tomorrow and get some input. I'm way too lazy to use the nipple shield every time, but I've had to use it when my nipples were just too sore from all the bad latches.
I'm very happy with my growing girl, though, she's gaining quickly. She's been wearing some 0-3's, which look big but not "why is that baby wearing her sister's clothing?" big.
I'm putting the preemie stuff away ASAP, except for one outfit for pictures this weekend.
I had to explain to the nurse who weighed her that 7.95 was not the same as 7, 9.5; unlike the woman at WIC, the nurse assumed immediately that she was in the wrong. It took her a while to get it, but she didn't argue with me and get that condescending, "poor woman, she's stupid, too!" look on her face-- she just asked me to explain it to her again. Bella's doctor found it amusing, and had the same look on his face that he gets when he tells me about cosleeping (namely, that we're not supposed to do it).
He looked at her eyes, and said that if she's still not looking at faces by her next appointment (in other words, by the time she's an adjusted month old-- I still can't believe that there are circumstances in which that applies) he'll find us a pediatric opthamologist. My sister was telling me that she knows who the only doctor in town is who deals with babies as young as Bella; my mother goes to that office, and this doctor's FIL (or is it grandFIL?) is a resident at the assisted living facility where she works. Apparently, they're good people.
There's really nothing for me to do while I wait another month, though, except to pay attention, and of course I'm already doing that.
So BooBah was acting really strange Sunday night-- she started shrieking over and over again, the pain cry, for no apparent reason. Finally I was able to get words out of her-- she said her butt hurt. I found a little sore on her behind; I had no idea what it was, but BeanBean got some ice for her (no idea why, he's a bit odd sometimes) and it really seemed to help. Still, she spent a fair amount of the evening complaining that her butt hurt. Yesterday she pooped on our way into town; mom said it was copious and gross, but she didn't pay much attention to it at all-- she was only greatful that I'd put her in a PullUp for the trip instead of cloth.
Anyway, she was still complaining last night that she was in pain. Mike put her and BeanBean into the bathtub when we got home (they were filthy-- a long, all-too-familiar story) and told me that he suspected a UTI. I went in to look at her, and I think he's absolutely right; she looked all red and inflamed.
She also had some open fissures around her anus; that poop must have been horrendous for her.
Anyway, I put some lansinoh on her before bed last night (couldn't find the desitin) and that seemed to calm her down a lot. Mike bought her some cranberry juice, and if she's not looking a lot better this evening, I'll take her to have her blood drawn tomorrow, as well as a urinalysis.
Poor BooBah, though! I was so tired and irritated that when she started shrieking, I just refused to listen to her until she talked like a person.
: She screamed like that for an hour and a half, with me saying, "Talk, just talk! Words!" over and over again.
: I feel horrible about it, looking at her I know that she had to be in pain.
I've really got to do something about my state of mind and my health. I've just been such a mess lately, and in so much pain. I don't want to take vicodin all the time, or drink alcohol every day, but if I can't do something about the pain and my inability to sleep, these things are only going to get worse. I'm trying so hard, but I've just been such a crappy parent. Even my best days, I'm so thin skinned that I just want to crawl into a hole at the end of the day and sleep, and of course I can't do that...
I'm not sure what to do with myself, but I must take care of my mental, physical and spiritual health. I just feel so guilty when I think about spending money on anything that might be "just" for me.